Love: Today, the creepy guy I turned down for a date almost six years... - FML

By fuck you right back, cockspit - 14/02/2014 21:23 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, the creepy guy I turned down for a date almost six years ago, sent me a box of rotting flowers with a note calling me a cunt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 655

You deserved it 8 319

May Day: Lily of the Valley and Misunderstandings
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Same thing different taste

By he fucking smells like death! - 18/12/2018 13:00 - United States - Hesperia

Today, I was told what a bitch I am for turning down “the nice guy” after he surprised me with flowers and a hand painted portrait. He conveniently left out the part where he texted me multiple creepy porn links, doesn’t brush his teeth and has the personal hygiene of a farm animal! FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 115

You deserved it 392

By Anonymous - 01/09/2018 03:30

Today, at work, I received flowers from a Tinder fling gone wrong. He constantly flipped out on me and then would apologize. I finally got tired of it and blocked him on all social media. The scary part is that I never told him where I work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 940

You deserved it 244

By Anonymous - 02/07/2015 02:04 - United States - Lees Summit

Today, I sent the girl I like flowers, only to have her later post a picture of them online, saying, "Ha! When losers send you flowers." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 766

You deserved it 2 569

By mylifeisahell - 18/02/2010 15:01 - Norway

Today, I found garbage in my postbox. In amongst the garbage, I found a note saying ''This is all you ever will get. Stay away from me!'', from the girl I sent a love poem to the other day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 339

You deserved it 7 216

By Az - 13/06/2012 00:24 - United States - Dallas

Today, I woke up to a guy outside my house, who wanted to give me flowers and take me out on a date. Aside from it all being pretty fucking creepy anyway, the guy is my not quite right in the head second cousin, who's apparently now head-over-heels in love with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 917

You deserved it 2 383

By Anonymous - 28/11/2015 05:25 - United States

Today, I went on my first date in six years. The guy was unbelievably creepy, and I couldn't wait for it to be over. Right after we finished eating, he told me he loved me, then tried to lean in for a kiss. He looked like he was going to cry when I turned him down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 962

You deserved it 1 966

By joolsie - 15/05/2013 23:45 - United Kingdom

Today, I received a note from my creepy ex, whom I broke up with two years ago, saying how much he still misses me. I live over 100 miles away from him now. The note was hand-delivered to my new address. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 817

You deserved it 3 587

The one that got away

By Anonymous - 25/09/2019 18:00 - United States

Today, the only person who remembered my birthday was my stalker ex. He left condoms, birth control, furry handcuffs, and a lingerie set in my mailbox, with a note saying to prepare for our anniversary. We went out for a week. In sixth grade. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 141

You deserved it 150

By RosesAreRed - 14/02/2010 18:52 - United States

Today, I received a bouquet of flowers. I thought they might be from my crush, so I excitedly opened the card. It was from my druggie ex-boyfriend, who apparently can't move on with his life even after three years. The contents of the card? "Baby, I got you like a habit, and I can't give you up". FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 591

You deserved it 3 627

Empathy

By KidCudi227 - 23/10/2019 06:00 - United States

Today, my boyfriend sent me a bouquet of roses with a message attached. The message said, "Ever since your dog died you've stopped putting out, so I think we should break up." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 926

You deserved it 282

Next

Top comments

AustinDenton 22

Saturday 15 February 2014 1:14

Ahh. The signs of true love.

Nightwing98 22

Saturday 15 February 2014 1:14

He remembered you six years later....it's the thought that counts?

Comments

ohSNAPyall 26

Saturday 15 February 2014 21:01

Sounds like you missed out on a charming, stable fellow.

lessleemc 3

Saturday 15 February 2014 23:33

crazy stalker much.

i_luv_dogs 10

Saturday 15 February 2014 23:34

Was his name by any chance Mike Hunt?

Crazynocatlady 22

Sunday 16 February 2014 0:21

Seems like he just **** get over you.

Luigi2012SM64DS 6

Sunday 16 February 2014 0:53

Was his name Mike Hunt?

TheyCallMeDamien 17

Monday 17 February 2014 4:44

Put no longer a resident on it and return to sender still sealed like you never you got it. That'll eat at the little pissant for another 6 years. You turned him down for a good reason obviously.

jamaicandog 3

Monday 17 February 2014 6:30

Unless he turned out really successful and he rubbed it in if not then he's creepy as hell

TopHatNinja68 6

Monday 24 February 2014 6:55

I think tht it got really lost in transit

Nasher86 8

Sunday 9 March 2014 15:36

Probably the same flowers from 6 years ago!

sexstorys 8

Sunday 16 March 2014 4:06

When u see him walk up to him sexy like and wisper in his ear **** off and as u walk away give him the finger

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The Top

Today, I was going to have sex with my Hispanic boyfriend. I wanted to turn him on, so I asked my friend how to say, "Fuck me" in Spanish. She claimed it was "Pollo frito". I then had sex, constantly saying "Pollo frito" for an hour. I later realized I was saying "Fried chicken." FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 488

You deserved it 183 654

Today, I met my boyfriend in Hong Kong after being apart for almost 6 months. We got to our room and got right down to business. I was just about to come when a voice came over the PA system in the room. "This is just a fire alarm test, sorry for any inconvenience." FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 130

You deserved it 5 932

The Top

Today, I got a secondhand message from my mother to not jerk off so much. I know it’s secondhand because my wife says the same thing. They’re in cahoots and lie to one another: mom just wants grandkids, and my wife doesn’t want a smile on my face she didn’t put there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 124

You deserved it 508

Today, I accepted that I've fallen in love with someone completely amazing… but they live over 3000 miles away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 890

You deserved it 185

Today, I got a gift from my ex-boyfriend who's currently studying abroad. He got me a really creepy snowglobe for my "collection" as a sweet gesture, maybe to win me back. Except I don't collect snowglobes. He'd confused me with the girl he cheated on me with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 783

You deserved it 428

Today, I was at work and was trying to cheer up my stressed out manager by chatting. We were on the subject of sleeping in when I told her that I loved to be lazy and sleep in when I could. She looked up and down me and then answered, "I can see that." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 761

You deserved it 10 132

Today, it was the second anniversary of the day I met my girlfriend. I had to go to work, but I set an engagement ring and a letter on my pillow for when she woke up, and left breakfast for her on the counter. When I got home, she and all of her things were gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 943

You deserved it 9 498

Today, my wife got me a car for my birthday. It's a nice one but I soon realized it's a trap: I have to take her everywhere, or she tells me she can take it back anytime. So much for a gift. FML

I agree, your life sucks 903

You deserved it 177