._.
Letchworth, United Kingdom 🌶️ Spicy
Today, my wife uttered the soul-crushing words, "But we're married now, why would we have sex?" FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Same thing different taste
Sapphire Mills
🌶️ Spicy
Today, it's my 2-year wedding anniversary. It also marks 2 years since my wife told me, "We're married now we don't need to have sex anymore." FML
Here we go
🌶️ Spicy
That thing you do
Today, after sex, my wife of three months said, "You know, sex isn't as good now that we're married… Maybe we should take a break." I said we should spice things up. She said, firmly, "No, let's stop" and wouldn't talk to me for the rest of the night. FML
No fun for me then
Cardiff, United Kingdom 🌶️ Spicy
Bygone days
Today, my wife was telling me about some kinky things she did with a previous boyfriend. Since my sexual adventures were fairly limited compared to hers, I commented that I would like to try that sometime. She said, "Why would we have kinky sex? We're already married." She was serious. FML
cap
Manhattan, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Last trip
Today, I had sex with my wife, only to be told that the sex was horrible, and to be given divorce papers. FML
Korisite
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, my wife caught me masturbating to porn. She screamed at me and asked why I would be masturbating when I had her to have sex with. So I asked if she wanted to have sex, she said no. FML
Anonymous
Greensburg, United States
Stuck on amber
Today, my wife and mother of my kids said she doesn't want sex. Or a divorce. FML
Jax
🌶️ Spicy
My little boy is all grown up
Today, my mom shrieked in horror and burst into hysterical tears when I casually mentioned I was having sex. I've been married for three years. My wife and I have sex. Deal with it. FML
Anonymous
Marriage doesn't solve anything
Today, my wife told me how she really felt about me, and said she didn't love me anymore. We got married last month. FML
Anonymous
Wheatland, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I tried talking to my wife about our sexless marriage. Her only response was to toss me a sock and say "Knock yourself out, fuckstick." FML
ohyey
Norway 🌶️ Spicy
Dead bed
Today, I discovered that my wife isn't cheating on me after all, as I'd feared. We just don't have sex anymore. FML
Top comments
SammyS2012 21
Wow... that is beyond words... Try to remind her how nice sex can be? (obviously without rape)
CrazyJ716 18
Ouch...
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (168)
CrazyJ716 18
Ouch...
msworldwide 8
what a mood killer..
n_epic_fail 14
"Honey, how do you think we're going to stay married?"
Bakarra 22
^"through makeup hugs" -OPs wife
sofineedsaladder 10
I think this is every man's worst nightmare.
jipster 11
"But we're married now, why would i help with cooking and cleaning?" She'll learn.
crazytwinsmom 25
'ouch' could be part of the problem. If so, make it less painful.
hessel 13
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
just say you want to have kids together.
Verota 6
Not every man's worst nightmare. Some men don't want to have sex with their wives either. Just ask Al Bundy.
jipster 11
Or Bob Kelso
drizzy11 18
******* True.
MrsReed 14
Or my husband :(
nix1993 41
See I don't understand this mentality, I like sex, provided it's good, and as far as i'm concerned, when I get married, it's a sex partner for life. Isn't that kind of the point? You're married so you can have it pretty much whenever you want??
jessieb3 6
yeah.... good luck with that!!
AwkGirl 9
Right. Cause that's what marriage is all about: sex and nothing more. I'm sure it hqs nothing to do with love, financial stability, respect, or anything else.
AdamsNumberOne 16
Damn..
Inediblepeaches 15
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Because, you know, you cant have children unless you're married...
cupcakechick 17
@114 she doesn't want sex meaning she cant have kids, unless she injects it or w.e doctors do
RedPillSucks 31
or adopts. Not sure what #114 objection was though. They are clearly already married.
Ilmoran 20
Pretty sure 114's point is that they may already have kids, since it sounds like they were having sex up to this point, and the wife only now closed up shop.
mattorama 15
Who the hell would have children with a woman like that?
emag_eht 18
225- someone who married her
SammyS2012 21
Wow... that is beyond words... Try to remind her how nice sex can be? (obviously without rape)
dalink 24
If he has to remind her... It obviously wasn't that good to begin with. Learn some new moves.
Nevermind212 11
and it's a way of having fun and kids simultaneously
thisguy22 33
@32: Those two things cancel each other out in my experience...
trippymane 6
Best FML response I've read haha
therealafroninga 10
Nah, it's not rape if you yell surprise.
idiotboy 7
Oh no. Never count rape out sir
Kamon97 23
What about kids? D:
TeddyBeaRx666x 3
This was way to perfect of a comment xD
dead_insects 18
no woman... no matter how married...can expect this to be fair!?
zandalee 19
No woman...no matter how married...can be this sad. I actually feel sorry for both OP and the wife. Marriage counciling I think!!
Corrupt_waffles 13
I don't think that is fair at all. Sure sex isn't everything, but it's a great stress reliever and it prevents fighting over dumb shit because you are getting rid if pent up emotions. It shouldn't be everything but it should be a decent part of a relationship.
nateborg13 9
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Women say the oddest things when they are not in the kitchen...
Corrupt_waffles 13
Hello 171, I am a woman, and I don't think this FML is fair. Maybe you should read all of the thread before you type your diarrhea of the brain.
dead_insects 18
hey #171... darling, lick my boots
nateborg13 9
How did my comment get moderated lmfao. What bullshit.
aneff0592 13
Maybe she just needs a reminder of how fun it can be? Try something new to spice it up! Good luck!
Blacksabbath211 9
No! Nononono! We are NOT starting the "hand" puns again! We've had such a nice run without them...
Mr_Loudmouth 9
Or Handjalina Jolie!
MissWhitneyB 17
Damn .. That sucks
DDCA 24
Technically, it doesn't.
justlame123 8
And here I am having to beg my boyfriend for sex. Damn sorry op it sucks
jackiemora 18
I'm right there with ya :/
chlorinegreen 27
I do too... Ugh all I ask for is once in awhile.
Enslaved 36
Sounds like your guys are all stressed and overworked. I'd suggest a planned romantic get-away but he might invite his buddies. :P
goodoldave 17
I don't get it. What's wrong with guys today. I'm a nympho, I better get it a lot lol.
PhotoSmith 25
My wife is a nympho, I get out whenever I want. Which also explains the house full of kids.
spekledworf 18
I'm a nympho too but my past guys could, for the most part, keep up. I don't know what I would do if a guy was never in the mood
Mizzesbestie 13
Maybe u should meet op ;p lol
jinx1995 12
Have to beg mine too but he always says he's too tired :(
igese 11
Because we want to STAY married honey
Dusty_Busters 15
Well said
DocBastard 38
"To have children, you frigid moron." Well, that's what I would be saying to her in my head, while "Because I love you" would be coming out of my mouth. Hopefully.
Zebediabolical 43
Freudian slips are awesome. I once meant to say 'pass the sugar, sugar' and instead out came 'you ruined my ******* life!'
lylotrezor 20
@10: Oh yes, I love being called a frigid moron while I'm being asked for sex that I don't want. Also, not everyone wants children. That said, OP's wife's logic IS strange.
DocBastard 38
*pssst* TheRuined...it was a joke.
lylotrezor 20
It sounded aggressive to me. :( Oh well, now I'm buried.
RedPillSucks 31
TheRuined ruined the joke?
lylotrezor 20
Geez, you're right. I guess I was too eager to get offended. xD
False_Stupidity 41
And now your ruined!
MermaidAnnariea 10
somehow, i don't think this happened. no one can be that unrealistic and stupid, right guys? right...?