Intimacy: Today, I went to my girlfriend's sorority formal, we were both...

By Lootz - 03/05/2009 17:10 - United States

Today, I went to my girlfriend's sorority formal, we were both drunk. We went into the bathroom, she started to give me head. After about 30 seconds the song changes and she jumps up and goes out to dance, leaving me there. Door open. Penis out. It was the song she requested. FML

I agree, your life sucks 76 376

You deserved it 20 147

Mother's Day: Sweets and Bummers
Between disastrous breakfasts in bed and unusual gifts, Mother's Day is an inexhaustible source of laughter. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By depressed - 22/02/2010 07:23 - United States

Today, a girl I have been wanting for years told me she was drunk and needed me to take her home. On the way home she was very frisky and flirty, and I kept telling her to wait till we got to her place. When we finally arrived, she passed out on me and I was stuck there watching her sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 816

You deserved it 26 457

Crazy best friend

By Anonymous - 05/12/2019 18:00

Today, I was in the middle of having sex with my boyfriend, and my drunk best friend knocked on our door. We screamed 'go away' and she still opened the door. She then saw us, and asked if she can join. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 706

You deserved it 739

By H-B - 28/04/2009 08:53 - United States

Today, I went out with a girl who I really love. We arrived to her house and before she got out of the car, I attempted to kiss her as planned. Still drunk, I grabbed her head and twisted it when I kissed her. She's now wearing a neck brace. Real smooth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 600

You deserved it 88 940

By Bliss - 09/02/2009 18:24 - United States

Today, I gave my drink to a girl who I got with previously and started to dance with her. She backed off after a few seconds, took my drink and danced with my friend who was standing right next to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 008

You deserved it 5 905

By scatter00x - 08/02/2009 05:39 - United States

Today, I woke up around 5am from a party I had last night, still quite drunk. This chick was lying next to me from the night before. I kissed her, and about a minute and a half into some heavy making out, she opened her eyes and said, "Oh, it's you." Then got up and walked out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 086

You deserved it 7 091

Tasty

By Anonymous - 22/05/2020 20:00

Today, while picking up my extremely drunk girlfriend from a party, she insisted on attempting to make out with me. She threw up in my mouth mid-kiss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 774

You deserved it 280

Karaoke Dinner Disaster

By Jonathan Park - 05/03/2020 09:06 - Canada - Richmond Hill

Today, I went on a first date. She got plastered within the first hour, then a song came on in the restaurant and she told me, "This song's about meeeeee." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 439

You deserved it 163

By cumguzzler - 06/03/2009 16:14 - United States

Today, I was at this awesome party and I was dancing with this really attractive girl who started making out with me all of a sudden. Five minutes later, my friend told me that the girl had just given him a blowjob. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 668

You deserved it 11 925

Careless Whisper?

By InsultToInjury - 28/12/2018 04:00

Today, I had a one night stand. After her laying there without moving for ages, she impatiently asked if I'd finished. Once she got bored and told me to just finish myself off, her song playlist began playing "Never Gonna Dance Again". Very romantic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 095

You deserved it 1 242

By Anonymous - 13/11/2010 05:20 - United States

Today, the girl that I have been trying to get with for over a year told me she was drunk and just gave her first blowjob to some guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 608

You deserved it 4 791

trackrunner525 0

Sunday 3 May 2009 23:05

lmao, that sucks man...blue balls :-p

coloradodude12 0

Sunday 3 May 2009 23:06

Ouch. But she was drunk.

Comments

backseatfever 0

Monday 4 May 2009 17:20

i'm almost positive i know which formal this is and possibly the poster, and believe me, it is possible. lol. and yes, they do take shuttle busses to the formals. so everyone calm down. meaning number 15 who is an idiot. lol.

whatever234 0

Monday 4 May 2009 17:29

HAHAHAHAA. That's awesome, and not an FML at all. Those of you who posted negative comments are morons.

Dhamy 0

Monday 4 May 2009 18:06

...So go dance with her? and then make her finish after? xD

Jem_fml 0

Monday 4 May 2009 18:24

ADD win!

rukusrazor 0

Monday 4 May 2009 19:12

Use those tears to finish yourself off.

DieVanity 0

Monday 4 May 2009 21:25

Thats brutal! Hahahahah

WindChaser 0

Monday 4 May 2009 23:31

girls.....girls....

ditlihi 0

Tuesday 5 May 2009 0:37

Well, what do you expect dude. She's a sorority girl. They have not dignity. But it's not your fault. You'll learn soon enough. Have fun with the sorority girls for a while but make SURE you don't marry any of them. Then go out and find yourself a descent lady.

fcuk_mylife 0

Tuesday 5 May 2009 7:19

YDI for having a ***** for a girlfriend.

hottiegirl09 0

Tuesday 5 May 2009 8:16

No one thinks about the girl! I mean it could have been her favorite song and her thoughts were suck his dick and dance to my favorite song i think she has chosen the right path to fallow!LOL