Miscellaneous: Today, I went out for dinner with my long-term crush, who turned...

By Anonymous - 10/01/2013 12:20 - Slovakia

Today, I went out for dinner with my long-term crush, who turned out to be a huge dog person. He asked me which dog breed I like the most. In an attempt to reply with both Labrador and Doberman, I accidentally said Dumbledore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 089

You deserved it 9 615

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Same thing different taste

By fmlman - 15/03/2013 05:44 - United States - Rawlins

Today, while walking my dog at the park, I spotted my crush and said "Hi!" By not paying attention where I was going, I tripped and fell down. My dog started humping me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 370

You deserved it 6 378

By Anonymous - 12/07/2011 01:12 - United States

Today, I met a really nice guy. He was funny, handsome, and we were both into each other. He told me his name, and when I replied with mine, it came out sounding like "I'm a bear." FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 948

You deserved it 16 359

By Anonymous - 24/06/2009 10:10 - Netherlands

Today, I ran into my crush of three years ago. We used to always walk our dogs together. He still remembered my dog's name. He didn't remember mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 152

You deserved it 4 003

Differences

By Alone - 21/05/2014 11:05 - United States - Washington

Today, I finally had a date, my first one in well over a year. Everything was going good, until my date asked, "Do you like cats or dogs better?" When I responded cats, my date promptly got up and left, saying, "This isn't meant to be." FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 400

You deserved it 12 887

Another one?

By Anonymous - 27/04/2012 15:24 - United States

Today, I found out the guy I've been crushing on for many years thinks he's a werewolf. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 918

You deserved it 4 860

By misTreated - 30/05/2010 04:01 - United States

Today, I was spelling T-R-E-A-T to my fiancé so that the dog wouldn't understand what I was talking about. Turns out, neither could my fiancé. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 977

You deserved it 5 559

By Anonymous - 20/05/2009 20:22 - United States

Today, I was out walking my dog. A cute woman said, "Nice dog!" Without thinking, I replied, "You too!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 290

You deserved it 44 864

By TrulyYours - 07/05/2009 12:39 - United States

Today, I was talking to my boyfriend on the phone. After a short pause I hear him say "I love you." Smiling I say, "I love you too." Then he says, "I was talking to my dog." FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 547

You deserved it 5 912

Wet dream

By Annettedarling - 21/04/2017 23:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my dog acted out a scene from Disney with me, by causing me and a member of the opposite sex to fall into a river after tangling our legs with the lead. No, it didn't lead to marriage, just me being yelled at. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 992

You deserved it 523

By Anonymous - 28/11/2011 15:31

Today, I finally met the cute guy I've been seeing around town. Bad news is, I was drunk off my ass, and when he told me his name, I burst out laughing because it's the same as my puppy's. He did not take it well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 335

You deserved it 37 321

ICastillo 24

Thursday 10 January 2013 19:01

Oh yeah that breed of dog is awesome, very loyal, but they have a bad habit of humping things.

I_iz_B_a_troll 23

Thursday 10 January 2013 19:01

I thought the Dumbledore was a breed of goat, with the really long beard and all... The canine version of this would be pretty awesome.

Comments

smjtx 1

Friday 11 January 2013 1:12

I actually have a Lab/doberman/mutt mix whose name is Albus Dumbledog.

JefftheRipper 9

Friday 11 January 2013 1:15

The hair on dumbledores is very unruly. Talk about shed city.

foxtrousers 14

Friday 11 January 2013 1:16

Sorry but this isn't a fail, this is a win all around OP

Shadowvoid 33

Friday 11 January 2013 1:24

I dumbledover'd in pain from laughing so hard at this

ChancellorJ 7

Friday 11 January 2013 1:24

That is a perfectly acceptable breed of dog.

88vivera 9

Friday 11 January 2013 1:28

That's funny

_krystallynn_ 11

Friday 11 January 2013 1:42

woah, just take it easy man.

untamable_mare 4

Friday 11 January 2013 1:49

That is awesome! I feel a new designer breed coming on!

RocketNinjaFish 12

Friday 11 January 2013 2:13

I wish I had a pet Dumbledore...

loccsta83 5

Friday 11 January 2013 2:24

That's lulz

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The Top

Today, I was going to have sex with my Hispanic boyfriend. I wanted to turn him on, so I asked my friend how to say, "Fuck me" in Spanish. She claimed it was "Pollo frito". I then had sex, constantly saying "Pollo frito" for an hour. I later realized I was saying "Fried chicken." FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 488

You deserved it 183 654

Today, I went looking for a childhood doll - I remembered that my mum kept her in her bedside cabinet. I could see the doll at the back, but there was stuff in the way, so I reached in and took some of it out, only to find I was holding one of my mum's toys… a big black rubber cock. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 226

You deserved it 6 962

The Top

Today, I walked up sixteen flights of stairs to my room to avoid the lift lines. When I was almost at the top, the fire alarm sounded. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 573

You deserved it 3 797

Today, I told my family that I’m pregnant. My sister is upset and refuses to accept she’ll have to help with the baby. I’m a single mom going to college and living at home, and will need help. FML

I agree, your life sucks 97

You deserved it 1 995

Today, I found out my mom had a miscarriage before I was born. I had no idea about this, and the reason I found out was that she posted it on Facebook, where I'm friends with her. She feels fine posting about this to complete strangers but not talking to me about it? FML

I agree, your life sucks 538

You deserved it 194

Today, my now ex-friend told me she had feelings for my ex and was also choosing him over our friendship, despite being fully aware of the crazy rollercoaster our relationship was and being there to hear every detail of the trauma. She classily told me at random, in a public mall. People suck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 425

You deserved it 235

Today, my doctor booked me in for an STI test. I was feeling confident until he explained it will involve having a catheter inserted into my piss pipe. He shook his head sadly and said, "Gonna be honest Steve, the pain's beyond belief." Great. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 745

You deserved it 5 671

Today, I found out my identity was stolen. The person got credit cards in my name and didn't pay the bills, which has ruined my near perfect credit. The worst part about all of this is that I can't turn the person in. It's my mom, and sending her to jail wouldn't really work out for anyone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 468

You deserved it 5 440

Same thing different taste

Differences

Another one?

Wet dream

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