Intimacy: What have you done this time?

What have you done this time?

By rockefoe - 15/11/2010 20:49 - United States

Today, I realized the only times my boyfriend ever says, "I love you" are after he screws up or when he wants a blowjob. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 640

You deserved it 6 723

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 14/03/2011 19:16 - United States

Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He responded by asking for a blowjob. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 943

You deserved it 14 580

By bugger - 22/02/2015 17:31

Today, I looked my boyfriend in the eyes and said "I love y-" He cut me off with, "Babe, a blowjob's worth a thousand words" and held eye contact until I awkwardly excused myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 056

You deserved it 5 171

By Anonymous - 28/11/2010 06:16 - United States

Today, while making a move in a board game that helped my boyfriend win, he got all excited and said "I love you, babe." I smiled until I realized this was the first time he told me that other than when he wants a blow-job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 855

You deserved it 6 304

By dummy - 17/02/2012 00:03 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky in bed. He mumbled something that sounded like "I love you." I replied "I love you too baby", to which he laughed then said, "I said I wanted you to blow me." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 723

You deserved it 5 663

By Anonymous - 19/06/2014 14:33 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was feeling unappreciated and asked my boyfriend if he loves me. He faltered and replied, "Uh, my dick does." FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 654

You deserved it 8 430

By not impressed - 09/10/2015 18:27 - Canada - Nanaimo

Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He replied, dead serious, "That's nice and all, but anal speaks louder than words." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 315

You deserved it 4 601

By Anonymous - 07/04/2015 21:00 - Canada - Calgary

Today, I woke up to my boyfriend repeatedly whispering in my ear, "You want to give me a blowjob". Yes, he actually thought it would work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 999

You deserved it 4 667

By Ananimus - 26/08/2015 12:31 - United States - Peekskill

Today, I overheard my boyfriend of two years saying he only dates me because "sometimes jerking off just ain't good enough". FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 577

You deserved it 2 374

I'll take what I can get

By Queen LaQueefah - 13/09/2015 11:52 - United Kingdom - Chesterfield

Today, my rarely-romantic boyfriend finally said "I love you". Too bad he was drunk, and was talking to my vagina. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 169

You deserved it 3 392

By fml - 12/08/2011 06:14 - Canada

Today, I was lying in bed with my boyfriend, telling him how much I loved him. His answer? "Less lovin' more humpin'." This happens every single time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 848

You deserved it 30 556

ImaginaryFoe 0

Tuesday 16 November 2010 1:16

Stop giving him ******** after he screws up.

starberries 0

Tuesday 16 November 2010 1:34

My husband tells me he loves me several times a day. Then again, maybe that's why he's the one I married.

Comments

lv426master 0

Tuesday 16 November 2010 14:00

Been there... Hell, there now, and he's just my friend with benefits...

plzfckme 3

Tuesday 16 November 2010 16:32

I do it all the time, you must be good giving ******** :)

rextasy 0

Tuesday 16 November 2010 20:35

If he's a typical male, he be telling you he loves you all the time.

Nadinek98 0

Wednesday 17 November 2010 5:39

kick him in the balls and see if he likes it;) maybe he will say he loves u :S:P:);)¦{=]

Pocahontas22_fml 0

Wednesday 17 November 2010 10:00

haha typical boy

Xay_fml 0

Wednesday 17 November 2010 22:04

Y are u still with him

FrenchyBuddy 1

Thursday 18 November 2010 0:11

wow we males have REALLY a bad reputation... I wonder where it come from...:p

juleski21 0

Thursday 18 November 2010 3:52

Is there any other time to say it?

cherry72 13

Thursday 18 November 2010 9:52

that would be another FML to entertain us. shh. lol

lovethejoker440 0

Friday 19 November 2010 5:06

you put a dick in your mouth?! ew

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I was having sexy time with my girlfriend when she said she needed to pee. She came back 5 minutes later and started talking about how she hasn't seen her best friend in ages and misses her. Needless to say, I couldn't get the man downstairs back up when we continued. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 074

You deserved it 184

Today, I brought my best friend home and told my dad we were going to study together. He loudly replied "Woah!", stumbled around for a few seconds like he was drunk, then apologized and said the "sheer amount of gayness" between us had overloaded his gaydar. We're not gay, dammit! FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 753

You deserved it 3 574

The Top

Today, I jokingly told my mother to "go fall down a hole" during a mock argument we always have. Not even 10 minutes later, our basement stairs gave out. When I said that, I didn't want her to break both her arms or to actually fall into a gaping hole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 897

You deserved it 475

Today, I was looking through my boyfriend's Facebook photos, when I saw a recent comment by one of his friends asking how his night out with "Danielle" went. He replied: "Dude, keep that shit on the down-low." We've been dating for over a year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 859

You deserved it 3 179

Today, I spent two hours making a cake that I'd promised my class for weeks. I boarded the train to school, but soon dozed off. A few minutes later, I awoke with a start and noticed a chunk of the cake missing and a homeless man next to me with frosting around his mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 294

You deserved it 8 531

Today, after being dumped by my boyfriend of two years, I poured my heart out to my dad. He nodded and looked sympathetic throughout. Afterwards, I asked him what I should do. He replied, "How the hell should I know?" and awkwardly left my room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 925

You deserved it 5 698

Today, I walked in on my dad masturbating to a nude photo of my mum on the computer. She passed away four years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 632

You deserved it 1 076

Today, I was trying to exercise more, so I went for a walk. I was quickly overtaken by a middle-aged lady with cankles, carrying heavy shopping bags in each hand. I'm 19, skinny, and apparently very unfit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 827

You deserved it 2 553

What have you done this time?

Same thing different taste

I'll take what I can get

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