Today, I hooked up with the guy I've liked for a while, even though my friends joked that his large pickup truck meant that he was "compensating" for having a small penis. They were right. Very right. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Same thing different taste
Today, I was hooking up with a guy for the first time and he told me I was in luck. When I asked why he replied, "I like little boobs." FML
Today, I finally hooked up with the boy of my dreams at a party. Later, while on AIM, I noticed one of his friend's away messages was a quote from the guy's screen name, which said, "I can't believe what I stick my dick In sometimes." FML
Quickie
Today, the guy that I've recently became close to texted me, wanting to hook up. He's very cute and I was definitely interested, so I agreed. The drive to his house lasted longer than the actual sex. He lives less than five minutes away. FML
Waste of time
Today, I hooked up with a guy. He didn't last 30 seconds before finishing, Then his car wouldn't start. I ended up walking home after a hook up that wasn't worth it. FML
Let down
Today, I visited a friend out of state. We've been flirting for months and decided to fool around at night. He was very loving and attentive, but... he'd bragged about his dick being 6 inches and it ended up being not only thin, but very short. So thin and short that I couldn't really feel it. FML
Today, a girl from my college, who's been following me around for months, finally asked me out. Not being interested, I politely declined. Now she's convinced everyone that we hooked up and that I have an incredibly small penis. FML
Freedom
Today, after finalizing my divorce, I decided to go out with a guy I had been ogling for months, after much anticipation and a few rounds of drinks at the bar, I was ready to roll. Much to my disappointment, his penis was so small the condom wouldn't stay on. FML
Murphy's law
Today, I fell for a guy after three years of being celibate, after he showed all the signs of being into me. It turns out that he likes my best friend, who is dating another guy I liked, and was just using me to compensate for her unavailability. I guess I am really a walking, talking example of Murphy's law. FML
Today, I walked behind a girl I hooked up with last weekend while she was on the computer in the library. I noticed she was looking at my Facebook page and got excited. Then I heard her say to her friend, "This is the one with the smallest dick I've ever seen." FML
That one hot friend
Today, I found out the guy I’m in love with has been side-messaging one of my closest friends about hooking up for sex. This isn’t the first guy this has happened with. FML
Top comments
Cheeley 17
So if I get a small car the women will be all over me?
annie_nk 22
There's a reason why stereotypes exist. And this guy proves that.
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Comments (85)
annie_nk 22
There's a reason why stereotypes exist. And this guy proves that.
boston9393 1
so if i liwer my truck will i be hung like a horse?
boudin227 13
And I don't have a vehicle at all... Sooo does that mean I don't have a penis at all?
soccerstar1996 18
I drive a smart car so I'm obviously under compensating
\ 28
In ShitCal, the size of the car you drive is usually inversely proportional to the size of your ego. That's why WASPs and soccer moms are almost always on edge in the richer areas.
ChevyRedneck85 13
City Boys? pffffttt please. talk about a sissy.
baref00tmama 15
No, that means it's gigantic. OP, you sound very shallow.
KawaiiCupcake 14
Omg... Big dang deal! Brake up with him cuz he doesn't have a big dick!! -___- Talk about being shallow OP. I guess you only want him for sex no relationship. Feels like I'm the only girl who doesn't care about that!!
annie_nk 22
Well, OP did say hook up. Which usually means just sex in today's society.
KawaiiCupcake 14
I just feel bad for the guy :( People judging him about something he can't help!
akiahara 14
It's unfortunate, but people do the same to women and no one makes a fuss. Also, if it causes sexual problems, well... he'll have to compensate elsewhere in that department or get with a girl who doesn't have sex high on her priority list.
yetanotherginger 19
I almost voted you up for pointing out that woman are judged like this. Then I saw that you had boobs as a display picture, and the weight of the hypocrisy caved in on top of me :(
buckerado 19
I can understand this stereotype in cities like mine, but it pisses me off when people say I'm "compensating." Unlike those rich kids at my school, that have lifted trucks, I actually pull my family's trailers(boat, tractor,etc.) around and I need a truck to get the job done...My point is this stereotype isn't always right.
azisles02 17
It's not a stereotype if it's proven true, then it's called stating facts.
drewski50 6
Thank you! Thank you for saying this.
akiahara 14
No hypocrisy here. I'm not judging the size of the assets in that picture. Regardless of the filling, the Nintendo bra wins. :D
SpenserDoherty 3
some people don't have penises. They're called women.
FlyinOrion 10
Do you know what inversely proportional means? So the bigger the car the smaller the ego? How is that any different? Also if I'm wrong or I missed something, then my mistake, sorry
Cheeley 17
So if I get a small car the women will be all over me?
graceinsheepwear 33
The proof is still in the pudding. Depends on your pudding, dude.
radiocaf 29
I like how your avatar looks like it is pondering your comment lol.
zeddiculus 22
I ride a peddle bike.
