Animals: Today, I was walking in the park with my girlfriend, when out...

By -_- - 29/03/2011 02:22 - United States

Today, I was walking in the park with my girlfriend, when out of nowhere, I was savaged and brutally humped into submission by a massive Great Dane. Not only did my girlfriend watch it all, but the dog's owner took the time to snap a few pictures with his phone. Neither bothered to help me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 969

You deserved it 5 347

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
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Same thing different taste

Unattack dog

By woofwoof - 30/12/2014 04:17 - Turkey - Izmir

Today, I got mugged while walking my dog. He seemed to be OK with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 029

You deserved it 2 995

By Lizofsmeg - 26/10/2009 16:24 - United Kingdom

Today, I was walking in the park when I was hit on the shin by a red ball. I was confused, until it was followed by an enormous German Shepherd dog going at top speed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 357

You deserved it 2 651

By Anonymous - 01/09/2012 23:15 - Canada - North Vancouver

Today, a dog attacked me. Its owner, instead of apologizing and helping me, said it was my own fault for making it think I was an attacker by running past them. We were on a jogging track. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 736

You deserved it 1 973

By fmlman - 15/03/2013 05:44 - United States - Rawlins

Today, while walking my dog at the park, I spotted my crush and said "Hi!" By not paying attention where I was going, I tripped and fell down. My dog started humping me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 370

You deserved it 6 377

Bad doggo

By Anonymous - 13/04/2023 04:00 - United States

Today, I was walking down the street when I saw a cute dog. I reached down to pet it, but it snarled then bit me. As I was walking away, I saw the owner of the dog, who was laughing and filming the whole thing on his shitty cellphone. I hope the video isn't out there on TikTok or whatever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 410

You deserved it 974

Cujo 2: Electric Boogaloo

By Anonymous - 07/10/2019 22:00

Today, I was mauled by my own dog. I own a Chihuahua. FML

I agree, your life sucks 986

You deserved it 1 230

By anon - 19/06/2009 16:53 - United States

Today, I took my dog for a walk. It became friendly with another dog, and I reached down to pet them both. Suddenly, an old woman runs up to me and whacks me with her cane repeatedly. Apparently, her previous dog had been kidnapped by a woman who looked a lot like me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 238

You deserved it 2 809

Cujo

By Doglover - 13/10/2011 15:55 - United Kingdom

Today, I had to climb up and sit in a tree for half an hour to avoid being mauled by a huge, insane dog. Its weird-looking owner eventually turned up, sneered at me, and walked off with the visibly smug dog in tow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 012

You deserved it 2 890

STRANGER DANGER!

By Anonymous - 12/04/2022 10:00

Today, my girlfriend and I attempted to help a little girl who was alone and looked lost. All I managed to say was, "Hi my name is…" when she screamed and set off an actual rape alarm in her pocket. I was tackled by about 3 people, while my girlfriend did nothing to help me except laugh and start filming it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 223

You deserved it 109

Be careful out there

By Burningeyes - 09/03/2024 03:00 - United States

Today, I was walking my dog when a lady approached me, commented how beautiful she was, and asked to pet her. I obliged and next thing I knew I was pushed to the ground and maced. She made off with my dog. The police is unable to locate them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 704

You deserved it 60

perdix 29

Tuesday 29 March 2011 6:07

The good news is that in a few months, you'll have a litter of baby-puppies.

DocBastard 38

Tuesday 29 March 2011 6:05

Was this great Dane Beowulf or Hamlet?

Comments

perdix 29

Tuesday 29 March 2011 6:07

The good news is that in a few months, you'll have a litter of baby-puppies.

eminemXshady 0

Tuesday 29 March 2011 7:07

Born through the tip of his penis.

NCR 0

Tuesday 29 March 2011 7:25

ow my penis hurts now

eminemXshady 0

Tuesday 29 March 2011 7:34

Your welcome

paigeorpage1 0

Tuesday 29 March 2011 16:45

errrr doesnt work like that I'm afraid lol dumass

CardMaster1992 0

Tuesday 29 March 2011 6:07

happy = gay

Yinky 6

Tuesday 29 March 2011 6:08

Doggy style!

ptxace 0

Tuesday 29 March 2011 6:17

Jus about to say that ahah

sammywhits 0

Tuesday 29 March 2011 7:54

always the way to go.

Rebe_fml 4

Tuesday 29 March 2011 6:09

you know you liked it.

KJLD5 0

Tuesday 29 March 2011 6:10

allo bonerrz. just sayin that i ****** LUV ur space between ur teeth. my bed?

urdirtyolduncle 15

Tuesday 29 March 2011 6:10

other way around

maa_rico 4

Tuesday 29 March 2011 6:12

So you must know what op is talking about. Nice sandwich btw.

ladybug108 0

Tuesday 29 March 2011 6:12

if I saw that. I'd laugh and take pictures to:) haha

trixy81 10

Tuesday 29 March 2011 20:24

same!

urdirtyolduncle 15

Tuesday 29 March 2011 6:13

is that his actual picture?

Yinky 6

Tuesday 29 March 2011 6:13

Your def. the bitch in this situation. :P

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I, for some reason, was talking to my mom about money. I jokingly said that the reason we're short on cash is because of her internet porn addiction. She replied, with a straight face, "How did you know?" I'm still not sure if she's joking or not. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 706

You deserved it 5 785

Today, it's my birthday, and I had one to many and my best friend and my boyfriend had to take me home. We went back to my apartment and all squeezed together in my bed. During the night I got sick and spent the rest of the night on the bathroom floor. Later I found out that they'd fucked in my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 419

You deserved it 365

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 3 763

You deserved it 305

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I agree, your life sucks 8 376

You deserved it 29 720

Today, I phoned my bank. The person wouldn't speak to me about my account as I "sound female" despite being a year 30-old-male. They had to get a supervisor and listen to recordings of past calls to believe me. This isn't the first time I've been mistaken for a girl on the phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 047

You deserved it 299

Today, I got on an elevator at the mall, along with a twelve or thirteen-year-old girl talking on her cell. She spent the whole ride telling the person on the other end how hideous I looked and how I look like a pregnant sperm whale. I was too humiliated to even say anything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 003

You deserved it 4 870

Today, I was in my car and a cute guy pulled up next to me. He looked at me and smiled, but in order to be cool, I pretended not to notice. I also pretended that I was listening to music and was completely absorbed in it, singing passionately. I wasn't even listening to music and my window was down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 020

You deserved it 82 810

Today, some friends and I were pulled over on our way back from a party. We'd had a few drinks, so we tried to play it cool just in case we were over the limit. The cop didn't seem to want to breathalyze us, until my really high friend in the backseat said, "These are not the droids you are looking for." FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 657

You deserved it 47 090

Same thing different taste

Unattack dog

Bad doggo

Cujo 2: Electric Boogaloo

Cujo

STRANGER DANGER!

Be careful out there

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