This is a Nearly FML. It’s an FML, nearly. It got positive votes from the users, by wasn’t approved by our team.

By Anonymous - 09/04/2016 09:46

Today, while hiking alone for the first time, I had to take a leak. I ended up wiping with what turned out to be a poison ivy leaf. FML
I agree, your life sucks 13 204
You deserved it 7 111
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Top comments

Tripartita 44

This FML was brought to you by Kleenex Go Packs. Kleenex Go Packs: hiking and having an itch-free crotch are no longer mutually exclusive!

167 4
born_hustla 26

Aww damn...I'm curious how that turned out. As gross as you may think it is to not wipe after peeing, it's better not too when you don't have clean tissue available.

116 2

Comments

Bonngoo 34

Why are you wiping in the first place?

5 36
Tripartita 44

Because if she does it 13 more times, she gets one free wipe! But seriously, it's something people with vaginas do after peeing.

72 5
Saikon1357 25

Some men do it too. And we don't know for certain the sex of OP

23 2
fakedsincerity 32

... to stop getting pee on their underwear? it's not uncommon. lol.

38 1
yenze 18

"people with vaginas" -um women lol

1 13
Tripartita 44

And some intersex folk, trans men, and non-binary people.

12 5
cantfixme36 28

I don't know if you know this, but women have these things called "vaginas", not penises, and we can't "shake dry". Women wipe after they pee.

1 1
fakedsincerity 32

Ouch! That sounds awful. Luckily I've only had poison ivy get my legs before and that was bad enough so I can't even imagine it there! It's always good to do a little research on dangerous plants/animals before hiking a new area. (:

33 0
born_hustla 26

Aww damn...I'm curious how that turned out. As gross as you may think it is to not wipe after peeing, it's better not too when you don't have clean tissue available.

116 2
ptoka 20

Take it from a male allergic to poison ivy... I'm going to guess she has had WAY, WAY better days.

3 9
CliffyB03 28

I'd rather drip dry than take my chances with unknown leaves

17 0
Feklfekl2222 32

When hiking I always have biodegradable wet wipes near the bottom of my pack, for a piss though I just do a wiggle and shake off what I can. Only exception is if it's that time of the month, but then cups are a great invention

1 0
airdude25 18

Oh man, I feel sorry for you! Make sure you know how to identify it next time.

5 1
floridagreg 10

Just don't scratch with people looking, k?

2 15
Ferris_Wheel 5

You could try some ice on the itchy area and see if that gives any relief. I normally use witch hazel on things that itch, but considering the location it might not be a good idea to use that. Hopefully it stops itching soon... :(

6 0
Tripartita 44

This FML was brought to you by Kleenex Go Packs. Kleenex Go Packs: hiking and having an itch-free crotch are no longer mutually exclusive!

167 4
Brokeandsad 8

You'd be better off drip drying that wiping with a damn leaf

9 0
The_Sadist 13

Just remember for future reference OP... "Leaves of three, let it be. Leaves of seven, you're in heaven."

14 0
FueledByFate 24

What is the second part referring to?

1 0
freddygasman 18

leaves of three, let it be. leaves of four, easy some more. - Hommer Simpson

1 0