Intimacy: Today, my father pulled me aside right before heading off to...

By condom_kid - 27/07/2009 14:34 - United States

Today, my father pulled me aside right before heading off to my girlfriend's house. He said "Next time you have sex, don't leave the tied up condom in its wrapper inside your short's pocket, otherwise your mother might find it again as she's folding laundry." FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 414

You deserved it 73 558

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Same thing different taste

By killercow - 19/04/2011 16:19 - United States

Today, I walked into the laundry room when my mom pulled a condom wrapper out of my pants pocket. She looked at me and said, "You know you can't wash and reuse these?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 225

You deserved it 22 993

Rushed

By Anonymous - 31/05/2012 20:53 - Canada - Courtenay

Today, in a rush to get my clothes back on at my girlfriend's house at the sound of her parents opening the front door, I forgot to take the condom off. Her dad watched it fall out of my pant leg and onto the kitchen floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 660

You deserved it 44 682

Missing

By Anon - 04/08/2013 05:36 - Australia - Perth

Today, my girlfriend's dad pulled out the chocolate-flavoured condom that went missing under the couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 644

You deserved it 20 277

By dpl - 19/02/2009 21:44 - United States

Today, my mom found a condom in my pocket while doing my laundry. Instead of having the subsequent discussion about the birds and the bees my mother simply asked "Who would have sex with you?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 570

You deserved it 5 629

By Anonymous - 09/11/2011 12:55 - Australia

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. My mum walked in and told him to pull out and show her that he was wearing a condom, and not just saying he was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 402

You deserved it 9 309

By Anonymous - 15/07/2009 00:37 - United States

Today, while at my boyfriend's house waiting for him to shower, his mother slams a pair of underwear on the table and tells me that if she ever finds something like that in her son's room again, she is forbidding him from seeing me. The underwear isn't mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 759

You deserved it 2 620

By innocent - 06/01/2015 03:11 - United States

Today, my father seems to be having an affair. A used condom was carelessly left on his nightstand and my mother found it. She refuses to believe that my boyfriend and I are not responsible. As punishment I am "no longer allowed to see him." We're both 22 and live together in our own apartment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 063

You deserved it 3 339

By Anonymous - 05/08/2011 22:57 - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend admitted that on his last visit, he snuck into the laundry and stole a lacy black thong he assumed was mine. It wasn't. It was my dad's. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 737

You deserved it 3 883

By my honest father - 10/07/2013 16:33 - United States - Kansas City

Today, while having a serious talk with my father, he said, "Son, you're only alive because of a faulty, off-brand condom." FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 055

You deserved it 3 747

By Anonymous - 01/03/2011 16:21 - United States

Today, me and my girlfriend were getting at it, and then my parents came home. I heard them and we scrambled to get our clothes on. My dad came into the room and found me wearing her pants inside out with her thong around my legs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 033

You deserved it 45 821

cherrybollosm04 0

Monday 27 July 2009 20:03

YDI be more sanitary

shewasalmost18 0

Monday 27 July 2009 20:08

uhh in your pocket? did you want a souvenir?

Comments

shewasalmost18 0

Monday 27 July 2009 20:08

uhh in your pocket? did you want a souvenir?

Phillay632 0

Tuesday 28 July 2009 2:33

**** yeah! Scrapbook it!

Shaylex 0

Monday 27 July 2009 20:12

That's really gross. Who keeps a used condom in their shorts pocket? Yuck. YDI.

z0mb130v3rl0rd 0

Monday 27 July 2009 20:20

LMFAO. Made my whole day XD

heygirlheyyyyy 0

Monday 27 July 2009 20:20

that's the most disgusting thing i've ever heard... leaving gum in your pocket is one thing.... but a USED CONDOM?! Why in the hell would you keep that?

skitzymew 19

Wednesday 8 October 2014 10:23

Sounds like he forgot it was there, rather than actually wanting to keep it. Who would want to do that?

ithoughtuwasdead 0

Monday 27 July 2009 20:23

That's sick hahahaha

razzumfrazzum 0

Monday 27 July 2009 20:26

While that does suck, I'd say your dad is pretty kool for not spazn on you. To everybody that doesn't get why he'd have a used condom in his pocket. Ever have sex in a car or any other place where a trash can or toilet is inaccessible? In that type of situation your only feasible option, other than littering, is to tie up the condom, stuff it back into its wrapper, and put it in your pocket to throw away when you find a trash can. The OP just forgot it was in his pocket.

skullbuster 0

Monday 27 July 2009 22:36

Oh - now we're going to bash litterers now? Well la-dee-dah!

razzumfrazzum 0

Tuesday 28 July 2009 2:28

lol I wasn't bashing litterers that was just the only other example I could think of at the moment :D

cyberotter 0

Monday 15 February 2010 6:45

agreed op's dad ftw

girliestgirly 0

Monday 27 July 2009 20:26

epic ahahahah

4ube_fml 6

Monday 27 July 2009 20:28

I understand you can take your condom in your pocket because you can't throw it away, but to keep it untill you take your shorts off, put them to be washed, dryed and folded, that's too long. YDI