Intimacy: Today, while my wife was watching me get undressed she said "Bloody...

By foutu - 21/02/2010 11:52 - France

Today, while my wife was watching me get undressed she said "Bloody hell, you really are getting a beer belly. And it makes your already tiny willy look even tinier." All her accusations are true. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 756

You deserved it 7 729

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

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Same thing different taste

Chubby Love, by Bon Iver

By Anonymous - 11/12/2021 07:59

Today, I realised that my husband and I have gotten so fat that his already small dick no longer even reaches me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 905

You deserved it 1 477

Power moves

By Travis - 10/09/2021 22:59

Today, my wife told me that I take her breath away. However, she was talking about my large stomach hitting her while we have sex and knocking the wind out of her with every thrust. FML

I agree, your life sucks 603

You deserved it 1 188

By The fat and the ugly - 27/10/2011 18:56 - Finland

Today, I was getting out of the shower, when my boyfriend decided to ask, "Did your boobs get smaller, or did you just gain weight around them?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 124

You deserved it 5 153

By f.a.t. - 04/10/2013 08:20 - Australia

Today, while in bed, my boyfriend pointed to my stomach and said, "Bad fat", then pointed to my boobs and said, "Good fat." FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 601

You deserved it 7 772

TMI

By Anonymous - 29/03/2021 21:59 - United States - Crystal City

Today, my neighbor, who is an elderly woman that I barely know, decided to tell me about how she feels she's lost too much weight and now when she looks at herself naked she thinks her boobs hang and look like bull testicles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 924

You deserved it 105

By Chubs - 29/03/2009 12:32 - Norway

Today, I was playing with my kid cousin outside. It was warm, so I was wearing my new bikini, and felt pretty good about myself. She suddenly turns to me and asks, "How come your tits are so small when you have such a big belly?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 332

You deserved it 11 648

Unwarranted

By Ryan - 20/12/2011 17:57 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting hot and heavy. She had her shirt off, and commented on the small size of her breasts. Trying to make her feel better, I said I'd dated girls with smaller breasts. She replied by saying she'd dated bigger penises. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 651

You deserved it 60 062

By brittrod - 05/12/2011 01:13 - United States

Today, when my mother-in-law told me I was losing weight, my husband started laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 036

You deserved it 3 384

By nick - 06/03/2011 01:42 - United States

Today, my dad got drunk and asked if I had inherited his "abnormally tiny penis." FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 433

You deserved it 3 813

By AbFlab - 01/06/2010 04:35 - United States

Today, I've been dieting and working out trying to work towards some solid abs because I know my girlfriend digs that stuff. I've been miserable trying to achieve this goal, plus to make things even better while kissing today she grabbed my stomach and said "I just love your abs of... flab." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 795

You deserved it 5 224

m15m 0

Sunday 21 February 2010 16:05

you call that bitch your wife???

koolitaliano 0

Sunday 21 February 2010 16:05

tell her she has small ****, ;)

Comments

perfect_distance 0

Thursday 5 August 2010 18:44

actually, for every 30 lbs that a man is overweight, he looses an inch of his penis :)

tylerwb 4

Monday 6 September 2010 2:48

this is a well deserved murder of a spouse haha

ydi_4_suking 20

Tuesday 2 November 2010 8:14

That's what you get for having one the size of a jolly rancher

HannahPaloozah 0

Wednesday 20 July 2011 22:31

she wasn't accusing u , she was TELLING u

fuzzybear14 0

Wednesday 25 January 2012 3:43

Who says bloody hell anymore?

twilightluvr101 4

Sunday 11 March 2012 5:12

Lmfao she said bloody hell, willy, and said u got tiny balls:-P

imbedderdenu 23

Friday 2 August 2013 18:39

sounds like someone needs to start a diet...??

Pyrithium 8

Wednesday 19 November 2014 3:17

Hit the ******* gym you lazy ****

Muhubi 9

Thursday 23 June 2016 3:35

poor guy! I'm sorry man. that's just mean

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The Top

Today, I put on some skimpy shorts and bent down to get something on the bottom shelf of the fridge to get my boyfriend's attention. On my way up, I slammed my head on the edge of the fridge. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 940

You deserved it 46 020

Today, my step-dad was talking about how he was raised in Las Vegas, telling stories about him and his buddies, until he stopped, looked right at my mom and said, "Find her, feed her, f*ck her, forget her. But I never forgot your mom, that's how I stole her from your dad." FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 380

You deserved it 4 153

The Top

Today, I finally made the connection between people in my apartment building flushing their toilets, and my running shower water becoming scalding hot. This wouldn't be quite as bad if there weren't six floors to the building, with twenty units on each. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 267

You deserved it 2 616

Today, my brother got a pet ferret. He told me it had a flexible spine, so I bent it backwards. It farted, and clawed my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 342

You deserved it 87 178

Today, I woke up without my fiancé in bed next to me, but I assumed he'd gone to work early. I went on Facebook to find that he had posted a break-up post to himself from my account and set my status to single. I then found a note with "Sorry" written on it stuck to the kitchen counter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 930

You deserved it 3 649

Today, my wife told me alcohol gives me "increased confidence without increased ability." FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 556

You deserved it 4 596

Today, I realised that I live to work. I’m not even good at my job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 926

You deserved it 183

Today, I decided to fake it when my husband and I were making love. Afterwards, he told me that he could tell my head was "really in the game" and felt a stronger connection with me now and was glad I opened up and "let go" with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 231

You deserved it 40 410

Same thing different taste

Chubby Love, by Bon Iver

Power moves

TMI

Unwarranted

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