Health: Today, my knee was dislocated. At a haunted house. By a midget.... - FML

By Chance115 - 11/09/2018 23:30

Today, my knee was dislocated. At a haunted house. By a midget. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 646

You deserved it 299

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Same thing different taste

By insomnitude - 05/03/2011 06:55 - United States

Today, I got mugged by a midget. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 768

You deserved it 13 803

By Anonymous - 21/10/2010 21:44 - Canada

Today, l was crouched on the ground in the doorway at a haunted mansion. It's part of my job here to scare the people passing by. A 12 year-old girl walked by, I grabbed her leg, and she kicked me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 977

You deserved it 41 803

Stuck

By Anonymous - 10/12/2009 11:47 - United Kingdom

Today, I found myself locked out of my house. I had to squeeze myself through a tiny window around the back. While hanging upside down, my hood fell over my head. My dog ran through to investigate the noise and ravaged me thinking I was a burglar. I then fell and broke my wrist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 347

You deserved it 5 231

By Anthony Hathaway - 19/10/2018 13:30

Today, as I was taking the garbage out, I tripped over my own feet, causing my knee to dislocate in such a way that it shattered the back of my kneecap and fractured my femur. I guess I won't be taking the garbage out again anytime soon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 941

You deserved it 210

By Anonymous - 24/10/2009 00:40 - United States

Today, I was working a haunted house. I have a really good spot where I hide and scare people. This really hot guy was walking up, and I jumped out and screamed. He punched me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 532

You deserved it 7 391

By Anonymous - 19/11/2017 01:30

Today, I actually slipped on a banana peel, cartoon-style, breaking my kneecap and dislocating my hip. I will never hear the end of this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 116

You deserved it 358

By knee pain - 09/12/2013 19:17 - United States

Today, I woke up in my hospital bed after having knee surgery, on the wrong knee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 083

You deserved it 4 033

That had to hurt

By SnappyMcOuches - 19/09/2018 14:00

Today, I found out that I not only dislocated two bones in my foot, but also fractured one of those two bones and snapped the other. How did this happen? I tripped over a single stair walking from the bar to the beer garden. I didn't even get to drink anything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 677

You deserved it 313

By Anonymous - 05/02/2010 08:23 - France

Today, I was working as a clown (Pennywise) in a haunted maze. A bunch of drunk guys came in and started breaking props. I decided to stay still and follow through with the scare. I ended up getting kicked in a very sensitive area. The security guard just laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 895

You deserved it 4 359

By frenchy - 06/02/2009 00:55 - United States

Today, my friends and I go to a bar and get wasted. I walk around and see a kid. I start yelling, "There's a child in this bar! There's a CHILD in this BAR!" She turns around. She was a midget. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 125

You deserved it 55 431

Next

Top comments

Leeono 26

Sunday 2 September 2018 9:52

Low blow man, low blow.

RichardPencil 30

Tuesday 11 September 2018 23:48

We don’t use that word anymore! It’s “little person,” you ret...*404: Page not found*

Comments

Leeono 26

Sunday 2 September 2018 9:52

Low blow man, low blow.

RichardPencil 30

Tuesday 11 September 2018 23:48

We don’t use that word anymore! It’s “little person,” you ret...*404: Page not found*

pjsr 32

Wednesday 12 September 2018 0:10

That’s a little scary

Taurus_ChicKa 36

Wednesday 12 September 2018 1:17

Who gets the short end of the stick now?! You do!

Warmonger_Smurf 29

Wednesday 12 September 2018 1:18

100% YDI! Seriously, it’s not even mid-September. Stop premature holiday decorating!!

Cali 54

Wednesday 12 September 2018 17:01

Are you joking or serious? There are tons of year-round haunted houses.

Cody Vertigo Bonthoux 15

Wednesday 12 September 2018 6:12

the shortest ghosts are always the angriest

skippydoda 32

Wednesday 12 September 2018 8:39

Details are needed

carlgrimes47 13

Wednesday 12 September 2018 10:45

You've gone and pissed off Chucky

noodle6 5

Wednesday 12 September 2018 20:34

Today in things that didn't happen. There's no haunted houses in September, way to lie for attention.

whyisitincapital 25

Thursday 13 September 2018 2:25

They have the gift of precognition; they were able to tell you were going to refer to them as a 'midget' instead of more PC terms, hence why they dislocated your knee.

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The Top

Today, I was riding on the back of my dad's motorcycle. After a few minutes, the vibrations from the engine became way too much for me and I couldn't control myself. I had such an intense orgasm, sitting right behind my father, with my arms around his waist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 92 791

You deserved it 16 307

Today, I went to a corner store to restock my chocolate stash. A guy from work walked in to see me and the cashier arguing about the amount of candy I was trying to buy with a jar of pennies. He took one look at me and said, "That time of the month, eh?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 739

You deserved it 27 156

The Top

Today, I had to console my drunk dad over his girlfriend breaking up with him. When he said, "You know why we broke up don't you?" I replied, "Yeah, you were fighting a lot, right?" Wrong. I then had to explain to him that his erectile dysfunction wasn't something to be embarrassed about. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 323

You deserved it 3 510

Today, a guy attacked me and tried to steal my bag. I tried to defend myself by biting him as hard as I could. I then woke up to my husband screaming in pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 659

You deserved it 4 495

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I agree, your life sucks 643

You deserved it 90

Today, I met my new upstairs neighbors. They have a four-month-old child and appear to be firm believers in the "let them cry it out" philosophy. The baby's room is right above mine. A few days of trying to sleep through this shit and I'll look like a Walking Dead extra. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 532

You deserved it 1 575

Today, I won 10,555 dollars on scratch cards! My sister got me to do a happy dance and filmed it. The video is on facebook and the tickets were fake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 258

You deserved it 7 983

Today, I drew a face on a balloon and pretended to make out with it. The balloon popped and shot to the back of my throat, where it got caught. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 801

You deserved it 71 716