Not that I disagree, but isn't it equally messed up if said girl continues to go back to the nice guy for every concurrent failed relationship? Now, I completely agree. If a guy is being the nice guy because he wants her to fall for her, then yes, he's just being a different kind of asshole. That doesn't change the fact that relationships WITH nice guys are usually rare and, if they occur, relatively short due to them being "too nice." I've heard several reasons. Here are some choice ones: 1) Nice guys are boring. (fair enough, but don't whine to your nice guy ex when your "fun" badboy treats you like shit) 2) Nice guys make less-nice women feel dirty/wicked/whatever by comparison. (I know, it confounds the mind, but I've heard it) 3) Nice guys are too nice to risk "losing" over a relationship. (which is a strange break-up line because it almost always ends up fulfilling itself) But wait, there's more! I can honestly say that I've been the emotional pillar for friends that I've felt strongly for without any intention of ending up with them romantically. In fact, I've turned a few of them down when they actually DID "suddenly fall" for me. So here's another thing to consider. Almost always, these friendships quickly turn into "I'll call you when I need something" friendships, which is a fault of both parties. This is abusive to the nice guy. I know I've had many a dark moment where I've tried to contact one of these friends, often after years of never asking anything in return, only to get an indifferent or resistant reply. Eventually, the nice guy realizes that just being nice will likely lead to him being abusively used, so he has to start give and take for his own survival. I began turning people down when they came to me for advice and they suddenly became more interested in hanging out with me. Funny how that works, right?

"That doesn't change the fact that relationships WITH nice guys are usually rare and, if they occur, relatively short due to them being "too nice." " If the girls you know break up with guys for being too nice, than they aren't nice girls. I have NEVER seen that happen. Nor have I seen that relationships with the "nice guy" are rare.

"women aren't stupid, we can tell when a guy us faking it" Ha. Yeah, O.K.

I've known women to openly admit that they discriminate against nice guys for all reasons mentioned above. Of course, these are usually the women who have given the nice guy "a chance" after realizing the "error" in their usual choice of relationship, so the new dynamic can be quite shocking. In the rare event that a "nice guy" ends up with a "nice girl," the latter being often drawn to the bad boy as well, these relationships usually turn out quite healthy. They are, however, as I said, rare events.

Admittedly, the whiny nice guy is often pretty damn annoying. My point is only that the role of the nice guy is often a tragic one, but I would never go so far as to say that the nice guy is a saint in any way. What these nice guys need to learn is exactly what I did: if they want nothing to do with you, start having nothing to do with them. Move on, look forward, and learn from your mistakes. One doesn't have to go full asshole (you never go full-retard!), but one can't be full nice guy in a relationship, either. People just don't respect overly nice people.