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FML - The follow-up
cupcakechick Say more :
hey guys, OP here, my bf is an amazingly great guy, and he cares about me very much, and Its just I have low self esteem, so even if I bump into him, ill apologize over and over again, and it bugs him because im always beating my self up, we have great communication, so later that day he called me back and apologized for being rude, im the luckiest girl alive to have a bf like mine :)
By cupcakechick - / Tuesday 4 June 2013 20:55 / Canada - Toronto
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  jkmartinjk  |  31

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment

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Well, I've never been in a relationship (don't you judge me >=^{) but I think I'd be one of those "overly apologetic" ones. I dunno, maybe try not to get upset about everything and we'd apologize less?

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  happle  |  31

I apologized to my ex aaaall the time and I later found out that it was because of low self-esteem. To make matters worse, my ex would put me down a lot. I have to wonder if that's the case here. :/

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  cristy91  |  31

Both my boyfriend and I apologize a lot but it works out since we're both the same. After a couple of hours of "I'm sorry I did X" "I'm sorry you had to do X because I did Y" and "Oh no, you only did Y because I did Z, I'm so sorry" we feel better and move on. I think it just matters if you're both the same, you can't have a compulsive apologizer with a normal apologizer, but you can have both be one or the other.

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Well me personally, its like "lol". Its just something to say. Doesnt mean youre actually laughing, you're just saying it because it seems appropriate. So i get annoyed if a girl constantly just says "im sorry"

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  bamagrl410  |  31

My ex used to do this ALL the time. It drove me mad because when all you ever hear is "I'm sorry" when things go wrong, it starts to feel insincere. Instead of taking responsibility for things or saying we could work on it or doing anything reassuring, all I'd hear was "sorry". I kept thinking "That's it? But that's all you ever say". Even if the "sorry" is genuine it doesn't quite communicate everything that should be said, and sometimes your significant other needs to hear more than just those two words. The frustration has really gotten to the boyfriend, and the only thing that can fix it is better communication, not another apology.

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  VampireBiter  |  31

#119 and #120 completely agree, my previous love interest would apologize all the time or just say how bad she feels about it, but then would or continue to do something that would completely detract from the apology. Apologize less, let your actions speak, everyone ends up happier.

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  tygerarmy  |  44

One of my coworkers constantly apologizes for everything. He's a really awesome guy but he's apologizes for things that aren't his fault, things he had nothing to do with and things that are beyond anyone's control. And yes he's apologized for apologizing.

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  cmayer  |  44

Might just be bc your parents made you apologize for everything.. I know it's automatic for me to apologize sometimes. I don't even mean it. I just say it bc when people are upset my subconscious knows sorry is supposed to make it better.

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  yoursucklives  |  44

i'm annoyed when my boyfriend appologizes all the time, because i don't really care about it. if he does something that makes me made, i just want him to not do it again. no need for apologizing 20 times. that doesn't really help.

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  littlem91  |  44

I do to to my family - drives them up the wall at times. Yes, I do have low self esteem, I just get upset and tongue tied and don't know what else to say. We need a serial apologisers club. Sorry.

By  Amb3rDucki3  |  21

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment

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  cupcakechick  |  21

hey guys, OP here, my bf is an amazingly great guy, and he cares about me very much, and Its just I have low self esteem, so even if I bump into him, ill apologize over and over again, and it bugs him because im always beating my self up, we have great communication, so later that day he called me back and apologized for being rude, im the luckiest girl alive to have a bf like mine :)

Reply
  Pyapi  |  21

Ah, I can relate. In certain situations where I'm nervous, I do the same thing. A friend of mine also has the same issue. Put us two together and it's apology overkill.

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  Amb3rDucki3  |  21

I'm glad he called back to apologize. Ironic huh?? Haha anyways. I used to apologize for more things than I should have. A friend taught me the phrase "don't be sorry, be silly" for when id say "I'm sorry" to things that weren't really my fault. Hope it helps OP.

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  annie_nk  |  21

He still shouldn't have yelled at you when a simple "Hey, this is starting to bug me" would do. If he really cared so much, he never would have yelled in the first place. It was really immature of him to do so.

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  cupcakechick  |  21

@139 no it wasnt, he is always calm with me, and is always telling me. but I cant help it, and like I said he was super stressed with school, and he flipped, but at least he called back and apologized

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  rawr_ily96  |  21

Don't worry OP. I'm like this with my boyfriend too. He gets a little annoyed but then I just poke him in the side (He's really ticklish) and he is not annoyed anymore. Is it strange that I even feel the need to pay him back for dates???

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  SpartanCEL  |  27

And here we can witnesses the very common attention whore ladies and gents, they show cleavage in their photos and practicaly beg for likes, but don't startle them or they'll freak and call for more

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