Miscellaneous: Today, while at a club, I walked up to a cutie who had been eyeing...

By desperate - 26/09/2009 14:15 - Denmark

Today, while at a club, I walked up to a cutie who had been eyeing me all night. I asked him "Is that a phone in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?". He simply replied "It's a phone" before walking away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 050

You deserved it 52 213

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 23/11/2014 01:33 - United States - Chicago

Today, I was at a club and caught a cute guy's eye from across the bar. He smiled at me, got up and came over, then said "Oh shit! You looked way hotter from back there. Damn!" and walked away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 026

You deserved it 3 581

Misleading

By KL. - 05/06/2009 19:46 - Canada

Today, I was at a club with a friend. A cute guy kept smiling and looking over at me. He left his seat and went to the bar and brought back two drinks. He waved me over and then said, "Can you tell your hot friend that I bought her a drink?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 493

You deserved it 5 013

By hhhhhhhpeterwut - 19/02/2013 03:21 - United States - Bethesda

Today, as my lame excuse to not give a guy I met at a club my phone number, I told him I didn't have a cell phone. Guess what I checked when he asked me what time it was a few minutes later. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 356

You deserved it 54 802

By 0ptimu5 - 11/09/2009 04:39 - Australia

Today, I saw a cute girl at a night club. When I approached her and introduced myself, she said "Don't you remember me? We danced here last weekend... but you were smashed that night". I cheekily replied "Oh really? That's hot, what happened next?" She said "You were hitting on me. So, I left." FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 692

You deserved it 43 452

By musamalia - 06/01/2009 11:58 - France

Today, a very pretty girl came up to me and asked me for my phone number. Very pleased, I give it to her with a huge smile and tell her that I can be reached at any time. I then watch her go back to her group of friends. My number was for her gay friend, who then meekly waved at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 977

You deserved it 3 482

By philderichmond - 14/06/2009 02:24 - United States

Today, I met a cute girl at a dance club. I entered her number in my phone just before she left the club. With a proud smile, I turned the screen towards my buddy, showing off my accomplishment. Attempting to give me a friendly pat he accidentally closed my phone. I hadn't saved the number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 147

You deserved it 17 568

By accidentalslut - 07/08/2009 17:09 - United States

Today, I met a hot guy at a club and we really hit it off. We went back to his place and we got down to business. After, I noticed he had an iPod Touch on his nightstand. I complimented him on it and he responded with, "Yeah, my girlfriend gave it to me as an anniversary present." FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 098

You deserved it 56 178

On the fritz

By Slow brain day - 09/01/2024 02:00 - United States

Today, I handed my friend his phone, telling him he'd forgotten it. He responded by taking his phone out of his pocket and showing it to me. I then realized I was holding MY phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 112

You deserved it 494

She definitely heard

By Anonymous - 09/09/2021 02:00

Today, I had to go to the mall for a quick errand. While there one of my friends who works at a phone booth was there and I stayed for a little bit chatting with him. While chatting, a girl passed by. She was so pretty that I blurted out, "What a woman!" out loud. Turns out it was my ex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 255

You deserved it 1 399

By joybirdnot_13 - 08/07/2009 12:08 - United States

Today, I was working at the mall as the girl that stands around giving out samples of the foods. This guy came up to me and we were flirting for at least 30 mins. With the tray in one hand, I gave him my cell to put his number in it. He ran away with my phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 297

You deserved it 47 120

Incubuss 0

Saturday 26 September 2009 19:42

YDI. Who the hell says a line like that?

tomakobriefs 11

Saturday 26 September 2009 19:43

Lame pickup line is lame.

Comments

integrababy 0

Sunday 27 September 2009 6:27

hahaha, thats awesome.

dalsegno 0

Sunday 27 September 2009 7:13

Yeah I would've walked away too. This is overused and dull both as a pickup line and as a joke.

foryoublue94 0

Sunday 27 September 2009 7:13

what the **** kind of line is that

KillaKingPerrie 4

Sunday 27 September 2009 7:32

YDI for being stuck in the 80's

cmac86 23

Sunday 27 September 2009 8:49

ha ha ha !!! that's classic! that reminds me of the Pat movie.

Drummr6 0

Sunday 27 September 2009 9:09

you deserve it for relying on pick up lines, especially one as unoriginal as that

guttural 0

Sunday 27 September 2009 9:51

LOL forever. That is amazing.

tashi_fml 0

Sunday 27 September 2009 10:01

he probably was interested until you gave him that stupid pick up line!!!

jaymes42 1

Sunday 27 September 2009 13:51

HAHA I did the exact thing last night to some girl, it's annoying when they act cocky as hell. So I was like a phone and walked off.

Electric_Star 0

Sunday 27 September 2009 14:35

YDI..What female freaking does that?

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The Top

Today, after taking my girlfriend on a date, she invited me back to her place for "hot coffee and dessert." Excitedly, I said yes. When we got there, we actually had coffee and dessert. When I told her this wasn't what I'd had in mind, she kicked me out for being a pervert. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 154

You deserved it 68 069

Today, I tried dyeing my hair at home to save some money. I carefully followed the instructions but when I rinsed it off, my hair turned a shocking shade of shiity neon green. Not wanting to leave the house looking like a radioactive toad, I wore a hat and hoped nobody would notice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 620

You deserved it 340

The Top

Today, I realized why I was hired to be a nanny. Apparently the husband had eyes for the last nanny. According to the wife I am not attractive enough to be a threat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 711

You deserved it 3 528

Today, in the locker room, I saw a girl with a nice hairless ass changing in front of me and the only thing I could think of was how hairy my ass would look if I dared to change in front of other people like she did. I’m also a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 429

You deserved it 168

Today, I finally had my tongue piercing heal up so I decided to try oral on my girl. Unfortunately, she has a hood piercing that got caught on my tongue ring, and neither of us could get them apart. We had to call my mom in to solve the problem. FML

I agree, your life sucks 417

You deserved it 190

Today, I ate at Waffle House for lunch, and had a Pork Chop Dinner. I'd never had it before, but I definitely I won’t get it again because later on I was getting ready for a shower and I try to let a fart out. Bad idea, because I shat all over my bathroom. Now I think I have food poisoning from it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 564

You deserved it 172

Today, I was feeling ill when I woke up. While on the bus to work, I threw up into a plastic cup. I had to sit for half an hour holding an open, very full, warm cup of vomit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 760

You deserved it 574

Today, on more than one occasion, I was mistaken for my boyfriend's mother, by his own family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 277

You deserved it 2 579

Same thing different taste

Misleading

On the fritz

She definitely heard

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