Love: Today, to avoid looking like a loser in front of his friends...

By Flip - 02/05/2012 05:06 - France

Today, to avoid looking like a loser in front of his friends who all have girlfriends, my brother made up a perfect relationship. He asked me to give him a hickey in exchange for 50 euros. Our parents walked in on us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 809

You deserved it 58 515

May Day: Lily of the Valley and Misunderstandings
When lilies of the valley bring good luck... or not! Discover the stories behind every little bell! More…

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Same thing different taste

By SisterOfTard - 10/11/2014 16:31 - United States - Florence

Today, my brother offered me $20 to practice his kissing on me for his date later this evening. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 421

You deserved it 4 696

Dominion

By baby.momma2 - 26/11/2020 19:58

Today, I told my boyfriend I was unsure of the future of our relationship, so he gave me a gigantic hickey to "show the world that I'm his." I work as a cashier and see people I know personally on a daily basis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 835

You deserved it 304

Classy.

By klifestyle2012 - 12/11/2017 19:00

Today, I came home to find my brother making out with my girlfriend while taking a selfie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 127

You deserved it 330

Suave

By Anonymous - 30/05/2009 14:36 - United States

Today, my brother had his hot friend over. I decided to make a move because he was staring at me and smiling all night, so I asked him which holiday was his favorite, Christmas or Easter while I batted my eyes and smiled. That's when he said, "You have lettuce in your teeth." FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 872

You deserved it 47 841

By IloveJapan - 02/04/2012 14:02 - Japan

Today, my boyfriend gave me a hickey. On my forehead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 427

You deserved it 10 139

By doesn't fuck on the first, thank god - 23/03/2014 20:25 - United Kingdom - Southend-on-sea

Today, my brother tried to pay me to teach him how to French-kiss, so he wouldn't screw up on his first date. I'm shocked that the weirdo managed to get a date in the first place. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 530

You deserved it 4 558

By tkrause - 01/04/2013 17:17 - Canada - Nelson

Today, my boyfriend came over with a hickey on his neck. He thinks "The vacuum did it" is a believable excuse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 431

You deserved it 4 158

By Anonymous - 09/12/2013 05:57 - United States - Spokane

Today, I discovered that my stepbrother has been telling his friends that I'm his girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 518

You deserved it 3 368

This Charming Man

By PLU - 27/01/2011 00:57 - Canada

Today, I met my boyfriend's brother. When he saw me, he whispered into my boyfriend's ear, "So, this is your bitch eh? Nice!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 954

You deserved it 5 702

By Kelly - 02/08/2012 08:11 - United States - Manteca

Today, my brother offered my boyfriend $50 to dump me. Guess who's single. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 160

You deserved it 3 174

Cairo_Sanchez 8

Wednesday 2 May 2012 11:44

That's just TOO desperate...

theunwiseone 4

Wednesday 2 May 2012 11:44

DA *****???? O.o

Comments

brandoneyez1 25

Wednesday 2 May 2012 13:41

Um.... He couldnt get a gf to do him a solid... Lol. Im sure he could have paid... Random girl to do it... Lol

caitebrown0313 2

Wednesday 2 May 2012 13:44

Y would u agree? I know its a lot of money but it's ur brother! gross

isuperman20 1

Wednesday 2 May 2012 13:48

Where was the hickey going? ????

malfonsi 0

Wednesday 2 May 2012 13:48

How much was it to have you dress as s girl?

monique8axel 6

Wednesday 2 May 2012 13:49

Family love

ebonyirony 29

Thursday 3 May 2012 1:10

Is philos. Different from Eros.

SkyBirdy 5

Wednesday 2 May 2012 13:52

Vacuum cleaner??

lovebeecharmer 6

Wednesday 2 May 2012 13:52

French...lol

theepicme 3

Wednesday 2 May 2012 13:55

Gay

KitaBrah 0

Wednesday 2 May 2012 13:56

That's ******* weird.

curlygirly1 8

Wednesday 2 May 2012 13:57

So u said yes???

Keywords

Transportation Awkward Cars Embarrassing Kids Babysitter Family Relatable Thief Money Mental health Health Depression Work Wanker Bodyshaming Love Annoying Vacation Students Parenting Intimacy First Dates AITA Singing Animals Cats Weddings Public freakouts Cops

The Top

Today, the girl of my dreams told me she only wants me for sex and not a relationship. Apparently, she thinks that because I left my ex to be with her, that I’ll do the same thing to her. It’s not like I cheated to be with her. I left my ex when I realized I caught feelings for her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 601

You deserved it 1 005

Today, a police officer pulled me over while I was riding my high performance motorbike. He asked if I knew why he'd pulled me over. It was too tempting to resist at the time, but in hindsight telling him ,“Because I let you?” was not the best idea I’ve ever had. Cops have no sense of humour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 125

You deserved it 706

The Top

Today, my boyfriend and I had the wildest sex we'd ever had. I was on top of him and started going at it like crazy. I was close to finishing when the Mortal Kombat phrase "FINISH HIM!" popped into my head. It wasn't until I saw a weird look on his face that I realized I'd said it out loud. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 270

You deserved it 867

Today, I dropped my toothbrush. Because I have the spatial awareness of a mentally-retarded gnat, I hit my head against the sink as I bent down to get it. Then I did the same on the way back up, almost KO'ing myself. My boyfriend saw the whole thing and nearly pissed himself laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 468

You deserved it 4 787

Today, it's the day before my friends' wedding. My dress has not yet been shipped from the online shop where I ordered it three weeks ago, the hand-crafted gift that was ordered last month is trapped at customs and my cats have just managed to open the drawer and eat the wedding card. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 150

You deserved it 3 034

Today, my roommate showed me what my girlfriend’s favorite position was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 666

You deserved it 59

Today, I bought my daughter a rape alarm after she had a near-miss with a creep following her to her part-time job. As soon as I handed it to her in the car park, she accidentally set it off and one of her coworkers put me in a rather painful headlock and threw me to the ground, breaking my arm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 150

You deserved it 147

Today, as I was walking downstairs to get breakfast, I saw my parents had decided to have a quickie on the couch. I had to awkwardly stand out of sight on the stairs, too scared to go down, or even back up, because our stairs creak. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 598

You deserved it 4 829