Today, my cockgoblin of an ex showed up at my house, begging me to take him back. This guy, with his friends' help, faked being kidnapped just so he could use the "trauma" to guilt me into sleeping with him after he "escaped". When he finally left, he yelled that I'm a selfish bitch. FML

By SariLone - / Sunday 19 May 2013 18:02 / India - Mumbai
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  syley  |  5

Tiger Woods the rapist sounds like a perfect solution for him. Then he'll have true trauma to complain about!

  rg350dx  |  29

The friends of OP's ex take the cake for probably the best wingmen of all time. Faking a kidnapping to help get your buddy laid? That's fucking commitment right there.

By  summerguy97  |  16

Get him kidnapped for real!

By  niallo  |  23

This should be an easy one. It's got all the hallmarks of an abusive relationship written all over it. So I think " Fuckoff And Die" should come close to an appropriate response.

  AngelSpit  |  18

Every time I talk to my one ex (we're actually really good friends) I answer the phone with "how's it going my chode guzzling knob goblin" but my absolute faves are "analy regurgitated come bubble" and "twat waffle"

By  denden_mushi  |  10

I'm surprised that he was able to get away with that. I don't know whether this is an fml for you for having a crazy ex who would go this far or sex or a you deserve it for falling for a plan so stupid. I'm going with the latter.

  denden_mushi  |  10

If you know your ex is crazy and he comes one day with this plan, would you honestly have sex with him?

  flockz  |  19

nope new porn series. Spiderman: Return of the Cockgoblin in a world where a menace roams the streets in search of young virgins to thrust his evil into, a hero must erectify. spiderman must protect these virgins and find the place where he has to park his peter in order to save humanity.

By  Original_Outcast  |  23

Clockgoblin, well that's a new one.

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