Health: Today, my boyfriend had to be hospitalized to drain poison from...

By Anonymous - 02/01/2010 07:50 - United States

Today, my boyfriend had to be hospitalized to drain poison from a bad spider bite. His mom is convinced that he got it from my house and won't let him come over anymore. I suppose she's right, because guess who found a spider web under their bed today, along with 5 new spider bites? FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 031

You deserved it 4 687

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Same thing different taste

By Spooderman - 04/02/2016 02:04 - United States

Today, my son wanted to be Spiderman. He found the biggest spider he could outside and let it bite his hand. He's staying overnight in the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 808

You deserved it 2 473

I'm outta here

By Anonymous - 25/06/2022 16:00

Today, my boyfriend's recently mated tarantula disappeared from her enclosure with her egg sac, so she's now somewhere in the house with between 20 and 100 babies hatching within a week. I moved out this afternoon. My boyfriend caused this, he can damn well find her before I set foot in there again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 156

You deserved it 123

By Boyufd - 09/09/2018 03:30

Today, knowing that I have severe arachnophobia, my brother brought over his friend's tarantula. One hour later, the spider got loose. It's been 5 hours and I'm afraid to go to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 914

You deserved it 228

By Widowmaker - 28/11/2012 18:09 - United States - Henderson

Today, I'm recovering in the emergency room. How did I get here? Intoxicated at a coed party, I saw a hole in the host's shed and thought it funny to christen it a "glory-hole", only to be bitten by what may well have been a black widow spider. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 690

You deserved it 48 665

She definitely won though

By Anonymous - 24/08/2018 15:00

Today, as part of our prank war, my girlfriend found a hairy tarantula picture and stuck it on the wall. I hadn't yet told her I'm arachnophobic, and when I saw it I passed out and hit my head hard enough to need an ambulance. She decided she's won the war and I don't get a say in the matter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 640

You deserved it 798

Surrounded

By Alyce - 10/10/2020 17:01 - United States - Lewistown

Today, my significant other woke at 4:30 a.m. to me crying about a spider in the bathroom. I have an intense fear of spiders; he was super nice and took care of it for me. He even walked me out to my car. I started to calm down driving to work, but when I got there what do I see on the door handle but a spider. I'm still shaking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 938

You deserved it 434

By Anonymous - 29/03/2009 05:04 - United States

Today, I saw a spider in my bathtub, so instead of killing it, i decided to bring my dog inside the bathroom to kill the spider for me. Turns out that the spider was a black widow, and my dog was bit. The dog killed the spider. The spider killed my dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 90 153

You deserved it 185 593

By Anonymous - 19/06/2015 19:00 - United States

Today, I woke up to the sound of 4 gunshots from downstairs. I screamed, hid under the bed in tears and called the cops. Turned out my boyfriend hadn't been murdered by a burglar like I thought - he'd found a tarantula in our living room and decided to feed it a face full of lead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 970

You deserved it 3 756

By Anonymous - 28/03/2011 18:52 - Macedonia

Today, my boyfriend tried to cure me of my snake phobia by buying one. When he took it out of the cage, it bit him. Now he's terrified of them too. Even worse, he dropped the snake, so it's now loose in our house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 781

You deserved it 6 878

By spiderhater - 12/04/2009 18:11 - United States

Today, I was with my girlfriend in her room. She starts screaming. Her father bursts in and, thinking I'm some kind of rapist, hits me in the head with a baseball bat. Not bad enough? I wasn't the one making her scream. There was a huge spider on the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 106 781

You deserved it 5 319

Starfire22 5

Saturday 2 January 2010 16:09

You might want to consider cleaning your room more often...

Mirm83 0

Saturday 2 January 2010 20:16

I need to stop reading the comments. Spiderwebs can be spun overnight. The timing of the bites indicates that the spider had newly moved in. Who looks under the bed often enough to catch spiderwebs instantly? Getting rid of the web doesn't get rid of the spider, unless it's in it. Five bites does not equal five spiders. They aren't like bees, who sting and then die.

Comments

gaguy4cy 0

Wednesday 6 January 2010 17:47

doesn't sound like a spider bite. spiders rarely bite unless forced to (defending themselves or nest). Because it had a web it was a trapping predator which means it wouldn't leave the web to track down food. Sounds like you have a bed bug problem or you haven't found the right culprit yet. also, it isn't a matter of your place being dirty. EVERY house has some type of arthropod in it despite the cleaning or pesticide use. cleaning and insecticides will lower the population density but you will not get complete eradication from your home. Finally, to the person who said that spiders can lay eggs on you. that is completely false and just plain moronic. spiders, like all animals, try to ensure the future of their progeny. which means they lay their eggs where they will survive. This equates to egg laying NOT on humans. ps doctors are ignorant when it comes to insect/arthropod bites. they may be able to lead you in a food direction but it is almost impossible to tell the culprit by just the bite.

Stormcat 0

Thursday 7 January 2010 7:19

welcome to arizona. here, there is a large variety of poisonous insects, including spiders :/ for example, black widows and brown spiders.. yeah, for those you'd need to be hospitalized

texasmadeG 0

Monday 8 February 2010 22:36

shes talking about herself..she found a spider web under her bed and she got 5 spider bites..

Niecey89 0

Wednesday 17 February 2010 8:26

My mom got bit by a brown recluse spider, those suck, their venom is a flesh eating virus, just look it up. She had to have a punch biopsy done!

40ozToFreedom 0

Wednesday 12 May 2010 12:55

it's not spider bites it's called an abscess and you most likely have MRSA. the "poison" they are draining is puss.

wintamint101 7

Monday 24 May 2010 3:55

after reading this fml in bed i felt like i got a dozen spider bites...XD

PistenDeer 0

Sunday 24 October 2010 10:48

I hate people like that (i mean his mother). Always blaming stuff on anybody but themselves. Once at school, my classmate tripped and broke her nose in front of my desk. Guess who's blamed for this by her mom?

HemptressMedea 0

Monday 17 January 2011 15:07

Some moms need to quit babying their children. A spider bite can happen anywhere. But definitely Raid the shit out of your room after finding thoseugh. Spiders are horrible!! :(.

Binibaby91 0

Wednesday 27 April 2011 4:46

Someone reallly needs to clean more often!!! Grooosssss

ifetayo 2

Saturday 20 August 2011 2:16

why does everyone keep saying that her room isn't clean? she could have the cleanest room and spiders could still come in and nest...calm you guys ****!