Miscellaneous: Today, my dad woke me up by shaking me and saying "If you're...

By Singed - 04/07/2009 17:31 - United States

Today, my dad woke me up by shaking me and saying "If you're not up in two minutes, I'm lighting a firecracker in your room." Thinking he wouldn't possibly set off a firecracker in the house, much less my room, I decided to call his bluff. My room still smells like gunpowder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 361

You deserved it 43 624

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

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Same thing different taste

You're in the army now, oh ohoh

By Anonymous - 01/07/2020 17:03

Today, my dad set the smoke alarm off at 6 a.m. as a "practice drill." I was woken up so suddenly, I fell out of bed into the bucket of sick I had been throwing up into the night before due to flu. Dad yelled at me for not getting out of the house in time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 659

You deserved it 146

By Anonymous - 11/01/2015 08:44

Today, my brother woke me up by trying to light my bed on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 936

You deserved it 2 839

Single shot

By irulan - 14/01/2020 03:00 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I farted so loudly in bed and I woke up my husband. Startled, he thought that someone was entered in our room and fired a shot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 533

You deserved it 595

By ILiveWithMorons - 12/04/2011 03:07 - United States

Today, my dad set my hair on fire while cooking. He then tried to convince me that it spontaneously combusted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 389

You deserved it 3 342

By Anonymous - 08/08/2015 05:18 - Canada

Today, I witnessed my dad wake himself from a nap with his own fart and start panicking in confusion. I guess I shouldn't have broken down laughing, because he demanded to know what I did to him. He didn't believe the truth and bitched me out for screwing around. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 541

You deserved it 2 153

By Bacon0426 - 04/07/2016 21:03 - United States - Skaneateles

Today, in honor of America's birthday, my 50-year-old father decided to light off homemade bombs without telling anyone. The screams of me and my family members were louder than the bombs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 766

You deserved it 1 113

By Anonymous - 30/08/2015 15:44 - United States

Today, while I was pulling weeds, my dad thought it would be absolutely hilarious to yell "Hey, son!" then unload his gun at me when I turned around. After I'd screamed like a bitch and pissed myself, he broke down into hysterical laughter and said he'd loaded the gun with blanks. Fuck you, dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 558

You deserved it 2 552

By Mel - 07/05/2011 22:27 - United States

Today, my fire alarm startled me so badly that I shit myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 961

You deserved it 12 958

By ericane27 - 27/12/2011 19:53 - United States

Today, I woke up to someone screaming "FIRE!" When I sat up, my face went right into my room-mate's ballsack. Apparently it was funny. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 360

You deserved it 5 852

By gengiskarn69 - 12/03/2012 14:55 - United States

Today, I thought it would be funny to sneak up on my dad while he was rummaging through his briefcase. He must have heard me, because the moment I got up close, he whirled around and yelled "BOO!" causing me to scream like a little bitch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 974

You deserved it 38 661

Essentials 0

Saturday 4 July 2009 23:11

Perhaps you should listen to your father in the future eh? Next time he might stick it somewhere else.

AshleyRose784 0

Saturday 4 July 2009 23:11

wow, your dad is officially nuts

Comments

HondaGirl2010 0

Sunday 5 July 2009 1:12

Hmm.. This is both a FYL and a YDI. Your life is effed because your dad seems a little nuts. YDI though because you didn't listen to his earning. =/

moopmopmoop 0

Sunday 5 July 2009 1:14

thats awesome!

swimdudeno1 0

Sunday 5 July 2009 1:15

Your dad is tight!

troubleprone 0

Sunday 5 July 2009 1:23

FYL for being such a baby Gunpowder smells pretty hardcore if you ask me

midnighthammers 0

Sunday 5 July 2009 1:26

This is the worst FML to make it on the site. Who's moderating these now adays?

Nick402 0

Sunday 5 July 2009 1:31

Your dad is badass. All the people who say her dad is an asshole need to lighten up.

009yp 0

Sunday 5 July 2009 1:35

aahhh u gota love da 4th of july

aback 4

Sunday 5 July 2009 1:36

Just sayin--when the old bastard says you've got 2 weeks to find a job or move out or else he's shoving a 12-gauge up your ass and filling you with buckshot--listen to him.