Truth hurts

By Unemployed - 28/08/2016 17:16 - Australia - Hinchinbrook

Today, I discovered that my supervisor, who I thought liked me, actually thinks I'm incompetent and lack emotional intelligence. I'm a student nurse and I've just listed her as my reference for our single, statewide job application. There's no way to change it. FML
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You deserved it 1 293
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Top comments

GhostFox 33

Wow, that is bullshit. Not telling someone that you think they need improvements in a region vital to their job is such a dick move. I really suggest trying to get help from someone that works in the application program and explaining the issue. I'd also seriously advise taking what she did up with her superior, because that was seriously inappropriate of her and almost sounds like she was trying to sabotage your career. It really sounds like she baited you into using her as a reference just so she could **** you over...

138 11
fifi125 21

There's only one way out: murder her. You can't give a bad reference from the grave!

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Comments

namiika 6

That's why the rule of thumb is to always ask someone if you can use them as a reference. I feel your pain though!

7 0
meheem 13

hmm so it looks like you do lack emotional intelligence a little since you couldn't tell she didn't like you. I am in the same boat. I am not very good at reading people and in my case I trust people too easily and keep getting deceived... I feel your pain :(

6 1
josephbates 8

Sounds like it's your fault for being so incompetent you don't even notice you're incompetent

1 8
claudiajean 24

I could be wrong but I don't think someone is allowed to give a bad reference, per se, though obviously a non enthusiastic one may be just as damaging. From one student nurse to another, I wish you all the bests it's your studies and career though!

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Namenlos_fml 20

They can if they're listed on the reference list

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Chazzster 28

Sorry OP - Always ask the person before using them as a reference. Hopefully if they have reservations it will come up then before it's too late.

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lilchica22001 22

Don't take it personally OP....for some reason...a lot of seasoned nurses "eat their young" so to speak. I encountered it as a new nurse as well. Just don't let it get you down. Bounce back and be the best nurse you can be. Ask for another preceptor or talk to that lady and ask if there is anything you can improve or work on. She may be impressed by you taking the initiative to ask her for help. I've been an RN for 4 years now and I promise it gets better :)

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Wunniebee 2

I had a similar thing. my former boss happily agreed to be my reference..she told everyone i was unreliable. (given her no reason to say this) safe to say i took her right off that list.

1 0
annalily5 28

Sounds like she might have been right about the lacking emotional intelligence if you thought she liked you.

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jvanevery 19

what the hell does emotional intelligence mean in the nursing profession

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rebelwithmouseyhair 18

It means being able to tell if someone's taking it bad, is in pain but not saying it, or doesn't want visitors. It means exercising a little tact when needed, flagging any weird behaviour to the appropriate person, being able to resolve disputes among patients, being diplomatic with nosy visitors without giving away any confidential information, being able to tell whether a patient is lying or faking, being able to tell whether a patient will take well to certain recommended treatments, offering a cup of tea when it's sorely needed, announcing "you have cancer" in a way that doesn't feel like you're being bulldozered over, knowing how much detail to give when a patient asks what the yellow pill is for, knowing when to turn a blind eye, knowing when to call the doctor even though the figures look fine.... there's barely a nursing interaction where it isn't required in fact.

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ohSNAPyall 26

Withdraw the application; tell a clerk you found a job, if needed. Then submit a new application.

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