Miscellaneous: Today, I went grocery shopping. As I was leaning in to pick up...

By beleria - 23/04/2012 22:41 - United States

Today, I went grocery shopping. As I was leaning in to pick up some produce, someone viciously slapped me on the butt. I whirled around and nobody was anywhere in sight. Now I'm starting to worry that I'm losing my mind. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 233

You deserved it 2 891

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Same thing different taste

By rescuetheduck - 10/04/2012 19:26 - Finland - Joensuu

Today, I was at the grocery store, waiting in line to pay. A man jumped me from behind, and my first reflex was to brutally elbow him in the face. I soon discovered my attacker was one of the patients at the disability house at which I work, and he was trying to hug me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 937

You deserved it 7 273

Pranks for all ages

By atleastshelldiefirst - 13/10/2012 00:18 - United States

Today, I was grocery shopping, when an elderly lady walked up to me and tripped over her own feet. I caught her by the arm, at which point she shrieked at me for "groping" her. She ended up smirking as security threw me out of the store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 978

You deserved it 1 800

Lawyer up

By gnofin - 22/03/2016 21:23 - United States

Today, I was walking out of a grocery store. I hit the button on my key to open the trunk, which hit an old lady just under her chin and knocked her to the ground. As she laid there, she pointed a shaky, bony finger at me and yelled that she would sue me for everything I have. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 548

You deserved it 3 028

By notarobber - 15/05/2013 07:20 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I was wearing a black shirt, black pants, and a black beanie at a grocery store. I came around a corner, bumped into a woman and she screamed, "Murderer." I was immediately thrown out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 696

You deserved it 10 112

Helicopter parents

By I apologize on behalf of my mother - 14/05/2023 03:00 - United States

Today, I was getting food at a buffet. Suddenly, my mom appeared and started screaming at a guy for pushing me. I wasn't pushed by anyone, I just tripped over nothing. The poor guy looked so confused and embarrassed, and my mom wouldn't let me defend him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 768

You deserved it 86

By anon - 05/04/2017 04:00

Today, a guy grabbed my ass at the mall. I whirled around and went to sock him. He ducked and I accidentally hit the elderly woman standing behind him in the face. To say all hell broke loose would be an understatement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 679

You deserved it 740

By Anonymous - 16/08/2012 21:09 - United States

Today, while at the grocery store, I saw my mother. I thought it would be funny to scare her by sneaking up and grabbing her ass. Not only was it not my mom, I left the place with a ban from ever returning to that store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 658

You deserved it 47 739

By DatAss - 15/01/2016 10:56

Today, I was out grocery shopping when some pervert decided to slap my ass as they walked by. As I turned around to confront them, I saw that the culprit was a 7 or 8-year-old boy. I was so shocked, speechless and angry that I couldn't even decide how to handle the situation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 999

You deserved it 2 459

By pizzafreak18 - 21/06/2010 14:21 - United States

Today, I went into the store where my boyfriend works. I saw him talking to a customer, his back was facing me, so I went up and smacked his butt. Turns out it wasn't him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 073

You deserved it 54 948

By stabbed with kindness - 02/03/2013 21:44 - Russian Federation - Elektrostal

Today, on the way home, a guy yelled "Hey, YOU!" from behind me, so I walked faster. He ran up to me, shouting, "I said stop, asshole!" I almost pissed myself in fear, thinking I was being mugged. Turns out I'd left my wallet at the grocery store, and he was just trying to return it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 523

You deserved it 45 186

Radix 3

Tuesday 24 April 2012 1:26

It was me, sorry :)

linkinpark98 23

Tuesday 24 April 2012 1:28

Maybe you're just considered really attractive by the ghost who owns the fruit section. ;)

Comments

groupleader 7

Tuesday 24 April 2012 2:11

Nice ass you have there. Beware, I will get you again...when you least expect it.

DarkHelmet 10

Tuesday 24 April 2012 2:11

Aaaahhhh u beat me to it Noor! LOL

mjoyn98 1

Tuesday 24 April 2012 2:11

Damn, those boys be smooth.

gracehi 31

Tuesday 24 April 2012 2:15

Sexually molested by ninja...giggity.

demonkonga 5

Tuesday 24 April 2012 2:16

Perverted ghost or spirit

ElricMustang 23

Tuesday 24 April 2012 2:19

Of course she's a ninja! Of all the colors to choose to cover themselves in, why do you think the most common is black?

cthighlander 3

Tuesday 24 April 2012 2:20

Time to call the ghost whisperer

laurenobrien 4

Tuesday 24 April 2012 2:21

Check your selff

longhorns1050 3

Tuesday 24 April 2012 2:22

Invisible man strikes again!!

KitaBrah 0

Tuesday 24 April 2012 2:24

Look down next time. It was probably a midget lol

Keywords

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I agree, your life sucks 405

You deserved it 51

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You deserved it 3 122

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 1 165

You deserved it 152

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I agree, your life sucks 13 818

You deserved it 804

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I agree, your life sucks 2 732

You deserved it 421

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I agree, your life sucks 35 389

You deserved it 14 001

Today, my father made his bellybutton talk. In front of my new boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 937

You deserved it 4 462

Today, it is my twin sisters and my birthday. We both wanted a day at the spa for our birthday. My sister got a gift certificate to the spa, while I got mouthwash and a $20 gift card to Target. My mom said it would cost too much to make me pretty also. FML

I agree, your life sucks 121 749

You deserved it 5 979

Same thing different taste

Pranks for all ages

Lawyer up

Helicopter parents

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