Today, my girlfriend was giving me head during the horror flick we were watching. Little did I know, my girlfriend isn't a big fan of horror films. It was during a sex scene that intensified the moment. The same sex scene from which emerged a sudden jump-scare. I now have bite marks on my penis. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I was watching a horror movie with my girlfriend. Suddenly, the killer jumped on screen. My girlfriend screamed. I pissed myself. FML
Today, my girlfriend was giving me head. When I came, she was scared of the "stuff" that came out. FML
Today, my horror movie-obsessed girlfriend hit a new level of crazy when she asked me to dress up as Ghostface during sex. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I got into a nasty fight. After a few hours, she wanted to give me a blowjob, so I thought we weren't mad at each other anymore. Turns out she was still mad because she bit my penis. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I went to see a horror movie. It ended up scaring her so badly that she refused to leave our bed all night long, even to pee. I have to clean the mattress now. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend to a scary movie, hoping I could comfort her at a scary part. Instead when a scary part came on, she reacted by throwing up all over my lap and the person in front of us. FML
Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job. As I reached my climax, she thought it would be funny to turn my 'weapon' against me. Boom, headshot. FML
Today, my girlfriend thought it would be sexy to stick her finger up my ass during sex. I screamed like a little girl and barely managed to finish. Afterward, she said, 'Now you know how it feels.' FML
Today, my girlfriend admitted she had a nightmare about having sex with me. FML
Today, I asked a girl I like to the movies. Wanting her to lean on me and stay in my arms during the movie, I chose a horror film. I screamed like a pussy the whole time. FML
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Top comments
lulubelles 33
Did you Scream?
TourettesGuyFTW 25
Painful times a-head, my friend.
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Comments (125)
lulubelles 33
Did you Scream?
biggestfan23 11
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
TV should've been off lol she should be only focusing on the task at hand
Casaundraaa 9
??
sugarshane007 20
They heard his Nightmare all the way down Elm Street.
Pleonasm 35
She wasn't fond of his Pinhead.
Wizardo 33
He should've Saw that coming, but at least he didn't scream for Mama...
Pleonasm 35
Saw VI in French means sausage, ahahaha ;)
Casii15 5
I read "Today, my girlffriend was giving me head during the horror flick we were watching." And I was like 'YDI'.
lambda_fml 40
WHO makes his girlfriend give him head whilst watching a horror movie? How do you even get a hardon?
asnakelovinbabe 16
How do you know he made her 70??? Maybe she wanted to! I find horror movies to be pretty boring so I would have been all over this opportunity. On a side note... Does anyone else feel like every other FML is about giving head lately?! Not that it's a bad topic. Maybe it correlates with us having recently celebrated steak and a ******* day.
asnakelovinbabe 16
Oh and to add to my previous comment. Assuming she did indeed want to and he didn't make her. If your woman grabbed your dick and was practically begging to give you head, how could you NOT get a hardon? Even if there was a horror movie on tv.
FlubbaBubba 12
Why did OP let his girlfriend go ahead with it?
PenguinBitch 43
@1.......and shout and let it all out?
PerditaDessa 38
70, I love horror movies but my boyfriend hates them, giving him head during them is the only way he'll watch one with me. Plus, there are a lot of guys who are into the things horror depicts so getting it up isn't much of a problem for them.
andyyroxx 20
Don't hold a Grudge against her for being scared. I would've lost my mind right then and there. I HATE scary movies. Like, I found Harry Potter scary.
lilhellian 26
This is the first I've heard of HP being scary .-. I guess the expression is true!:o
evilplatypus 38
5 - You're like my mother. She cried through much of the movies; she's desperately terrified of snakes. The basilisk and Nagini were nightmares for her.
Pleonasm 35
Something tells me she wouldn't have liked being in OP's Girlfriend's place, then. Ok so it's not quite as big, but it spits like a cobra.
asnakelovinbabe 16
I saw the word snake. My snakey senses started tingling.
Bradderz 2
5 - Same here man, when Prisoner of Akzaban and Goblet Of Fire came out i was say, 10-13-ish years old. And i remember being slightly scared of the prisoner black spirit thing, and more scared of the Man Who Must Not Be Named in Goblet Of Fire. I had a bit of nightmares about the bastard for a few nights after watching it in cinema. But i was young haha, im fine now but im not a fan of horrors :P
TourettesGuyFTW 25
Painful times a-head, my friend.
OneNightStander 6
I love girls who use teeth.
gc327072 30
^well you would know, wouldn't you?
Lasagnaa 24
That just sounds stupid. Who gets head during a scary movie? YDI
sugarshane007 20
This is why you use horror movies to create intimacy. The knee jerk tendency will strike, it's only a matter of when.
Catkam623 27
* don't?
sugarshane007 20
Damnit. I could've swore that I put don't.
Catkam623 27
Everybody makes mistakes some people think its a good idea to get head while watching a scary movie others forget to put in a don't, its part of being human.
lolfood 24
My penis hurts reading this.
Pleonasm 35
That's because of the horror it saw when you were born and jumped back in so deep it made a ******.
mimiminx 23
She shouldn't try to multi task in the future
ecerna10 4
Horror films made for horrible moments..
FlyingPie 17
That bites. It must be hard to watch a movie while receiving a *******. Hopefully you won't have to head to the hospital.
sugarshane007 20
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
It's comments like these that make me scream, "Save us Pleonasm!"
Pleonasm 35
This whole thread seems to have bitten off more than it can chew, and deep throating is never the solution to that.
sugarshane007 20
I'm not trying to be a dick, but I just couldn't sink my teeth into this comment initially. Next time I need to not let such things blow up in my face.
docscientist 9
Oh come on 16, he was just trying to leave his mark and I say he succeeded by the skin of his teeth.
sugarshane007 20
Sounds like a good Clive Barker movie, unfortunately they'll get Uwe Boll to direct it.
EpicSquishii 21
I've done that before!!!! But the door slammed downstairs and scared the ever-loving bejesus out of me. I felt awful! Not as bad as he did, obviously.