Geek: Today, my brother admitted that he decides whether he will date...

By Discouraged - 06/01/2015 20:36 - Canada - Newmarket

Today, my brother admitted that he decides whether he will date a girl or not based on the number of likes she gets on her selfies. We share the same blood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 629

You deserved it 3 508

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Same thing different taste

Classy.

By klifestyle2012 - 12/11/2017 19:00

Today, I came home to find my brother making out with my girlfriend while taking a selfie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 127

You deserved it 330

By Anonymous - 01/11/2011 16:18 - United States

Today, on a dating site, I was matched with my brother, again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 360

You deserved it 5 980

Lookalikes

By Anonymous - 31/03/2021 13:58 - Germany - Bruchsal

Today, my boyfriend told me that his daughter only liked me because she thought that we look like siblings. FML

I agree, your life sucks 757

You deserved it 89

My brother the Gigachad

By Anonymous - 15/02/2022 06:01

Today, I thought my date last night went quite well, especially when she called me first thing this morning… until it turned out she wasn’t very impressed, and wanted my brother's number instead. The single, successful lawyer, who is 6 inches taller than me, who she saw on my Facebook page. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 297

You deserved it 114

By Anonymous - 16/01/2012 16:10 - United States

Today, I realized my self confidence is based on the amount of "likes" I have on my Facebook statuses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 340

You deserved it 38 397

By Anonymous - 25/10/2015 02:33 - United States - North Little Rock

Today, my brother's recent creepy behavior suddenly made sense when I found "How to seduce your sister?" in his browser search history. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 589

You deserved it 2 067

Mixed signals

By max - 07/02/2009 23:33 - United States

Today, I thought I was going on a date. About 20 minutes into it, after giving her my arm to hold (like a true gentleman) it came up in conversation that my brother is gay. Her response: "Oh, so both you and your brother are gay?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 424

You deserved it 2 960

By tramp - 10/11/2013 05:51 - United States

Today, I met my brother's girlfriend. We got talking, and we got onto the subject of tattoos. I said how much I hated tramp stamps, and how they make girls look trashy. She said, "Like this?" and showed me hers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 316

You deserved it 19 635

By Discouraged - 31/05/2012 12:43 - United States - Rockville

Today, my little brother got his crush to go out with him by impressing her with his level 500 FarmVille. This is the next generation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 931

You deserved it 2 647

By Flip - 02/05/2012 05:06 - France

Today, to avoid looking like a loser in front of his friends who all have girlfriends, my brother made up a perfect relationship. He asked me to give him a hickey in exchange for 50 euros. Our parents walked in on us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 809

You deserved it 58 515

ElMachoNacho 18

Wednesday 7 January 2015 0:06

And he will probably never find that perfect girl, and he will bother you forever :D

carecow 16

Wednesday 7 January 2015 0:07

I guess your brother aint much of a personality fan, sorry to hear that.

Comments

GreekYogurt 26

Saturday 15 August 2015 0:12

As long as you're morals are intact, you shouldn't be ashamed.

blackjackandcoke 9

Saturday 30 April 2016 0:57

Not for nothing OP, but your brother sounds like a vapid asshole.

band13geek 16

Friday 13 May 2016 3:37

For your sake, OP, I'm hoping that he's either joking or adopted.

KupKate95 9

Thursday 10 November 2016 4:40

I'm so glad my brother isn't that shallow.

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I learned that dirty talk does NOT get me off. My boyfriend and I were having sex and I said, "I'm going to come" during the beginning of my orgasm. My orgasm immediately stopped right after I said that. I'd managed to turn myself off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 338

You deserved it 15 971

Today, I tried to nicely talk to my daughter about her rapid weight gain. Having a family history of weight-related illness, I felt it was necessary. I offered to get thyroid tests, teach her to buy healthy food, and start routine exercise. She told everyone I called her a cow and had fat-shamed her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 883

You deserved it 192

The Top

Today, I hooked up with a man for the first time since my divorce. The sex was mind-blowing. His pillow talk then began with something like, “A cabal of Hollywood celebrities and political insiders want to rape your children…” I’m so dry now, I think I hit menopause. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 802

You deserved it 375

Today, my boyfriend and I were out shopping. As he was trying on shirts, I told him that the particular shirt he was wearing looked ugly. He turned around, sighed, and said "You think? Well, your face is ugly, but you don't see me complaining about it." He was serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 960

You deserved it 10 355

Today, I was cuddling with my boyfriend and told him how smitten I was with him. He responded by giving me a wedgie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 187

You deserved it 7 089

Today, I was taking a lifeguard certification test. I nearly drowned halfway through. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 851

You deserved it 22 317

Today, during foreplay, my husband asked if I found him sexually attractive. When I asked him back, after a yes, he was silent for two minutes then went into a ten-minute philosophical discussion on the nature of attractiveness. He would find me more attractive if I wasn't his wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 676

You deserved it 320

Today, I took my new boyfriend's virginity about 10 minutes ago. He kept whispering, "It’s inside you, it’s actually inside you… feels kind of sticky, slippery, it’s actually inside you I can’t believe it.” It was super off-putting and a bit creepy. And no, I definitely did not orgasm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 379

You deserved it 221