Health: Today, my boyfriend had to be hospitalized to drain poison from...

By Anonymous - 02/01/2010 07:50 - United States

Today, my boyfriend had to be hospitalized to drain poison from a bad spider bite. His mom is convinced that he got it from my house and won't let him come over anymore. I suppose she's right, because guess who found a spider web under their bed today, along with 5 new spider bites? FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 031

You deserved it 4 687

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Same thing different taste

By Spooderman - 04/02/2016 02:04 - United States

Today, my son wanted to be Spiderman. He found the biggest spider he could outside and let it bite his hand. He's staying overnight in the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 808

You deserved it 2 473

I'm outta here

By Anonymous - 25/06/2022 16:00

Today, my boyfriend's recently mated tarantula disappeared from her enclosure with her egg sac, so she's now somewhere in the house with between 20 and 100 babies hatching within a week. I moved out this afternoon. My boyfriend caused this, he can damn well find her before I set foot in there again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 156

You deserved it 123

By Boyufd - 09/09/2018 03:30

Today, knowing that I have severe arachnophobia, my brother brought over his friend's tarantula. One hour later, the spider got loose. It's been 5 hours and I'm afraid to go to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 914

You deserved it 228

By Widowmaker - 28/11/2012 18:09 - United States - Henderson

Today, I'm recovering in the emergency room. How did I get here? Intoxicated at a coed party, I saw a hole in the host's shed and thought it funny to christen it a "glory-hole", only to be bitten by what may well have been a black widow spider. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 691

You deserved it 48 666

She definitely won though

By Anonymous - 24/08/2018 15:00

Today, as part of our prank war, my girlfriend found a hairy tarantula picture and stuck it on the wall. I hadn't yet told her I'm arachnophobic, and when I saw it I passed out and hit my head hard enough to need an ambulance. She decided she's won the war and I don't get a say in the matter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 640

You deserved it 798

Surrounded

By Alyce - 10/10/2020 17:01 - United States - Lewistown

Today, my significant other woke at 4:30 a.m. to me crying about a spider in the bathroom. I have an intense fear of spiders; he was super nice and took care of it for me. He even walked me out to my car. I started to calm down driving to work, but when I got there what do I see on the door handle but a spider. I'm still shaking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 938

You deserved it 434

By Anonymous - 29/03/2009 05:04 - United States

Today, I saw a spider in my bathtub, so instead of killing it, i decided to bring my dog inside the bathroom to kill the spider for me. Turns out that the spider was a black widow, and my dog was bit. The dog killed the spider. The spider killed my dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 90 153

You deserved it 185 593

By Anonymous - 19/06/2015 19:00 - United States

Today, I woke up to the sound of 4 gunshots from downstairs. I screamed, hid under the bed in tears and called the cops. Turned out my boyfriend hadn't been murdered by a burglar like I thought - he'd found a tarantula in our living room and decided to feed it a face full of lead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 970

You deserved it 3 756

By Anonymous - 28/03/2011 18:52 - Macedonia

Today, my boyfriend tried to cure me of my snake phobia by buying one. When he took it out of the cage, it bit him. Now he's terrified of them too. Even worse, he dropped the snake, so it's now loose in our house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 781

You deserved it 6 878

By spiderhater - 12/04/2009 18:11 - United States

Today, I was with my girlfriend in her room. She starts screaming. Her father bursts in and, thinking I'm some kind of rapist, hits me in the head with a baseball bat. Not bad enough? I wasn't the one making her scream. There was a huge spider on the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 106 781

You deserved it 5 319

Starfire22 5

Saturday 2 January 2010 16:09

You might want to consider cleaning your room more often...

Mirm83 0

Saturday 2 January 2010 20:16

I need to stop reading the comments. Spiderwebs can be spun overnight. The timing of the bites indicates that the spider had newly moved in. Who looks under the bed often enough to catch spiderwebs instantly? Getting rid of the web doesn't get rid of the spider, unless it's in it. Five bites does not equal five spiders. They aren't like bees, who sting and then die.

Comments

CrazyAssStories 0

Saturday 2 January 2010 20:08

how can ur brother be in the hospital one day and you sleep and wake up with all that crap on the same day?...

grshpr76 0

Saturday 2 January 2010 20:14

you cant just "extract" spider venom... if he had to go to the hospital, he's in for one wild ride that he will NOT be grateful for

Mirm83 0

Saturday 2 January 2010 20:16

zelly05 0

Saturday 2 January 2010 21:19

eww

me199 0

Saturday 2 January 2010 22:04

Who?

rachexl 0

Saturday 2 January 2010 22:04

how the **** could we guess? theres over 6 billion people in the world......

TheGuyOverThere 0

Sunday 3 January 2010 0:39

I lol'd at this ^

Ninjaface 0

Saturday 2 January 2010 22:31

His mom didn't forbid him from coming over because of a spider bite, but because she knows what he had to have been doing to get bit by the spider under your bed. If you had done it on the kitchen table this wouldn't have happened.

Cristaderzi 0

Saturday 2 January 2010 23:03

Ive had literally dozens of spiders in my riimm at one time and I've never once was bitten!! Maybe get you energy in check and maybe that won't happen!!

me5 0

Saturday 2 January 2010 23:20

WhoYour mother in law

pizzlerot 0

Sunday 3 January 2010 0:43

Most "spider bites" are actually staph or other skin infections - spiders rarely bite humans. The boyfriend could have been bitten by something awful like a brown recluse (if it actually is a spider bite), but chances are, the spiderwebs under the bed and the bites and the poster and her boyfriend are unrelated.