Intimacy: Today, I was texting my girlfriend about cross dressing and I...

By DanteWest1000 - 03/04/2012 04:43 - United States - Papillion

Today, I was texting my girlfriend about cross dressing and I said, "It would be hard for me to conceal my weapon." She instantly replied, "Not really, it's like finding a needle in a haystack, you'll be alright." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 991

You deserved it 7 640

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Same thing different taste

By joe rogan fucking sucks, dude - 27/04/2014 20:51 - Australia - Warwick

Today, my girlfriend informed me that during the night, I shot up in bed and whimpered tearfully, "I don't have anything for the fancy-dress!" She also decided to share this with all our friends. I'm never going to live this down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 134

You deserved it 5 093

By Anonymous - 10/09/2014 03:16 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my girlfriend went shopping at Victoria's Secret with me. While she was in the fitting room, her parents walked by and saw me. They don't approve of the store, so I panicked and told them I was considering becoming a woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 605

You deserved it 14 089

Hands on the wheel

By Username - 05/10/2011 00:02 - United States

Today, on my way home, my girlfriend started sexting me, telling me that she was waiting at my house. In my rush to get home to see her, I got pulled over and had to be patted down. He found no weapons, but he did find my stiffy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 948

You deserved it 12 650

By is_that_right - 27/12/2014 19:14 - United States - El Paso

Today, I texted my girlfriend, saying "Hey there." She quickly replied, assuring me that she's not cheating on me. Uh, okay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 965

You deserved it 2 947

By NewTenant - 20/06/2011 07:37 - United States

Today, while a very cute girl was explaining the apartment's laundry machines to me, I blurted out, "It's okay, my pants are used to handling huge loads". FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 205

You deserved it 39 984

Easy

By FootinMouth - 18/07/2013 21:48 - United States - Louisville

Today, my girlfriend said she wanted to get a little crazy and try some role-play. "Act like you don't want it," she said. Without thinking, I replied, "Well, that should be easy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 473

You deserved it 54 650

By just_a_bit_akwRd - 04/08/2009 04:15 - United States

Today, I was putting on my new pair of jeans, when my girlfriend walked in. She found the "XS" size sticker on the side of my pants, held it for a little while then put it on my crotch. She then looked at me, gave a little shrug and half-smile and walked away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 679

You deserved it 7 813

By tigerbyrn - 30/05/2016 15:35 - Canada - Scarborough

Today, as I was about to meet my girlfriend's parents, she thought it would be funny to grab my junk and give me a hard-on right before they walked in. I couldn't hide it quickly enough. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 052

You deserved it 2 085

By well then... - 15/06/2013 05:04 - Canada - London

Today, as I was crossing to the US, I got pulled over by border patrol for looking "suspicious". The female cop searched my purse and found a condom. She smirked and said, "I doubt you'd ever need that." FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 415

You deserved it 4 788

By captainocd - 19/08/2010 19:16 - United States

Today, my incredibly self conscious girlfriend decided to get over her fears and let me see her in her underwear. She did a short strip tease, crawled on top of me and asked what I thought. I couldn't think of anything to say besides, "Your bra and panties don't match." FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 643

You deserved it 85 064

emba_fml 13

Tuesday 3 April 2012 11:42

well at least she's honest

ycrem0n 21

Tuesday 3 April 2012 12:07

Poke her with your needle

Comments

DJRhetorical 4

Tuesday 3 April 2012 16:04

Well that does suck, but clearly you deserved it for referring to it as a "weapon".

Giants24 0

Tuesday 3 April 2012 16:35

I read "I was texting my girlfriend about cross dressing" and hit YDI.

pokerbratt 1

Tuesday 3 April 2012 17:40

Ditto

emba_fml 13

Tuesday 3 April 2012 19:57

its probable they were just having a random conversation and joking about it. are you really that offended by cross dressing?

longhorns1050 3

Tuesday 3 April 2012 17:34

I wish that fml had a hahaha button! This would be perfect

pokerbratt 1

Tuesday 3 April 2012 17:39

Lemme guess...u must be a white guy.

TrashCan69 2

Tuesday 3 April 2012 18:29

You should have told her, "but baby, both your mother and your sister said I have a glorious penis and they were both rather snug. You on the other hand is like ******* a warm jar of mayonnaise closely to being compared to throwing a hotdog down a hallway". That would have changed her attitude.

Llamacod 11

Wednesday 4 April 2012 3:15

Twine down a silo ?

Killafornia 1

Tuesday 3 April 2012 19:02

Truth hurts huh?

Summera 2

Tuesday 3 April 2012 19:44

Tell her: "Maybe we should cross dress together because with that chest nobody will see the difference anyway."

BobbieH 19

Tuesday 3 April 2012 19:51

You asked for it! So you can't blame anyone but yourself, especially if it's true and your penis is that small. If not, then its just good fun at your expense.