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Today, I was out at a bar and I asked some fugly girl to dance, out of pity, and she looked at me like I was an moron. All I said to her was "Hi, my name's Bird Dog Johnson, would you like to dance?" That's the last time I take pity on a Fug. FML

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FML I went out to a club in Texas. Out of pity, I asked this fugly girl to dance with me. She looked at me like I was a moron. all I said to her was, "Hi, I'm Bird Dog Johnson, would you like to dance?" That's the last time that I take pity on a Fug.

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Today, I met a not-so-good-looking girl and noticed she wasn't getting any dance offers. I decided to be nice and offer her a dance. I told her my name, Bertrard, but she kept insisting that I'm named BirdDog. I wish I hadn't spoken to this idiot. FML

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An Indian man went up to his father and asked him how he named his kids, to which the father relied, "the moment my son is born, I go to sleep, and when I wake up and go out of my teepee, I name him after the first thing I see. My first son, I saw an eagle in the sky, so I named him, Eagle soaring. For my second son, I saw the moon in the sky, so I named him, Pale Moon Rising. Why do you ask this Big Dog Pooping?"

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It had a period, but I edited it and forgot to put it back. That's why you can see that the ask is still capitalized. I didn't have enough time to correct it.

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