Miscellaneous: Today, my boss came to my cubicle to give me my annual performance...

By ChrisC - 10/07/2009 21:21 - United States

Today, my boss came to my cubicle to give me my annual performance bonus. I was asleep at my desk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 439

You deserved it 62 199

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Same thing different taste

By Sleepy - 09/10/2014 14:10 - United Kingdom - Hayes

Today, I fell asleep at my desk. It's bad enough that it was for 45 minutes and that I was snoring. What makes it worse? My boss woke me up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 001

You deserved it 15 657

Bye bye

By Dan - 17/11/2020 22:58

Today, I fell asleep at work. I got woke up by my boss with a coffee and a referral letter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 354

You deserved it 1 058

By sleepytime - 05/10/2009 16:36 - United States

Today, I was really, REALLY tired at work. I went to the restroom to take a little break, and must have dozed off, because I was awoken by my boss, knocking on the door of the stall. Apparently, I had been snoring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 684

You deserved it 32 906

By Anonymous - 13/05/2014 19:23 - Canada - Charlottetown

Today, everyone at the office was finally presented with the bonuses our boss had promised to pay us by the end of last year. Turns out he was never authorized to promise any such thing, so he ended up just giving us signed "thank you" letters instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 902

You deserved it 3 419

By missedfistbump - 20/03/2013 14:31 - United States

Today, I was talking to my boss and he said I was awesome. He went to fist bump me and I missed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 623

You deserved it 8 678

By Coach - 30/10/2009 13:19 - United States

Today, I was woken up from a phone call from my boss. He asked if I had been asleep. I told him I wasn't, that I was in my car on the way to work. Then my alarm went off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 338

You deserved it 41 615

By Shameonme - 26/10/2008 16:04 - Morocco

Today, I yelled out while I was asleep. However, I was sleeping during a very important meeting with customers and my boss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 580

You deserved it 61 131

By XoXonedirectionXoXo - 23/06/2012 22:21 - United States - Eden Prairie

Today, I fell asleep while on the toilet at work. When I woke up, I tried to quietly sneak back to my desk, only to be caught by my boss. He immediately sent me packing and gave his "best wishes" for me in the unemployment line. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 262

You deserved it 32 400

By Anonymous - 25/10/2013 09:01 - United States - Cedar Park

Today, I worked 24 hours straight fixing my company's servers. After it was over, I breathed a huge sigh of relief and promptly fell asleep at my desk. My boss found me an hour later, refused to listen to me, and fired me for sleeping on the job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 602

You deserved it 4 666

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By lukey101 - 11/02/2021 14:01 - Australia

Today, I had my half-year performance review. My boss arrived 15 minutes late, paid basically no attention to my presentation, and left 30 minutes early. I guess I’ll go fuck myself then. FML

I agree, your life sucks 951

You deserved it 93

Fisshie 0

Saturday 11 July 2009 1:28

What would suck more is if you were dreaming of getting the big bonus and woke up to a sticky-note on you forehead saying "YOU'RE FIRED!".

kdawg86 0

Saturday 11 July 2009 1:36

presumably your bonus was around $5

Comments

whatstheproblem 0

Saturday 11 July 2009 20:35

ALL THE MAD PEOPLE COMMENTING ARE JUST THE PEOPLE WHO DONT HAVE JOBS AND ARE TOO DUMB TO BE HIRED.

scythefwd 0

Sunday 12 July 2009 13:32

HMMMM... YDI. You get paid to work, not to sleep (in most lines of work). Sleep on your own time and that bonus check might be bigger next year, if the let you keep working for them.

shalvius 3

Monday 13 July 2009 9:14

awesome

iloveconcerts 0

Tuesday 28 July 2009 20:56

that sucks.

antonioohama 0

Sunday 13 September 2009 9:59

Sinple logic: No performance, no performance bonus.

tylenol123 0

Monday 18 July 2011 5:55

your at "work" your supposed to... work! go to bed earlier! jebus .-.

Friaza 29

Thursday 28 July 2011 0:57

YDI for sleeping on the boss.

zayra_fml 4

Saturday 4 February 2012 20:57

You should of been like " in gods name amen"

LeighBabe 9

Tuesday 20 May 2014 2:20

I read that totally wrong..I read "anal performance"..I was about to comment where the **** do you work?

CzarLaval 9

Wednesday 28 May 2014 23:41

Fml?? Why are you sleeping at work?? Why are you trying to get pity from random people for being lazy?

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The Top

Today, the bank called to ask when were we going to make the mortgage payments for our family home. We were several months late. I had been transferring my mother the cash to make the mortgage payments after she lost her money gambling. She absolutely promised she would stop several months ago. I guess she lied. FML

I agree, your life sucks 620

You deserved it 1 623

Today, we realized we had a problem with two appliances. Their manuals were in a high cabinet. My husband got down the one for the appliance he was working on, but left the one I needed up too high for me to reach. I got the step stool and said, "OK" as I climbed up. My husband flipped and yelled that I am "disrespectful." FML

I agree, your life sucks 405

You deserved it 76

The Top

Today, I walked out of the bathroom when two guys were checking me out and said "nice tail" I smiled and strutted to my next class. When I was about to sit down in my desk, the girl behind me said "did you know you have toilet paper hanging out of your pants?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 387

You deserved it 36 680

Today, I was at a restaurant with a girl I like, and as I was getting my wallet out, I dropped a condom. She didn't see anything, and I didn't dare pick it up in case I drew attention to the "object". The waiter walked past, picked up, and held it out to me with a huge grin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 972

You deserved it 9 411

Today, I was woken up by the massive earthquake in Samoa. I went downstairs to discover that all the hotel staff had fled and abandoned the hotel guests. I was left to run up to higher ground on foot. It was a three hour hike. By the time I got to a safe spot, the tsunami warning was lifted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 408

You deserved it 3 773

Today, I was skating with my friends when I decided to go to the gas station to get a pack of cigs. The last thing I remember hearing was, "Look out!" I now have twenty stitches because some idiot bet he could throw a brick farther than another guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 091

You deserved it 8 874

Today, I took out my phone and realized I butt dialed my girlfriend and left her a 4 minute voicemail of me farting in an echoing toilet bowl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 897

You deserved it 9 212

Today, my 12-year-old stepchild told me he’s been deliberately wetting - and sometimes crapping - the bed because he’s too lazy to get up and knows it’s someone else’s problem to clean up after him. It’s been going on for years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 597

You deserved it 827

Same thing different taste

Bye bye

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