Intimacy: Wankers of the world unite! - FML

Wankers of the world unite!

By ari - 19/03/2012 05:49 - United States

Spicy

Today, I found out why teenage boys have "Keep out" and "Please knock" signs on their bedroom doors. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 847

You deserved it 53 293

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Same thing different taste

By none - 28/02/2012 18:55 - United States

Spicy

Today, I realized you should always knock on your parents' door before entering. Even at 6:30 am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 932

You deserved it 35 350

By fluke - 19/09/2011 17:24 - United States

Today, I tried to stop a teenage boy from entering the woman's bathroom. When he argued with me I had him thrown out. Turns out, according to their parents and driver's license, it was a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 824

You deserved it 45 963

By Devon - 03/09/2010 04:35 - United States

Today, I found out that there is literally a giant hole in my son's bedroom because my son wanted to build a "secret entrance." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 063

You deserved it 5 040

Got money to throw around? Get into real estate

By Anonymous - 05/03/2022 02:00

Spicy

Today, I found out the sole reason my son insisted on buying the house he did is because he was told on the grapevine that one of his new neighbours is a hot 20-something who never closes her curtains to undress at night. I raised a perverted idiot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 103

You deserved it 282

By Anonymous - 02/11/2018 12:00

Today, I found out my son has been sneaking out of his room at night to see his girlfriend. He's a fully-grown 23-year-old man with a job and his own car. He doesn't need to sneak out. What an idiot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 552

You deserved it 570

By Not Amish FFS - 17/05/2019 20:00

Today, my boyfriend and I had a fight about his parents. We're both 23-year-old university students who aren't allowed in his bedroom unless the door is completely open. Nothing he says to his parents will change this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 719

You deserved it 709

Fair warning

By Alwayshappens2me - 17/07/2009 23:09 - United States

Spicy

Today, I learned that even when you put a sock on the door because you are having sex with your boyfriend, it doesn't mean your mom won't walk into your brand new apartment for a "surprise visit." FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 417

You deserved it 10 507

Get it on

By kmb04 - 02/08/2009 15:12 - Canada

Spicy

Today, after a great night of sexual ecstacy, I ran to answer the door. The angry woman standing there introduced herself. ''Hi, I'm your neighbor. My seven year-old son's bedroom is just next to yours and when you scream at night, he gets scared. Do you think you could keep it down?'' FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 372

You deserved it 34 294

By helloimkylieee - 25/01/2016 01:04 - United States - Tracy

Spicy

Today, I had to convince my parents to shut the door when they have sex. They have done this on multiple occasions. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 764

You deserved it 1 555

Time to get a lock

By Anonymous - 11/03/2024 08:00 - United States

Today, I learned it's not safe to take a bath if my aunt is staying over, because apparently she was never taught the "Knock before you enter" rule if the bathroom door is closed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 409

You deserved it 114

Next

Top comments

jmu2011 6

Monday 19 March 2012 12:05

*fap fap fap fap fap*

ghostlilac 25

Monday 19 March 2012 12:09

Did you not see the "hardcore ****" FML from earlier? :P

Comments

ElricMustang 23

Monday 19 March 2012 21:58

Well it doesn't have to be specificlly for that reason. Everyone deserves their own privacy in their room.

hellonyancat 6

Monday 19 March 2012 22:17

I feel worse for the teenage boy you walked in on to be honest. You should always knock irrespective of age and gender. It's just polite.

Nickel615 0

Monday 19 March 2012 22:24

People need to knock

Czech_Zidane 14

Monday 19 March 2012 22:25

You deserved it. How would YOU like if your son will just come in your room without knocking? I feel worse for him. Knocking is polite even if parents are 80 and "kids" 60 years old.

femaleweezy_fml 3

Monday 19 March 2012 22:46

"I SAID DONT DISTURB ME WHILE IM CLEANING MY ROOM"

edgardallas5151 1

Monday 19 March 2012 22:53

Caught beating a man named Johnson

savagee133 13

Monday 19 March 2012 23:17

haha oh geez that's kinda gross

JTorres8 6

Monday 19 March 2012 23:57

You thought we just have those for show?

jdawg2010 0

Tuesday 20 March 2012 0:03

Yeah no kidding. I wish MY parents/siblings would "realize" why. I am a girl and I get walked in on while I'm changing all the time.!!

lockerbilr 0

Tuesday 20 March 2012 0:34

Dumbass

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The Top

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting it on. At one point, he started to kiss my ear. Then, he stopped, went into the bathroom, and came out with about four Q-tips. He then said to me, "Just take care of your ears, then I'll continue." FML

I agree, your life sucks 860

You deserved it 1 997

Today, I told my man that, in order to get me ready for sex within a minute whenever he wants, he only needs to relearn how to go down on me, which he used to do splendidly but has somehow forgotten. He apparently considers this too much effort and will rather keep groping me unsuccessfully. FML

I agree, your life sucks 385

You deserved it 101

The Top

Today, after weeks of my girlfriend telling me to be romantic, I decided to make a romantic bath for us, complete with oil bath beads. After we get ready to take the bath, she puts her hand in the water and says she won't get it because 'it feels slimy'. I enjoyed a romantic bath alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 301

You deserved it 3 970

Today, my friend sent me a link to a porn video. The guy in it was my boyfriend, the girl in it wasn't me, but they were in my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 132

You deserved it 274

Today, I found out there is such a thing as eyebrow dandruff, and that I have it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 055

You deserved it 5 769

Today, I learned that the IBS that several doctors have been misdiagnosing me with for 10 years is actually IBD, which is not only infinitely worse, but it's gotten to the point where surgery might be in my immediate future. FML

I agree, your life sucks 636

You deserved it 58

Today, my manager forced me to call the guy she fired a few weeks ago, and grovel shamelessly to him to come back to work, and that I'd better convince him to return, or else. The problem is, not only does he hate my manager's guts, he's now working a godsend job in Japan, which pays 4 times as much, and gave him a car and a house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 755

You deserved it 82

Today, I took my daughter to the zoo, because she loves tigers. Correction: she used to love tigers, until one sprayed urine on her from a distance of four meters. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 398

You deserved it 5 433