Creepy, Neighbours, Scary and Miscellaneous: Today, I woke up with a cordless drill on my bed. The one I lent... - FML

By Brummsta - 27/01/2010 07:41 - Australia

Today, I woke up with a cordless drill on my bed. The one I lent my neighbour last week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 967

You deserved it 2 606

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Between disastrous breakfasts in bed and unusual gifts, Mother's Day is an inexhaustible source of laughter. More…

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Same thing different taste

I don't want to sound ungrateful, but…

By Anonymous - 22/03/2021 01:00 - United Kingdom - London

Today, it was my birthday. I'd told my wife i would love a new battery drill, finally getting a decent one after all these years, and picked out a few nice ones. I opened the present: another cheap off-brand drill. They "didn't have any of the ones I picked out", but this one came with free drill bits. All useless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 404

You deserved it 235

By germophobe - 02/09/2014 01:53 - Canada - Calgary

Today, my roommate came back from camping. My toothbrush magically reappeared as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 721

You deserved it 3 342

By Noalixah - 27/10/2008 02:22 - Finland

Today, in the early hours of the morning, a worker started drilling the road right in front of my window. He stopped 5 minutes before my alarm clock rang. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 695

You deserved it 3 917

By CB - 19/11/2009 01:30 - New Zealand

Today, I have to go to the dentist to get a tooth capped. Why? Because my room mate knows I sleepwalk and thought it would be funny to put a trip wire across the top of the stairs. It worked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 020

You deserved it 2 489

DIY

By caisse à outs - 23/09/2015 01:06 - France - Saint Quentin

Today, my brother asked to borrow a hammer, a chisel, and a drill just in case. I asked him if he was finally getting round to starting work on his apartment. Nope, he was just going to crack open a coconut he'd bought at the supermarket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 508

You deserved it 2 097

By damngotkik - 20/12/2017 19:00

Today, my friend thought it would be funny to use an electric sander on my arm during our construction class. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 825

You deserved it 383

With friends like these…

By petra84 - 22/10/2012 22:34 - United States - Evans

Today, I let a friend borrow a power saw. When I found it on my porch later, the blade was missing and the cord was cut. Looking closer, I realized it was his saw. He kept my new one. He totally denies that he switched them and now won't answer his door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 383

You deserved it 2 280

Howdy!

By Anonymous - 24/06/2023 12:00

Today, after a full year of work getting my house decorated, it was finally finished. I stepped back from the last painted wall to admire it and my neighbour on the other side of the wall, who was doing some decorating of his own, drilled too far and punched his drill bit right through the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 829

You deserved it 122

By baldspot - 02/04/2012 05:38 - Australia

Today, my daughter decided to wake me up by putting the vacuum in my hair and turning it on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 978

You deserved it 2 874

By tracy4191 - 18/09/2016 05:21 - United States - Ponchatoula

Today, I found out my mom sleeps in my room when I'm at college during the week. I discovered this my bumping into her dildo with my foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 539

You deserved it 723

Next

Top comments

tyrob911 0

Wednesday 27 January 2010 16:15

looks like you've got a nosey neighbour. if she's a female, I say drill her if you know what i mean

Anteezy 7

Wednesday 27 January 2010 16:27

You are a heavy sleeper bro.

Comments

RequiemCube 0

Wednesday 27 January 2010 21:41

In your country, you wake up in bed with cordless drill. In Soviet Russia, bed wakes up with cordless drill in you!

Yarrachel 16

Wednesday 27 January 2010 22:25

Giggidy

XxRyanxX300 0

Thursday 28 January 2010 2:31

lol

natedog193 0

Thursday 28 January 2010 6:46

lmao

xosKsxo 0

Wednesday 27 January 2010 22:36

yeahhh. I'm so sure

davidhasmorefun 0

Wednesday 27 January 2010 22:51

I think #1 is used to cordless drills in her bed. the ones with ****** attached

Bertha5 0

Wednesday 27 January 2010 23:16

maybe ur neighbour knocked on the door and if u live with someone than they answered the door, ur neighbour gave them the drill, and they put it on ur bed;) or they just crawled through a window hehe

oxrox 0

Wednesday 27 January 2010 23:34

You should get a better picture you... you... just do it!

ObadiahtheSlim 2

Wednesday 27 January 2010 23:46

YDI unless he had to break in to return it.

viper63 0

Thursday 28 January 2010 0:04

sweet

shinyred 0

Thursday 28 January 2010 0:34

Do people not understand locking doors and windows at night anymore? So many FMLs have been something happens, I live alone. Its not that hard of a concept!

threedowntroy 0

Tuesday 6 April 2010 16:38

I agree! shoot my house is on total lockdown at night when I go to bed! haha

lpwTJtilli 6

Thursday 28 January 2010 1:14

@

I_skatee 0

Thursday 28 January 2010 1:58

what's wrong with that is that his neighbor was maybe watching him sleep

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The Top

Today, I found a wallet on the train. I called the owner, who said he would come around and pick it up. When he finally did, he looked inside and screamed that his money was missing, and that I was a dirty thief. I never took a cent. He's filing theft charges against me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 429

You deserved it 4 436

Today, I was stuck on a packed interstate bus for hours next to 2 complete strangers, even to each other, have an debate about the "Drake and Kendrick beef." They even tried to drag me into it, so… if you happen to read this and recognize yourselves, I was the guy in a white UA hoodie pretending not to speak English. FML

I agree, your life sucks 370

You deserved it 76

The Top

Today, my mom has gotten to the stage of her Alzheimer’s where every time I visit she thinks I’m a burglar, and screams and cries until I leave. My dad does his best, but I just want my mom back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 306

You deserved it 79

Today, at a restaurant, I ordered the best chocolate soufflé on the menu, which was called "Double Satisfaction". The waiter asked me what would I like to order. The words that came out of my mouth were "Double Orgasm". FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 815

You deserved it 42 276

Today, despite being 22 and having near-perfect dental hygiene, I was diagnosed with receding gums and can only eat soft food for the rest of my life. Then the dentist told me that this typically only happens to people over fifty who don’t take care of their teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 857

You deserved it 249

Today, my wife asked me what I wanted for my birthday, and I said sex. She told me to grow up and ask for something more realistic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 929

You deserved it 370

Today, I was trying to flirt with the guy I like using body language, so I leaned over this counter in a sensual way. I happened to have a fork, so I went to bite the tip that sexy way people do in movies. I accidentally stabbed myself in the lip, cutting it. My lunch had jalapeños in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 601

You deserved it 56 762

Today, I found out that the double spacing format in an essay refers to the space between each line, not the words. I've been pressing the space bar twice between each word all through high school and halfway through college. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 216

You deserved it 83 353