Health: Today, my Mom and I found out that we're allergic to the wood... - FML

By AllergyRidden - 24/12/2011 22:05 - United States

Today, my Mom and I found out that we're allergic to the wood my Dad has been making fires with. She can't see, I can't breathe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 648

You deserved it 2 297

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Same thing different taste

Tis the season

By creimers - 01/07/2020 23:01

Today, my mom forbade me from taking any allergy medicine, because she is afraid that I'll turn into a meth addict. I have horrible allergies and can barely see or stop sneezing without them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 652

You deserved it 125

By cnkk07 - 14/10/2011 10:36 - United States

Today, my dad used the stove to boil water. Unfortunately, he turned the wrong burner on, setting the smoke alarm off. What's worse was the smell of burning plastic that came from the coffeemaker being melted down. It's been over an hour, and my eyes still burn like hell when I walk into the kitchen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 559

You deserved it 2 518

Just go already!

By i…… - 07/11/2022 14:00

Today, I told my dad to go to the doctor, as he’s been hacking his lungs up every minute for a month, and I've not had a decent night’s sleep since then. He insists he’s not sick, and my mom yelled at me because she sleeps in the same room and is able to sleep through it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 852

You deserved it 76

By Anonymous - 06/01/2015 16:40 - Vietnam - Ho Chi Minh City

Today, at a candlelit dinner, I accidentally set my dad's leg on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 613

You deserved it 4 699

By Anonymous - 11/10/2012 19:03 - United Kingdom

Today, I had to be treated for chemical burns, because my mother got the bright idea of using paint thinner to clean me up after I'd painted our living room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 419

You deserved it 3 037

By Anonymous - 26/02/2016 22:31 - United States - Malden

Today, my idiot neighbor decided the best way to dispose of the poison ivy in his yard was to pile it all up and burn it. I'm severely allergic. It was so bad that one of my eyes is still swollen half shut. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 182

You deserved it 1 369

Close shave

By Anonymous - 13/12/2021 20:00

Today, my mom got a new furnace put in because they found out the old one was leaking carbon monoxide. This is six months after I got kicked out because I was sleeping too much, so my mom thought I was using drugs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 341

You deserved it 86

By imobesejk - 17/07/2011 00:19 - United States

Today, my mother told me I'm going to get lung cancer. Because she smokes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 187

You deserved it 2 816

Call the cops!

By epipen life - 10/03/2019 16:00 - United States

Today, my boyfriend’s mom fed me a new dish containing peanuts, knowing full well I’m severely allergic. According to her, her ancestors “cured” allergies by exposing the person to the allergen. I went into anaphylactic shock. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 596

You deserved it 225

By Anonymous - 16/02/2017 08:00 - United States - Anchorage

Today, during the worst flu we've ever had, my wife and I have to go out into thirty-below weather to get firewood because the furnace broke down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 389

You deserved it 461

Next

Top comments

iliketofu 6

Sunday 25 December 2011 9:21

Merry Christmas.

kidwiththeface42 7

Sunday 25 December 2011 9:26

When I first read this all I saw was "dad" and "wood". Glad that didn't go in the direction I was heading. BTW Merry Christmas everyone, or "Happy Holidays" for all you politically correct bastards ha.

Comments

bill_lover 0

Sunday 25 December 2011 17:29

And the VERY FIRST thing yu do is post it to FML...thats how its done(;

Cola104 1

Sunday 25 December 2011 18:19

Are you sure the house isn't burning down? I can't see or breathe whenever my house burns down.

Commander223 9

Sunday 25 December 2011 18:44

I laughed... But that's because I'm an imbecile.

winterforever97 30

Sunday 25 December 2011 19:15

That sucks!

samaroo0 0

Sunday 25 December 2011 21:29

I'm so sorry! Maybe Santa can bring you some new wood or a new heater

Jmalot 5

Sunday 25 December 2011 21:45

U deserve it for not realizing it was a win win situation. Congrats on being fit

jsnoles 4

Monday 26 December 2011 0:52

So you're both allergic to smoke??

crazyman20012001 0

Monday 26 December 2011 3:40

Tell your dad to open the chimmney next time.

dhearn 0

Monday 26 December 2011 4:37

It's called smoke

christyk26 0

Monday 26 December 2011 5:45

Why do you need a fire in California?

iamireland 1

Monday 26 December 2011 6:03

Contrary to popular belief, California is not a 1-mile-wide strip on the beach; there's valleys and mountains and plenty of reason to light a fire in the winter.

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The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 491

You deserved it 78

Today, I brought my best friend home and told my dad we were going to study together. He loudly replied "Woah!", stumbled around for a few seconds like he was drunk, then apologized and said the "sheer amount of gayness" between us had overloaded his gaydar. We're not gay, dammit! FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 755

You deserved it 3 574

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 42 647

You deserved it 5 813

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I agree, your life sucks 74 233

You deserved it 3 787

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I agree, your life sucks 628

You deserved it 437

Today, I found out that the electric nose hair clippers that I've been using for the past two years are in fact my father's pubic hair trimmers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 713

You deserved it 16 994

Today, as I arrived at my house after a two week holiday, I opened the door and heard footsteps upstairs. I went up and found my boyfriend naked in bed. We had great sex. Afterwards I found my best friend naked in the wardrobe. Turns out they'd also had great sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 284

You deserved it 5 222

Today, while looking at engagement rings online, I started crying. Not because I'm getting married, but because the only proposal scenario my mind could concoct always ended with my boyfriend saying, "SIKE!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 309

You deserved it 455