You have been warned

By AnalProbe - 12/03/2017 18:00

Spicy
Today, my mother warned me that if I ever have anal sex I will die. I'm 28. FML
I agree, your life sucks 5 119
You deserved it 496
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Top comments

notafoot 8

100% of people who have anal sex will die, it's true.

58 1
Tripartita 44

It's your biggest design flaw which your mother deeply regrets, but when she was assembling you, she was a huge Star Wars fan and wanted to pay tribute to the Death Star. Now, should anybody penetrate your exhaust port, a huge, empire-destroying explosion will ignite.

38 6

Comments

species4872 19

If you had anal in the middle of the road you might get hit by a bus.

7 3
Tripartita 44

It's your biggest design flaw which your mother deeply regrets, but when she was assembling you, she was a huge Star Wars fan and wanted to pay tribute to the Death Star. Now, should anybody penetrate your exhaust port, a huge, empire-destroying explosion will ignite.

38 6
BurnInDemonFire 33

Does that mean you have the experience to know she's wrong?

8 1
notafoot 8

100% of people who have anal sex will die, it's true.

58 1
Cynical_1 26

You mean the secret to immorality is to abstain from anal sex? Damn...why does no one ever tell me these things?

8 0
RichardPencil 30

You won't die, you just won't shit right for a month [1] [1] from the documentary film "Bad Santa."

5 1
protoskore 27

to which the perfect response would be "My God, I'm a ZOMBIE?????"

8 0
Diana Parr 3

Just tell her it hasn't killed you yet

10 0
Nfwdude 4

Can confirm that you won't die.........straight away.

0 1