Miscellaneous: Today, my boss came to my cubicle to give me my annual performance... - FML

By ChrisC - 10/07/2009 21:21 - United States

Today, my boss came to my cubicle to give me my annual performance bonus. I was asleep at my desk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 440

You deserved it 62 200

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Same thing different taste

By Sleepy - 09/10/2014 14:10 - United Kingdom - Hayes

Today, I fell asleep at my desk. It's bad enough that it was for 45 minutes and that I was snoring. What makes it worse? My boss woke me up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 001

You deserved it 15 658

Bye bye

By Dan - 17/11/2020 22:58

Today, I fell asleep at work. I got woke up by my boss with a coffee and a referral letter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 354

You deserved it 1 058

By sleepytime - 05/10/2009 16:36 - United States

Today, I was really, REALLY tired at work. I went to the restroom to take a little break, and must have dozed off, because I was awoken by my boss, knocking on the door of the stall. Apparently, I had been snoring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 684

You deserved it 32 906

By Anonymous - 13/05/2014 19:23 - Canada - Charlottetown

Today, everyone at the office was finally presented with the bonuses our boss had promised to pay us by the end of last year. Turns out he was never authorized to promise any such thing, so he ended up just giving us signed "thank you" letters instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 902

You deserved it 3 419

By missedfistbump - 20/03/2013 14:31 - United States

Today, I was talking to my boss and he said I was awesome. He went to fist bump me and I missed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 623

You deserved it 8 678

By Coach - 30/10/2009 13:19 - United States

Today, I was woken up from a phone call from my boss. He asked if I had been asleep. I told him I wasn't, that I was in my car on the way to work. Then my alarm went off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 338

You deserved it 41 615

By Shameonme - 26/10/2008 16:04 - Morocco

Today, I yelled out while I was asleep. However, I was sleeping during a very important meeting with customers and my boss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 580

You deserved it 61 133

By XoXonedirectionXoXo - 23/06/2012 22:21 - United States - Eden Prairie

Today, I fell asleep while on the toilet at work. When I woke up, I tried to quietly sneak back to my desk, only to be caught by my boss. He immediately sent me packing and gave his "best wishes" for me in the unemployment line. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 262

You deserved it 32 400

By Anonymous - 25/10/2013 09:01 - United States - Cedar Park

Today, I worked 24 hours straight fixing my company's servers. After it was over, I breathed a huge sigh of relief and promptly fell asleep at my desk. My boss found me an hour later, refused to listen to me, and fired me for sleeping on the job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 602

You deserved it 4 666

Most likely

By lukey101 - 11/02/2021 14:01 - Australia

Today, I had my half-year performance review. My boss arrived 15 minutes late, paid basically no attention to my presentation, and left 30 minutes early. I guess I’ll go fuck myself then. FML

I agree, your life sucks 951

You deserved it 93

Next

Top comments

Fisshie 0

Saturday 11 July 2009 1:28

What would suck more is if you were dreaming of getting the big bonus and woke up to a sticky-note on you forehead saying "YOU'RE FIRED!".

kdawg86 0

Saturday 11 July 2009 1:36

presumably your bonus was around $5

Comments

sithwithashotgun 0

Saturday 11 July 2009 5:10

Dude, that sucks big time. Were you at least on break? If not, your boss was probably quite pissed off.

SexyBeast101 0

Saturday 11 July 2009 5:26

YDI. Unless you had a really long night or something. But either way, YDI. So sorry for you.

seb12992 0

Saturday 11 July 2009 5:35

Another FML about someone slacking off on the job and getting caught by their boss...

Nick402 0

Saturday 11 July 2009 6:31

Oh, the irony.

U_idiot 1

Saturday 11 July 2009 7:22

LOL YDI. I do believe if there was scheduled nap time during the work day productivity would be much higher though... But for now, rest up before work perhaps and don't be lazy?

islaphippos 0

Saturday 11 July 2009 8:11

well did you get the bonus? If you did its definitely not an FML

AnaMaree 0

Saturday 11 July 2009 8:32

Fired.

somaturee 0

Saturday 11 July 2009 9:31

Clearly, YDI for sleeping on the job.

Nightfallz 0

Saturday 11 July 2009 11:37

this has been done several times recently. also YDI retard. your getting paid to work not to sleep. hopefully you are jobless and he hired a more compitent worker.

tylenol123 0

Monday 18 July 2011 6:02

i like that comment :) and i agree 190%

Gotmilk_fml 8

Saturday 11 July 2009 13:15

Ahah, I love this one!

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The Top

Today, I arranged a romantic dinner for my boyfriend. His favourite meal, fresh flowers, scented candles. Everything went beautifully, at least until he wrapped an arm around me and whispered, "Want some dick?" into my ear. Mood horrifically ruined. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 878

You deserved it 7 381

Today, I realized that the air freshener in my bathroom and the air freshener in my girlfriend's bedroom are the exact same scent. Now, every time I go to the bathroom I get an erection, and every time my girlfriend and I have sex in her room, I think about shitting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 572

You deserved it 8 693

The Top

Today, I made a cup of coffee for a lovely old lady on the dementia ward. She asked for quite a lot of sugar in her drink, but I didn't question it. The moment I gave her the coffee, she threw it all over me. While scalding my skin, it also stuck to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 377

You deserved it 256

Today, I was having a romantic evening with my new boyfriend, until we walked into my bedroom and discovered that my cat had ripped apart my pads and had spread them all over the place. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 494

You deserved it 218

Today, I learned if you've slept with your soon to be step-brother, you should tell your family. If you don't, he may blurt it out while drunk at a family barbecue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 661

You deserved it 44 247

Today, my mom and I heard a thump from inside the coat closet. I opened the door, and something fell on me. My mom, who was behind me, screamed, closed the laundry room door, and ran into the garage, leaving me to face the alleged attacker. It was the vacuum. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 282

You deserved it 2 867

Today, I've been dating my boyfriend for 6 years. I've had a really bad week and am feeling depressed, and he knows this. He's also just decided to tell me he has a two-month-old daughter. We do not have an open relationship. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 258

You deserved it 482

Today, I sat down on my bed completely naked in front of my husband and said, "Man, it's hot in here!" while spreading my legs. He just blew on my vagina, asked if that was better, and then walked away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 347

You deserved it 1 398