Intimacy: What have you done this time? - FML

What have you done this time?

By rockefoe - 15/11/2010 20:49 - United States

Spicy

Today, I realized the only times my boyfriend ever says, "I love you" are after he screws up or when he wants a blowjob. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 640

You deserved it 6 723

May Day: Lily of the Valley and Misunderstandings
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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 14/03/2011 19:16 - United States

Spicy

Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He responded by asking for a blowjob. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 943

You deserved it 14 580

By bugger - 22/02/2015 17:31

Spicy

Today, I looked my boyfriend in the eyes and said "I love y-" He cut me off with, "Babe, a blowjob's worth a thousand words" and held eye contact until I awkwardly excused myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 056

You deserved it 5 171

By Anonymous - 28/11/2010 06:16 - United States

Spicy

Today, while making a move in a board game that helped my boyfriend win, he got all excited and said "I love you, babe." I smiled until I realized this was the first time he told me that other than when he wants a blow-job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 855

You deserved it 6 304

By dummy - 17/02/2012 00:03 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky in bed. He mumbled something that sounded like "I love you." I replied "I love you too baby", to which he laughed then said, "I said I wanted you to blow me." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 723

You deserved it 5 663

By Anonymous - 19/06/2014 14:33 - United States - San Francisco

Spicy

Today, I was feeling unappreciated and asked my boyfriend if he loves me. He faltered and replied, "Uh, my dick does." FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 654

You deserved it 8 430

By not impressed - 09/10/2015 18:27 - Canada - Nanaimo

Spicy

Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He replied, dead serious, "That's nice and all, but anal speaks louder than words." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 315

You deserved it 4 601

By Anonymous - 07/04/2015 21:00 - Canada - Calgary

Spicy

Today, I woke up to my boyfriend repeatedly whispering in my ear, "You want to give me a blowjob". Yes, he actually thought it would work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 999

You deserved it 4 667

By Ananimus - 26/08/2015 12:31 - United States - Peekskill

Spicy

Today, I overheard my boyfriend of two years saying he only dates me because "sometimes jerking off just ain't good enough". FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 577

You deserved it 2 374

I'll take what I can get

By Queen LaQueefah - 13/09/2015 11:52 - United Kingdom - Chesterfield

Spicy

Today, my rarely-romantic boyfriend finally said "I love you". Too bad he was drunk, and was talking to my vagina. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 169

You deserved it 3 392

By fml - 12/08/2011 06:14 - Canada

Spicy

Today, I was lying in bed with my boyfriend, telling him how much I loved him. His answer? "Less lovin' more humpin'." This happens every single time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 848

You deserved it 30 556

Next

Top comments

ImaginaryFoe 0

Tuesday 16 November 2010 1:16

Stop giving him ******** after he screws up.

starberries 0

Tuesday 16 November 2010 1:34

My husband tells me he loves me several times a day. Then again, maybe that's why he's the one I married.

Comments

simoneog09 0

Saturday 20 November 2010 1:16

we must have the same boyfriend. lol

malick95sumaira 0

Saturday 20 November 2010 13:00

K then I love you uhm... Lol jk

cLARiSSaisNOTW 0

Saturday 20 November 2010 21:03

Op that blows, for you and honestly, after you've come to this realization Why are you still with him? Yes FYL but YDI.

toriasky 0

Sunday 21 November 2010 16:43

DUMP HIM!!!

charlie_SLH 0

Friday 26 November 2010 21:04

This is almost certainly true simply because men always want a *******.

lalo805 0

Thursday 9 December 2010 9:06

That's life

AKIFIGHTER 0

Monday 13 December 2010 0:27

hey why dont you come over to MYSPACE and TWITTER my YAHOO until i GOOGLE all over you FACEBOOK?

asdmike9 0

Wednesday 23 February 2011 8:13

dump im not to hard a choice

Death_The_Kid15 20

Friday 28 August 2015 4:55

What OP needs to dump is a dictionary on your head.

babylioncub 0

Friday 18 March 2011 7:32

typical male behavior

FischFisch 0

Tuesday 5 April 2011 1:03

I tell my wife I love her many times throughout the day, because I love her. That being said, I usually want a ******** and/or have recently screwed up.

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Keywords

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The Top

Today, I'm a graduate of a wealthy public school in So Cal. It astonishes me how many of my classmates don’t see a problem with today’s politicians, or gas, rent, and food prices. I was given shelter but had to earn everything I had growing up. I knew I wasn’t crazy though they acted like I was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 368

You deserved it 102

Today, my step-dad was talking about how he was raised in Las Vegas, telling stories about him and his buddies, until he stopped, looked right at my mom and said, "Find her, feed her, f*ck her, forget her. But I never forgot your mom, that's how I stole her from your dad." FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 380

You deserved it 4 153

The Top

Today, I was in class when all of a sudden I was hit in the head by a metal pencil case. My teacher threw it at me to get my attention. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 744

You deserved it 35 515

Today, my pubic hairs were poking into my wang. I went to scratch it. Something bit my hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 997

You deserved it 8 347

Today, I saw a girl I haven't seen in 4 years. She used to like me back then. Since then I have lost 50 pounds, and never had the confidence to ask her out. She said I looked really sexy so I decided to ask her out on a date then and there. She said no, she only likes fat guys. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 819

You deserved it 4 875

Today, I e-mailed an employer to ask about a job I had applied for earlier. The employer in question was on vacation. The person who replied had the position which I had applied for mentioned in their signature. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 868

You deserved it 785

Today, a woman bitched me out at the grocery store, saying that since I'm not Indian, I shouldn't be wearing a bindi - a red dot on my forehead - because it's "cultural appropriation". I was too embarrassed to tell her it was actually a pimple I'd been trying to pop on my forehead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 538

You deserved it 2 858

Today I realized that my boyfriend has more money on his Metro card than I have in my entire bank account. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 468

You deserved it 284