Intimacy: Today, I woke up to a glorious sunrise. I stood up, took a moment...

By huh - 02/06/2012 20:31 - United Kingdom - Troon

Today, I woke up to a glorious sunrise. I stood up, took a moment to soak up some sunlight, and then spent the next hour too scared to go make my morning coffee, after my mother loudly moaned, "Ah yeah, give it to me, Woody!" from down the hall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 839

You deserved it 2 627

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Same thing different taste

No place like home

By MrMagicMan000 - 25/08/2009 06:47 - United States

Today, I woke up to the sounds of birds singing, the smell of butter pancakes in the air, and thought to myself, "Wow, today is going to be great day. I can feel it!" Excited, I jumped out of bed and threw open the door to see my 58 year-old mother doing her morning stretches in the nude. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 292

You deserved it 4 409

By eyegouger15 - 13/11/2015 16:32 - United States

Today, I got out of bed, soaked up the beautiful sunlight, and went to the kitchen to make some coffee. I saw my dad rummaging through the fridge, shirtless and one ball poking through his underwear. I needed to see that about as much as I need ass cancer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 979

You deserved it 2 603

By fucking hell my eyes burn - 23/05/2014 22:46 - Germany

Today, I woke up and stumbled over to my window to soak up some morning sunshine. The sunshine was lovely; the sight of my elderly neighbour doing some kind of nude yoga in his backyard certainly was not. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 351

You deserved it 6 002

By lol smiley face - 28/11/2009 15:57 - United States

Today, I woke up feeling awesome. I turned to face the sunrise in the window, and as I stretched and let out a big yawn. Only for my boyfriend to say "Baby, turn back over. Your breath smells like turds." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 804

You deserved it 10 429

By tireedddddd - 25/11/2011 16:24 - United States

Today, I was woken up at 6am to the sound of my mother on the back deck of the house hooting like an owl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 098

You deserved it 2 484

Booze gone wrong

By Anonymous - 21/02/2017 09:00 - United States

Today, I woke up to the sound of birds chirping, had a wonderful cup of coffee, and found my son throwing up rubbing alcohol in the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 759

You deserved it 737

By Chris - 03/04/2011 17:41 - United States

Today, I was awoken by my dad yelling into my ear. In shock, I jumped up off the couch, and came smashing down into the coffee table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 646

You deserved it 4 120

By whattheshit - 26/11/2009 14:19 - United States

Today, I woke up early. As I was just about to fall back asleep, I was re-awoken to the sound of my parents doing it in the shower. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 250

You deserved it 2 372

By Anonymous - 16/01/2016 05:52 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I woke up to fresh coffee, pancakes, and the sight of my dad digging a grave in the backyard for my dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 192

You deserved it 1 295

Sabotage!

By WTF - 12/10/2012 23:00 - New Zealand - Hamilton

Today, I had to eat my breakfast in terrified silence, as my hungover mother staggered into the room, shouted at the kettle for not boiling fast enough, and after a few seconds, screamed that I'd sabotaged it. I'm now grounded for supposedly trying to fuck with her head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 927

You deserved it 1 684

fireice22 0

Sunday 3 June 2012 3:16

Toy story?

ZX6Rninja 0

Sunday 3 June 2012 3:17

Sounds like they were the ones who had a glorious morning.

Comments

Arrawyn 12

Sunday 3 June 2012 3:44

Good morning?

NoisyNykkii 10

Sunday 3 June 2012 3:46

JESSIE'S CHEATING ON BUZZ?!

ICastillo 24

Sunday 3 June 2012 3:51

There is nothing like waking up to sex moans in the morning. But uh..... to bad it was your mom I bet that's the only alarm you needed to get up though.

TheNewGuy03 28

Sunday 3 June 2012 4:06

Woody... He really grows on you, huh? |the kid|

daydreamer244 13

Sunday 3 June 2012 4:13

Maybe she just wanted a guy named woody to hand her something.

perdix 29

Sunday 3 June 2012 4:21

You'd better get to that morning coffee. A caffeine withdrawl headache is worse than meeting some douche called Woody.

SparkleyTurtle 4

Sunday 3 June 2012 4:43

Didn't you already comment on this FML?? Only 1 comment per FML!!! Each extra is $34.99!!!! Now pay up!!!

perdix 29

Sunday 3 June 2012 4:47

No, read the rules carefully. Each comment is from a completely separate angle, thus they count as seminal, complimentary comments. That's OK, it's a typical rookie mistake ( like leaving your phone number in your profile.)