Miscellaneous: Today, the police were canvassing my neighbourhood about a recent...

By Bec - 25/07/2011 14:10 - Australia

Today, the police were canvassing my neighbourhood about a recent robbery. When I answered the door, my brother saw badges, panicked, and jumped out our apartment's third-storey window in an attempt to escape. He thought they were after him for using a bong two weeks ago. I'm related to this twit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 422

You deserved it 3 598

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 11/06/2013 03:23 - United States - Cleveland

Today, my friend told me he had just robbed a bank and needed a place to hide. Thinking he was joking, I let him in so we could hang out. 15 minutes later, the cops storm into my apartment. Now I'm an accomplice in a crime I thought was a joke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 774

You deserved it 17 562

By Ouch - 10/04/2011 08:55 - Canada

Today, I went outside to smoke a cigarette. I had my headphones in and was blasting my music. It was also cold so I had my hood up. I had my back turned to the house and wasn't paying attention. My brother thought I was a burglar and tackled me to the concrete. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 900

You deserved it 30 722

Paranoid

By Anonymous - 10/03/2023 06:00

Today, after I was locked out of my apartment, I went down the leaf-filled ravine behind the building to get to the fire escape ladder, climbed up four stories and over the balcony, then wiggled through the window on my stomach onto the living room floor. Now I'm back inside and paranoid about robbers doing the same. FML

I agree, your life sucks 774

You deserved it 207

It wasn't me

By Anonymous - 30/07/2013 17:32 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I was in the shower, oblivious to the outside world, when four police officers who had apparently been banging at my door, entered by force. They were doing a bust on a weed farm and got the wrong house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 635

You deserved it 3 601

By wreckdit - 12/10/2016 23:55 - United States

Today, I discovered that my roommate is a drug dealer and has been keeping her product in our flat. I discovered this when several police officers broke down my bathroom door and arrested me while I was in the shower. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 793

You deserved it 721

Possession

By Katelyn_Louise - 01/05/2021 10:01 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, someone left their drug bag on the table in the lounge at my place, probably a friend, and probably a mistake. The next minute the cops knock on the door and force their way in. Immediately the cop spots the drug bag and cuffs me. It wasn't even my bag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 495

You deserved it 840

Golden child

By Anonymous - 28/01/2021 07:30 - New Zealand - Palmerston North

Today, I found out my junkie brother broke into my home, and stole mine AND my children's belongings whilst we were on holiday. I rang my mother to vent, only for her to blatantly defend him and insist I got it wrong. We caught him on camera, and now I'm being scolded for even thinking he would do such a thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 473

You deserved it 86

By Anonymous - 16/09/2010 00:40 - United States

Today, I got lost trying to find the hospital my sister was giving birth in. I stopped at a store to call my mom for directions. A cop pulled up beside me and knocked loudly on my window asking me to get out. The store had been robbed and I am now a suspect. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 899

You deserved it 2 540

By ari - 17/06/2011 11:06 - United States

Today, I woke up to NYPD detectives banging on my door with flashlights, looking for some criminal who used to live in my house. Apparently, when they showed the man's mugshot to my neighbors upstairs, for some reason they identified the man as my husband. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 634

You deserved it 3 020

Panic! In the Bathroom

By MAWZ - 19/07/2011 06:33 - United States

Today, while I was showering, my brother thought it would be funny to burst through the door pretending he was a burglar. Panicked, I went to grab the soap bar as a weapon, slipped, fell, and hit my head on the faucet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 742

You deserved it 5 152

JakeLee 6

Monday 25 July 2011 19:01

weed makes ya paranoid man...

maddybopeep 2

Monday 25 July 2011 19:01

can't pick your family, fyl

Comments

BountyBass 13

Monday 25 July 2011 20:32

hits from the bong!

westop 0

Monday 25 July 2011 20:32

Police don't really make house calls about weed even when people complain. The police won't even get involved unless your growing plants without a permit(in cali at least). I'm sorry your brother is a complete dumbass.

whatsittuya 2

Monday 25 July 2011 20:44

enlighten me. how does one smoke a bong?

Enslaved 36

Monday 25 July 2011 21:22

I'll show you, bring ice water.

BbqKirbyAnn 0

Tuesday 26 July 2011 8:09

I'll bring the munchies. we'll have a party

Forlorn420 9

Monday 26 December 2011 21:51

I got the "tobacco"! Haha

Lovelyfailure 16

Monday 25 July 2011 20:48

Haha, that's funny. XD

denisa_fml 5

Monday 25 July 2011 20:52

Lul wut

zoeulani 0

Monday 25 July 2011 20:52

hah im so sry u have a jackwagon for a brother. =P

gigi03 5

Monday 25 July 2011 21:12

This is funny did he get away?!

Petunia888 13

Monday 25 July 2011 21:16

"Hey, it seemed like a good idea at the time..." XD

BigPerro4life 0

Monday 25 July 2011 21:34

take your brother for a ride to the next town. have him get out to check the tire pressure. then... leave and go home. with any luck if he's that stupid, he won't find his way home.

anti_average 5

Monday 25 July 2011 21:40

In Mississippi the only thing the police will usually do is take your weed from you if you're caught; However, if you have certain items on your person, or in your car they can arrest you for intent to distribute. Anyways I'm digressing. OP's brother is a paranoid idiot.