So is there a reasonable explanation as to why it's a problem that he's living with 2 women? Or is it simply because they possess vaginas? I assure you that vaginas aren't magical commodities that men can't resist sticking their dicks in if they are in the vicinity of one without their girlfriend there to stop them. I'm sure it makes your boyfriend very happy that you are so trusting and think so highly of him, especially after such a long time

Three's company

I can see why living with more people would cut down bill costs etc, couldn't he have asked you to live there too? Means one more person cutting costs and you would be living together, just with other people ;)

I'm confused why you've kept dating a guy for 8 years who lives with his parents. One thing I'm learning as I go along is that sometimes you gotta cut those types loose so they can focus on themselves and get to a better financial position independently. Unless you guys were 10 years old when you started dating and he's now 18. In which case, maybe branch out and see what other boys are like.

I feel a crucial part of this story is missing: where do YOU come in? Why exactly didn't you and him move in together somewhere, what can/can't YOU afford? Is it perhaps because you're both early-mid 20's, he's only been working for two years and you're still studying/have no income, so he can't support the both of you? It's entirely possible that he can't afford to live on his own, but living with two other people means it'll only cost him 1/3 of the full price. Also, sharing a house/apartment with roommates of another gender doesn't mean he'll inevitably end up cheating on you. It might help a lot if you just get to know his roommates and see for yourself if you can trust them.

Unless he is like 18 years old I think the living with his parents for the last eight years instead of living with OP should be the red flag here.

well maybe he can split the rent 3 ways but not 2

Hi OP here. Just to clarify a few things: we are both 28 and I am currently living alone, so am more than capable of providing for myself financially. My boyfriend has lived on his own before but moved back in with his parents three years ago to save money. I was away for a work training event when my boyfriend text me telling me that a new hire at his work was struggling financially and needed a new housemate, so he'd be moving in with her at the end of the week. This upset me for two reasons, firstly he has continually told me he couldn't live with women as "they're too high maintenance", and secondly he jumped at the chance to move out when someone he'd known for less than 48 hours asked but made excuses when I asked. As it is he's currently paying more in rent, bills etc. than he would have if he moved in with me, so saving money has nothing to do with it. It also greatly upset me that there was no discussion, and that he didn't take my feelings into account, nor does he think he's done anything wrong. I trust him completely, so I'm not worried about him cheating, however his housemates are quite unwelcoming and have told my boyfriend that they don't want him having guests over to stay. I'll admit that I've been more emotionally needy over the past two years, due to the loss of both my sister and nephew, so perhaps this is why he doesn't want to move in with me. I am now at the stage where I doubt he's going to ever change and need to decide whether I want to continue down this path, however for the time being I don't feel ready to lose another person in my life. Thanks for the all kind messages and support!

The "boyfriend of 8 years" is what raises a big red flag with me. After 8 years you aren't dating any more. You are either friends our spouses. The dating period ended long ago. Heck, if you did live together, depending where you live you could actually be considered legally married via common law.

It sounds like he just doesn't want to live with you for whatever reason. Maybe you are a bitch, or a nit-picker. 8 years is an awful long time to be with someone and not live together. It seems like a lack of commitment. Maybe it is time to move on. How could you ever get married if you never know if you can handle living together? Sorry for your losses. That has to be tough, but it has been two years. You can't let that control your life. Good luck.