Love: Today, my boyfriend informed me that sharing a bed with me was... - FML

By meow - 14/01/2010 04:27 - United States

Today, my boyfriend informed me that sharing a bed with me was like sleeping with a seizing cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 760

You deserved it 4 492

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Same thing different taste

Thrashing

By bad sleeper - 19/05/2021 08:00 - United States

Today, I asked my boyfriend why he never wants to sleepover anymore. He said he loves me, but that sleeping next to me is like sleeping next to someone reenacting the crucifixion while being mauled to death by squirrels. So much for cuddling through the night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 891

You deserved it 205

Hold me close

By chachi - 28/09/2009 18:25 - United States

Today, I awoke in bed with my boyfriend and his dog. After some pushing and prodding, I thought my boyfriend was trying to move the dog out of the way to cuddle with me. It turns out, he was moving the dog closer to him. My boyfriend would rather spoon with his dog than me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 119

You deserved it 6 746

By Anonymous - 06/08/2009 11:11 - United States

Today, I found out my boyfriend stacks things on me while I sleep. Apparently his record is 4 pillows, a textbook, and the cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 97 901

You deserved it 22 973

By Brinty - 16/09/2009 02:43 - Australia

Today, I was napping with my boyfriend and his dog. The dog was making odd coughing noises, but my boyfriend refused to kick him out of the bed. A few moments later, I rolled onto my stomach, into a pile of dog vomit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 679

You deserved it 4 556

Don't make me choose

By Ames - 23/05/2009 16:07 - United States

Today, after being diagnosed with cat allergies, I explained to my cat-loving boyfriend that the doctor strongly recommended not allowing the cat in the bedroom. At 1:30 a.m. my boyfriend got out of the bed to go sleep in the spare room because, "the cat is sad." FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 668

You deserved it 9 049

Bed of nails

By JoanT - 31/08/2020 20:01 - United States - Kailua Kona

Today, my boyfriend’s bed is so uncomfortable that even after six months of not seeing him, I’m sleeping on the floor so I can actually get some sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 224

You deserved it 187

By Carowl - 05/08/2015 02:33

Today, my boyfriend told me he doesn't like cuddling in bed because he hates rebreathing his own carbon dioxide. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 213

You deserved it 2 904

By Anonymous - 31/08/2013 20:52 - Norway - Nesoddtangen

Today, I had an asthma attack while in bed with my boyfriend. He interrupted my desperate coughing only to tell me to shut up. He then rolled over to go back to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 922

You deserved it 4 011

By laundry day again... - 08/09/2013 13:07 - United States

Today, I discovered that my boyfriend, who has frequent night terrors, also sleepwalks. And apparently sleep-pisses on the bathroom rug. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 723

You deserved it 3 536

By nenette - 12/11/2014 22:50 - France

Today, as my kitten was sleeping on my lap, my boyfriend crept up on us and yelled, "BOO!" to make me jump. I wasn't scared, but the cat was. He tensed up and jumped to the floor. He also apparently had the runny shits, spraying me and the couch on his way down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 737

You deserved it 3 577

Next

Top comments

Mortgaged 0

Thursday 14 January 2010 10:44

That's funny! Hurtful but funny. I am the same way. I'm a thrasher. Maybe you should consider a sleep number bed?

CallMeHush 0

Thursday 14 January 2010 10:14

Well me and the rest of the football team did try to warn him...

Comments

naneppi 0

Thursday 14 January 2010 19:35

Well cats are adorable.

13thstory 0

Thursday 14 January 2010 21:57

YDI #19, don't you speak English?

quietlytearful 0

Thursday 14 January 2010 22:29

oh calm down, you oversensitive idiot. he was joking. lots of people move around when they are asleep, it's not a big deal

pjfromok 0

Thursday 14 January 2010 22:59

Well meow baby, come seize in my bed!!!

Ninjaface 0

Friday 15 January 2010 1:13

It's a compliment. Most girls think they can just lie there and make the guy to all the work, so I'm sure he's quite happy to have found one that gives him a good ride.

TheOtherNewest1 6

Friday 15 January 2010 5:19

Maybe you should get rid of your epileptic cat?

omgtooweird 0

Friday 15 January 2010 6:01

haha....ur boyfriend is funny.

travel23 0

Friday 15 January 2010 9:44

not funny at all

airtimewhXre 5

Friday 15 January 2010 10:02

lol, that sounds like something my bf would say to me.. in fact, that sounds like something i'd say about myself. i am a horribly active sleeper lol

The_Disturbed 5

Friday 15 January 2010 12:50

Haha that's brilliant. FYL OP, just be thankful he's not overactive in his sleep. I know someone who randomly punches in their sleep. Gave his girlfriend a black eye one night. Good thing is, she forgave him. lol.

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I brought my best friend home and told my dad we were going to study together. He loudly replied "Woah!", stumbled around for a few seconds like he was drunk, then apologized and said the "sheer amount of gayness" between us had overloaded his gaydar. We're not gay, dammit! FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 755

You deserved it 3 574

Today, I went to a corner store to restock my chocolate stash. A guy from work walked in to see me and the cashier arguing about the amount of candy I was trying to buy with a jar of pennies. He took one look at me and said, "That time of the month, eh?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 739

You deserved it 27 156

The Top

Today, as a bridal shower gift, I got a "coupon" for 25% off divorce attorney fees. It was a collective gift. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 299

You deserved it 4 010

Today, I was having a playful fight with my brother. I made the point that our dog likes me better than him. To this, my dog jumped onto the sofa, turned to me and vomited on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 058

You deserved it 8 497

Today, I walked into the kitchen to find my daughter trying to cut her wrist with a plastic spoon. When I asked her why, she said her friend Lucy did that so her parents would buy her pretty things. My daughter and Lucy are both four years old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 165

You deserved it 3 758

Today, as I left my house, the front door slammed shut behind me, causing an entire roof-length of snow to slide over the edge and land directly on my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 143

You deserved it 5 772

Today, at work, I had to analyze timecards data and generate a report on the least billed / occupied people at work. I found myself at the bottom. I sent it to my boss too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 703

You deserved it 169

Today, my fiancé pawned off my engagement ring so he could buy himself a PS4. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 629

You deserved it 4 896