Intimacy, Sex and Relatable: Chubby Love, by Bon Iver - FML

Chubby Love, by Bon Iver

By Anonymous - 11/12/2021 07:59

Spicy

Today, I realised that my husband and I have gotten so fat that his already small dick no longer even reaches me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 905

You deserved it 1 477

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

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Same thing different taste

By dawg3360 - 07/06/2009 06:02 - Canada

Today, I noticed I have to lift up my fat to see my penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 636

You deserved it 134 185

Missing

By SignificantShrinkage - 08/10/2018 03:00

Spicy

Today, I found out that when you gain too much weight, your penis can get significantly smaller. After noticing that things had been "off" in the bedroom, my girlfriend and I decided to measure it. There was significant shrinkage. I guess it's time to start working out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 953

You deserved it 1 903

By Anonymous - 26/12/2017 06:00

Today, I learned that my husband is attracted to obese, unhealthy women after celebrating my weight loss of 175lbs and improving my overall health. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 243

You deserved it 413

By chewybarseventy - 24/08/2010 06:17 - United States

Spicy

Today, I came home to see my husband talking to his penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 487

You deserved it 11 065

By sal - 19/08/2012 02:48 - United States - Rexburg

Spicy

Today, I had to finally accept that my husband is too large for me. Normally, it'd be a bragging point, except my private parts can't handle it. After several infections brought on after vaginal tearing, I'm having to choose between being in perpetual pain, or giving up my sex life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 879

You deserved it 4 045

By apparentfatty - 11/11/2011 11:50 - Canada

Today, I found out that my husband thinks I'm fat when I caught him slipping diet pills into my morning smoothie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 321

You deserved it 7 130

By Anonymous - 09/10/2012 08:38 - United States - Murrieta

Spicy

Today, I noticed that my penis looks tiny in my girlfriend's hands. Without thinking, I pointed it out to her. Now she thinks I have a small cock, and I think she has man-hands. Either way, we're both turned off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 134

You deserved it 36 889

Letting go

By Anonymous - 17/05/2023 15:00

Spicy

Today, after 5 years of marriage, my once-gym-mad husband is now so unfit that even standard missionary sex makes him so breathless and light headed, he has to stop in case he passes out. He hasn’t given me an orgasm in over a year and yet he insists nothing's wrong with him, and that I’m just being mean. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 290

You deserved it 254

By foutu - 21/02/2010 11:52 - France

Spicy

Today, while my wife was watching me get undressed she said "Bloody hell, you really are getting a beer belly. And it makes your already tiny willy look even tinier." All her accusations are true. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 756

You deserved it 7 729

By Anonymous - 15/05/2011 04:41 - United States

Spicy

Today, I realized that my pubes are longer than my penis itself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 84 705

You deserved it 26 752

Next

Top comments

RichardPencil 30

Saturday 11 December 2021 11:50

If only there were some magical way to reduce fatness, that might solve your problem. I hope humanity can solve that conundrum! Maybe your husband can tape a white cane with a red tip to his dick and poke you with it?

spinningrecords 14

Saturday 11 December 2021 17:22

Effective birth control.

Comments

RichardPencil 30

Saturday 11 December 2021 11:50

If only there were some magical way to reduce fatness, that might solve your problem. I hope humanity can solve that conundrum! Maybe your husband can tape a white cane with a red tip to his dick and poke you with it?

spinningrecords 14

Saturday 11 December 2021 17:22

Effective birth control.

cuz803 44

Saturday 11 December 2021 23:47

Savage!!

DarkAngelsBlade 25

Tuesday 21 December 2021 23:17

At least it's a y'all problem that can be worked on?

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The Top

Today, I told my husband to stop his friendship with our neighbor’s 17 year-old daughter. They claim they just play video games together, but lately he’s been uninterested in sex and barely shows me any affection. He vehemently said, “It’s not like we’re fucking or anything! Chill!” and stormed out of the house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 673

You deserved it 127

Today, I was going to have sex with my Hispanic boyfriend. I wanted to turn him on, so I asked my friend how to say, "Fuck me" in Spanish. She claimed it was "Pollo frito". I then had sex, constantly saying "Pollo frito" for an hour. I later realized I was saying "Fried chicken." FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 488

You deserved it 183 654

The Top

Today, my wife told me that getting in the mood to have sex with me is like trying to get in the mood to hit the treadmill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 229

You deserved it 8 403

Today, my boss fired me, saying he’d had a lot of patience with me, but now the time had come to part. Funny, a few months ago he told me that he had to have a lot of patience with each of my coworkers when they started, but that I was the only one who grasped it all right from the start. FML

I agree, your life sucks 874

You deserved it 84

Today, I had to climb over a tall gate. Getting to the top wasn't a problem, but falling face first on the way down wasn't what I'd had in mind. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 121

You deserved it 10 675

Today, I ran into an old friend, and she asked me how I was doing. I replied, "Still alive!" like I always do. I forgot both of her parents recently passed away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 585

You deserved it 631

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to a figure holding a knife above me. After I screamed in terror, the figure burst into laughter. It was my mom. She did this as payback for me not washing the dishes last night after making food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 841

You deserved it 17 634

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, and he finished before me. I thought that he was going to try and get hard again so we could continue. Unfortunately, he turned to me and said to me, "Don't worry, I'll re-spawn in a few minutes." I lost it completely. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 985

You deserved it 514