Intimacy: Today, the guy I have been seeing stopped me in the middle of...

By bjfail - 09/01/2010 15:56 - United Kingdom

Today, the guy I have been seeing stopped me in the middle of sex and told me to finish him off by going down on him instead. After a few minutes, I looked up to discover that the noises I had thought were moans of pleasure were actually the sounds of him snoring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 518

You deserved it 4 891

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

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Same thing different taste

So hott

By facepalm - 27/02/2009 08:39 - Singapore

Today, I was having phone sex with my boyfriend. About halfway through he went really quiet and started breathing heavily. I thought he was about to climax until I discovered he had fallen asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 730

You deserved it 15 160

Worn out

By Anonymous - 18/11/2010 16:09 - Canada

Today, while my boyfriend was going down on me, he fell asleep right between my legs. The worst part was I only noticed when he started snoring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 901

You deserved it 5 985

By Anonymous - 30/05/2009 14:19 - Australia

Today, I was having amazing sex with this guy I had been seeing for a while. It got really intense, so did my moans. Guys usually like when I moan, but he just put his hands over my mouth and told me to "shut up" because it sounded like "pig noises". FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 298

You deserved it 21 484

Relaxed

By sarabellekitty - 21/10/2019 04:00

Today, I was having really great sex with my boyfriend. I was on top and he seemed like he was really enjoying it. Then, I realized he'd fallen asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 930

You deserved it 346

Snooze fest

By Karly - 03/02/2022 20:00

Today, my boyfriend fell asleep while still giving me oral sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 218

You deserved it 226

Sexy talk

By dtmfa - 31/10/2009 04:31 - United States

Today, I spent the night with my guy, who I hadn't seen in ages. In the middle of sex, he answered his phone, told me to be quiet, talked to the girl on the other end about how boring his day was, then left the room to finish talking to her. When he came back, he asked if I felt like swallowing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 233

You deserved it 4 970

By Anonymous - 09/03/2013 08:56 - United States

Today, while having sex with my husband, he went soft. When I asked him what happened he said, "I'm about to fall asleep." He then plopped down on my chest and began to snore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 140

You deserved it 5 964

By Anonymous - 18/04/2011 03:12 - United States

Today, I was finally having sex with the man of my dreams, and then he fell asleep on top of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 583

You deserved it 8 213

Kinky

By 9gingerface66 - 15/01/2012 06:29 - United States

Today, after finally getting up the confidence, I started talking really dirty to my boyfriend on the phone. I was getting really onto it, and he seemed to enjoy it too. Then I stopped for a second to gauge his reaction. He was snoring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 848

You deserved it 4 676

The Great Pretender

By CJune24 - 22/10/2014 21:24 - United Kingdom - Huddersfield

Today, I tried to seduce my boyfriend so I mounted him and began kissing him. He immediately pretended to snore into my mouth and rolled over, making me fall off of the bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 527

You deserved it 5 442

UnicornsDoExist 0

Saturday 9 January 2010 20:44

since when do snores sound like moans of pleasure?

amberbby69 6

Saturday 9 January 2010 20:43

If he actually stopped you in the middle, then that means you were just bad, period.

Comments

pooter_stink 0

Saturday 9 January 2010 22:17

So you "tried" sucking him off after your dirty pussy was all up on that shit??? *****

robchfra 5

Friday 20 May 2011 20:32

You're a dick for saying that. You're just jealous that you can't get a girl to put her mouth on your dick.

Soulathyia 0

Saturday 9 January 2010 22:23

@unicornsdoexist: How the **** would you know your one of the ugliest bitches I've ever seen!

sorrowevicteon 9

Monday 9 January 2012 5:04

Said by the one who covers their face with prettied up rocks. Nice picture for an ass hole.

Soulathyia 0

Saturday 9 January 2010 22:31

waits for a Nazi to correct my grammar...

Shokz992 0

Saturday 9 January 2010 22:34

@Soulathyia - you're* And you're welcome.

perdix 29

Saturday 9 January 2010 22:36

A few sharp slaps to the happy sacks should fix that. You need to use your head when giving head.

Soulathyia 0

Saturday 9 January 2010 22:39

Lol you should be able to edit comments on this app.

Soulathyia 0

Saturday 9 January 2010 22:41

Oh and I forgot a comma too.

gayashellfml 0

Saturday 9 January 2010 22:49

haha! you suck

Britt2009 0

Saturday 9 January 2010 23:02

lmmfao. tht sucksss!!!

boopityboppity 11

Saturday 9 January 2010 23:04

I'm confused as to how you could possibly mistake that... YDI for this.

Keywords

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Today, I came home from college to find my favorite silk nightie that I'd left behind being modeled by Bernie, the family dog. Nobody will admit to who put it on him. I don't know what's worse, that my family is a bunch of assholes, or that my nightie is big enough to fit a Saint Bernard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 307

You deserved it 3 970

Today, I drove to a job interview. I had to sneeze, but because I was driving on the highway, I didn't let go of the wheel to cover my mouth. I didn't know the sneeze was a "productive" one until I was sitting in the interview, looked down at my new blouse, and saw the giant lugie sitting there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 408

You deserved it 8 930

The Top

Today, at an open mic comedy club, my jokes went down so poorly that someone decided to hurl a chair at me on-stage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 433

You deserved it 15 596

Today, my mom was on my Facebook and saw a chick leave a nasty comment on my status. My mom commented back something awful and really bitchy. My mom still fights my fights for me. I'm 20. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 740

You deserved it 8 050

Today, despite the fact that I’ve been battling cancer for the past year and was hospitalized for Covid, all my family can talk about is how much weight I’ve gained. Yeah, not like being out of work, quarantined and on a ton of meds has anything to do with it. Thanks guys. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 366

You deserved it 92

Today, I moved to Florida because I have poor circulation and need to be in a warm environment. The first day at my new job, I discovered my co-worker is an overweight man who wears a wool suit every day, and insists on keeping the office chilled to 65 degrees. I can't feel my fingers or toes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 621

You deserved it 3 640

Today, my extremely loud and nocturnal flatmate phoned me to tell me excitedly that he got an accordion for his birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 275

You deserved it 2 770

Today, I had to wake my mom up. While she was naked. On the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 445

You deserved it 3 684

Same thing different taste

So hott

Worn out

Relaxed

Snooze fest

Sexy talk

Kinky

The Great Pretender

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