LeFrogDog 27
I ride horse and carriage.
RoboCunnilingus 23
I strut.
MikaykayUnicorn 36
no.
Bernie1298 11
Totally ;)
rememberkids 14
I ride the bus and a bike. no ladies for me at the moment.
Sansa_fml 38
#162, buy a tiny car. That's the only thing that works ;)
flashback.miss 28
it's not the size of the boat, it's the motion of the ocean. but how long is 'a while', anyway?
esines 9
F OPs life? More f that guys life. I say YDI for being shallow. She liked him before banging him so why should his tiny schlong matter
Enslaved 36
Hieroglyphics? Let me be Pacific I wanna be down in your South Seas But I got this notion that the motion of your ocean means "Small Craft Advisory" ***Had to reply with lyrics. (:
Metallica36176 16
Yes, but do you know how long it would take to get across the ocean in a rowboat?
TheDrifter 23
I always thought of sex like a leaky boat, it'll be hard to keep her afloat if you're using a tiny bucket.
generalasskicker 12
I'm more concerned that the girl is as wide as an ocean 0_0
CTMPandemonium 16
#79 Lol Jeff Foxworthy for the win!!!
Andosworld 8
You ever tried to get to London in a row boat?
cantik20 5
But it's not easy to get to England with a small boat :-(
meggieeee92 15
Well size doesn't always matter. And if you really like him, it shouldn't affect the way you feel about him.
AbstraktThoughts 13
If she genuinely liked him, she never would've hooked up with him. Idk about you guys, but girls that "hook up" with guys like that are a huuuuuuge turn off.
Axel5238 29
Agreed, but also hooked up is very vague. It for some can be making out and she felt it or she slept with him. It used to be hooking up could be everything up until oral sex. Now hooking up can also mean a one night stand. Unfortunately, hooking up is vague and more often than not a lot of people use that as a replacement for one night stand. Unfortunately, a lot of people now in general are having more one night stands, but don't consider or don't care how dangerous that can be.
graceinsheepwear 33
EDIT:
graceinsheepwear 33
well that sucked. sorry. let me be the first to thumb myself down. I was going for a delete, having misread.
Rosebudx 32
#7- It sounds like you're saying that girls shouldn't have sex with the guys they like, which is really hypocritical and seems to come from the Stone Age of morality.
happle 21
I agree with 7. Guys that get right to it are a turn off as well.
TheDrifter 23
47, I believe 7 is saying that most humans would start a relationship and share thoughts and emotions with someone they actually cared for before shagging them, not that they shouldn't shag at all. No need to get all defensive.
AbstraktThoughts 13
47: No, please point out to me where I said that girls shouldn't have sex with the guys they like. 77 explained my point in great detail, so thanks 77 :) As for the Stone Age thoughts...you're partially correct. Growing up along with this generation doesn't mean you have to adopt its every trait. Unlike many others my age, I actually care about my sex life and rather not be so lenient when it comes to who I share it with.
TheMathMajor 26
The reason one night stands among 20 somethings is becoming more common is that people don't necessarily have time or want to make time for a serious relationship while they are in collage or starting a career. Mostly this mentality is increasing among women because of the increase in women going to collage and getting more high paying jobs. I don't think there is anything wrong with it, people know the risk going into having one night stands and responsible people will be prepared to have safe sex. Sure it can be a turn off if you are interested in a serious relationship, but you shouldn't be critical of those who choose to do that sort of thing.
mattjamt 16
90 - You need to get laid big-time man.
AbstraktThoughts 13
99: Says the high schooler who works as a janitor for a golf course. Not that anyone cares, but I've been in a happy relationship with my girlfriend since college :) and damn, is the sex good. Lol.
blackbeltpsycho 16
Well it will surely effect a certain feeling for OP.
alexlam24 3
Shut up Meg
AbstraktThoughts 13
Time to go buy myself a Mini Cooper! ;)
NoFlippinWai 24
Tiny Car-huge penis. No car- nothing to prove. Loud Stereo- will make you scream. No Car and perfers you pay for dinner-Massive Penis. Proven.
tigersman1c 19
i got a f250, but i only paid 100 for it, what does that prove? lol
Faff 20
that you have a cheap penis
audreyfml1994 15
Small penis and all, you must've liked his personality enough to get to the point of intimacy. If you truly like him, you two can figure out a way to satisfy the both of you over time.
elevenseasons 9
Ahw. But you like him for who he is, right? You could work it out (;
fleur_de_fevrier_fml 22
As long as he knows how to use it... Some guys with big penises think that they don't have to make much effort and are therefore bad lays...
ScarletBloom 14
Ok. So you're saying guys with Mini Cooper has bigger "toooooo"?
ScarletBloom 14
*have
FMLkoala 28
What's a toooooo?
vinayj009 5
Maybe your friends knew beforehand because may have had sex with him.