Love: Today, my boyfriend told me, with complete confidence, that he's... - FML

By drugdealersgf - 02/12/2016 06:55

Today, my boyfriend told me, with complete confidence, that he's selected "drug dealer" as his career of choice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 126

You deserved it 1 120

May Day: Lily of the Valley and Misunderstandings
When lilies of the valley bring good luck... or not! Discover the stories behind every little bell! More…

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Same thing different taste

By Bnewlove - 31/07/2013 04:50 - Canada - Surrey

Today, my boyfriend suggested that we become "drug dealers" because I'm a chemistry student and he's seen a few episodes of Breaking Bad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 091

You deserved it 5 265

By Anonymous - 10/04/2012 20:57 - United States - Muskegon

Today, my boyfriend decided that he didn't need a real job. He wants to sell pot for a living. Or hang drywall. He can't decide. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 338

You deserved it 6 716

By GetOutOfMyHouseLoser - 08/12/2013 23:44 - United States

Today, my unemployed scumbag boyfriend sold a painting I had just bought so he could buy phoney drugs that he told me he had quit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 800

You deserved it 17 277

By hopeless - 06/07/2012 05:46 - United States

Today, I found out that the only reason my boyfriend got a job was so that he could buy weed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 833

You deserved it 7 006

By Jean - 22/12/2011 08:09 - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend told me love is like a drug. I started tearing up because this is the most romantic he has been in a while. He then went on to break up with me, telling me that my "prescription is up". FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 245

You deserved it 3 663

I'm not worthy

By dracer - 04/02/2010 02:17 - United States

Today, my boyfriend of three years who I helped through drug rehab and find employment in my office left me for someone else. His explanation was that now that his "head is not clouded with chemicals" and he "makes decent money", he wants to settle down with someone worthy of him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 992

You deserved it 3 970

Money first

By Anonymus - 31/01/2020 20:00 - Canada - Warkworth

Today, my "boyfriend" told me that he loves money more than me and would date it if he could. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 910

You deserved it 322

By WTF - 15/10/2015 04:43 - United States - Bloomington

Today, I was dumped by my girlfriend because she wanted to be with a man who has an income and a stable career. We are seniors in college and I accepted a really good job offer which I start once I graduate, which she knows about. She dumped me for a drug dealer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 011

You deserved it 2 168

Gobble gobble

By Anonymous - 04/08/2021 00:01

Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend why he shouldn't take drugs from strangers. I'm 35 and he's 34. FML

I agree, your life sucks 761

You deserved it 133

By explanations - 14/06/2013 06:48 - United States - Des Plaines

Today, after dating for almost a year, I decided to introduce my parents to the man I was sure I'd fallen in love with. When dad saw him, his and my boyfriend's face completely dropped. I asked them what was wrong because I could feel the discomfort. Turns out, I'm dating my dad's drug dealer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 80 626

You deserved it 7 933

Next

Top comments

Tripartita 44

Monday 5 December 2016 5:09

Normally I'd make a joke, but I'm willing to sell him a totally legit looking drug dealer license for only a couple payments of $989. You aren't going to find prices to beat that, OP. It will need to be renewed. Weekly.

potatocouch 16

Monday 5 December 2016 5:06

It troubles me that he doesn't want to pick a more stable career, like "testing" the drugs.

Comments

sunshineandroses 9

Monday 5 December 2016 19:47

Tell him you've selected "single" as a relationship status.

corn_flake 19

Monday 5 December 2016 19:58

Being a professional drug dealer takes quite a bit of schooling. Being a pharmacist is harder than it looks!

brick0 11

Monday 5 December 2016 22:26

Yeah pharmacist

jessicasoho 13

Monday 5 December 2016 22:42

Pharmaceuticals is a good career choice lol.

great_nate 24

Tuesday 6 December 2016 0:52

And you selected him.

luze_fml 0

Tuesday 6 December 2016 3:01

Your boyfriend is an idiot.

DanielleinDC 33

Wednesday 7 December 2016 19:59

Unless he's joking and wants to be a pharmacist, you need to dump the guy.

UpUpUpUrs 6

Saturday 10 December 2016 3:30

Was he binge watching breaking bad or the wire?

Dominus101 20

Wednesday 21 December 2016 3:06

He's been watching too much breaking bad

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The Top

Today, I was having sexy time with my girlfriend when she said she needed to pee. She came back 5 minutes later and started talking about how she hasn't seen her best friend in ages and misses her. Needless to say, I couldn't get the man downstairs back up when we continued. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 074

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Today, I learned that dirty talk does NOT get me off. My boyfriend and I were having sex and I said, "I'm going to come" during the beginning of my orgasm. My orgasm immediately stopped right after I said that. I'd managed to turn myself off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 337

You deserved it 15 970

The Top

Today, I was dismissed from my job for my poor absence record. I'd not received any formal warnings, and was dismissed on the spot. My absences were because of my disability. He didn't even ask for medical records. FML

I agree, your life sucks 994

You deserved it 139

Today, my grandpa told me that he and grandma had an open relationship, because, "it isn't satisfying to have sexuality with only one person your whole life.” According to grandma, he just cheated on her constantly and she couldn’t do anything to stop him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 028

You deserved it 138

Today, marks the third month that I have not received payment for work I did on web pages for a hospital chain. They owe me over $1,000. It will cost twice that to get a lawyer to force them to pay me what I'm owed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 777

You deserved it 358

Today, I had to pretend to give birth in a play. I wanted to make it a realistic as possible but ended up crapping myself on stage by accident. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 170

You deserved it 29 811

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I agree, your life sucks 273

You deserved it 446

Today, my fiance's divorce was finalized and we went out to dinner to celebrate. I stepped away to use the bathroom, then came back to a note on the table saying, "I'm going to enjoy single life, thanks!" He left me with the bill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 194

You deserved it 525