Animals: Today, I was walking in the park with my girlfriend, when out...

By -_- - 29/03/2011 02:22 - United States

Today, I was walking in the park with my girlfriend, when out of nowhere, I was savaged and brutally humped into submission by a massive Great Dane. Not only did my girlfriend watch it all, but the dog's owner took the time to snap a few pictures with his phone. Neither bothered to help me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 970

You deserved it 5 348

May Day: Lily of the Valley and Misunderstandings
When lilies of the valley bring good luck... or not! Discover the stories behind every little bell! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Unattack dog

By woofwoof - 30/12/2014 04:17 - Turkey - Izmir

Today, I got mugged while walking my dog. He seemed to be OK with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 029

You deserved it 2 995

By Lizofsmeg - 26/10/2009 16:24 - United Kingdom

Today, I was walking in the park when I was hit on the shin by a red ball. I was confused, until it was followed by an enormous German Shepherd dog going at top speed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 357

You deserved it 2 651

By Anonymous - 01/09/2012 23:15 - Canada - North Vancouver

Today, a dog attacked me. Its owner, instead of apologizing and helping me, said it was my own fault for making it think I was an attacker by running past them. We were on a jogging track. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 736

You deserved it 1 973

By fmlman - 15/03/2013 05:44 - United States - Rawlins

Today, while walking my dog at the park, I spotted my crush and said "Hi!" By not paying attention where I was going, I tripped and fell down. My dog started humping me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 370

You deserved it 6 378

Bad doggo

By Anonymous - 13/04/2023 04:00 - United States

Today, I was walking down the street when I saw a cute dog. I reached down to pet it, but it snarled then bit me. As I was walking away, I saw the owner of the dog, who was laughing and filming the whole thing on his shitty cellphone. I hope the video isn't out there on TikTok or whatever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 410

You deserved it 974

Cujo 2: Electric Boogaloo

By Anonymous - 07/10/2019 22:00

Today, I was mauled by my own dog. I own a Chihuahua. FML

I agree, your life sucks 987

You deserved it 1 232

By anon - 19/06/2009 16:53 - United States

Today, I took my dog for a walk. It became friendly with another dog, and I reached down to pet them both. Suddenly, an old woman runs up to me and whacks me with her cane repeatedly. Apparently, her previous dog had been kidnapped by a woman who looked a lot like me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 238

You deserved it 2 809

Cujo

By Doglover - 13/10/2011 15:55 - United Kingdom

Today, I had to climb up and sit in a tree for half an hour to avoid being mauled by a huge, insane dog. Its weird-looking owner eventually turned up, sneered at me, and walked off with the visibly smug dog in tow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 012

You deserved it 2 890

STRANGER DANGER!

By Anonymous - 12/04/2022 10:00

Today, my girlfriend and I attempted to help a little girl who was alone and looked lost. All I managed to say was, "Hi my name is…" when she screamed and set off an actual rape alarm in her pocket. I was tackled by about 3 people, while my girlfriend did nothing to help me except laugh and start filming it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 223

You deserved it 109

Be careful out there

By Burningeyes - 09/03/2024 03:00 - United States

Today, I was walking my dog when a lady approached me, commented how beautiful she was, and asked to pet her. I obliged and next thing I knew I was pushed to the ground and maced. She made off with my dog. The police is unable to locate them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 707

You deserved it 60

perdix 29

Tuesday 29 March 2011 6:07

The good news is that in a few months, you'll have a litter of baby-puppies.

DocBastard 38

Tuesday 29 March 2011 6:05

Was this great Dane Beowulf or Hamlet?

Comments

ismellladygaga 0

Tuesday 29 March 2011 16:27

this shit made me lmao. o.o...!

xoxoMEGANxoxo 13

Tuesday 29 March 2011 16:34

lol I think that's hilarious!

CaliforniaCheese 0

Tuesday 29 March 2011 16:58

Sounds like that upper body needs some work, I'd suggest you start carrying a slab of meat in both hands to build it up, it serves a dual purpose as it will deter your new boyfriend's lust for you.

browntiga 0

Tuesday 29 March 2011 16:58

another species of the same gender

zacharydaniel 0

Tuesday 29 March 2011 17:07

that would be funny...if it was true

bkina 0

Tuesday 29 March 2011 17:51

lmao sooo funny comon if it was someone else ud be laughing too

lostfaithinpppl 19

Tuesday 29 March 2011 18:30

Learn to spell before you attempt to communicate your thoughts in a written form again.

eminemXshady 0

Wednesday 30 March 2011 7:44

^^ your name completes your comment

bkina 0

Tuesday 29 March 2011 17:51

lmao sooo funny comon if it was someone else ud be laughing too

sammyxduh 0

Tuesday 29 March 2011 18:05

Oh god, lololololololol.

Rjword3 0

Tuesday 29 March 2011 18:32

hahahahahahahaha

exigency 0

Tuesday 29 March 2011 18:34

"Savaged and brutally humped into submission." Lmfao. Your use of vocabulary definitely made this that much funnier. Though how long did it take you to look them up in a thesaurus?