Health: Today, I was out clubbing, when some bloke at the bar started...

By Anonymous - 24/12/2011 02:49 - Australia

Today, I was out clubbing, when some bloke at the bar started trying to pick fights with everyone. Trying to defuse the situation with humour, I said, "I used to be a tough guy like you. Then I took an arrow in the knee." The next thing I know, I have a broken nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 151

You deserved it 41 743

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Same thing different taste

Fight Club

By MyFaceHurts - 03/08/2010 10:40 - United States

Today, while at a local bar, my friends and I were approached by an overly intoxicated man who asked us each politely if we wanted to fight. Thinking it was a joke, I said yes. It wasn't a joke, I now have a broken nose and a black eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 857

You deserved it 55 526

Pace yourself

By Anonymous - 20/02/2021 11:01

Today, for my 18th birthday, I went out to a club with my mate and I drank so much I ended up breaking my nose. I was there for an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 297

You deserved it 1 114

By brokennose - 26/08/2009 04:40 - United States

Today, I was at the bar and my friend and I were making fun of this guy wearing a Affliction muscle tee and bedazzled Ed Hardy hat. We were saying how he was the epitome of a douche bag and that he probably likes UFC. Turns out he's an MMA fighter and I now have a broken nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 783

You deserved it 67 561

Tough guy, huh?

By Anonymous - 14/06/2012 20:59 - United Kingdom - Croydon

Today, my face got intimate with several plywood boards, and I suffered lacerations and bruising. I told my friends I got the wounds from taking a few guys down in a bar fight. Now they're dragging me out into a rough part of town to give them "muscle" while they try to score some crack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 342

You deserved it 44 305

By Anonymous - 13/04/2016 08:25

Today, I woke up in hospital after a night of heavy drinking. My friends told me I was beat up by the doorman. After going to the club to watch the security footage, it was revealed I actually fell on my face trying to fight, and caused more damage to myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 568

You deserved it 11 410

By lehonj49 - 21/06/2013 16:10 - Australia - Burwood

Today, after years of battling my social anxiety issues, I went out clubbing with my friends. A girl started talking to me and we actually hit it off. The next thing I know, I'm on the floor getting wailed on by some bloke for hitting on his girlfriend. She didn't do a thing to stop him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 853

You deserved it 3 688

By shalara - 15/06/2012 20:23 - Netherlands - Amstelveen

Today, I was walking down the street, when I saw a guy in front of me trip and fall forwards, and I quickly jumped forward to steady him. Apparently he thought he was being mugged, and threw his head backwards into my face, leaving my nose a bloody mess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 226

You deserved it 2 475

By deven - 29/08/2009 22:58 - United States

Today, I saw a fight so I went over to try and break it up. Someone thought I wanted to join in, so he gave me an unexpected whap in the happy sacks, and I also got a bloody nose for my troubles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 737

You deserved it 44 797

By ThisIsWhyIStayAtHome - 24/05/2014 00:09 - Ireland - Dublin

Today, I was at a nightclub when some dick squeezed the ass of the girl beside me. She whirled around and started yelling and slapping me across the face. I was dragged out by the bouncers, to cheers from the people around us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 323

You deserved it 3 408

By itstillhurts - 21/12/2009 04:23 - United Kingdom

Today, I was down the pub with a mate and we got onto the subject of bar fights. I said I thought being glassed wouldn't actually hurt that much. My friend looks at me, calmly finishes his pint and then swiftly smashes his glass over my head. Turns out I was wrong. And we got kicked out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 568

You deserved it 35 757

MrSassypants 32

Saturday 24 December 2011 5:52

"I used to tell people took an arrow to the knee, but then I took a fist to the nose." - OP

friedchickenpie 14

Saturday 24 December 2011 5:58

I used to hate that quote, but I took a Skyrim to the addiction section of my brain.

Comments

Zomg_Okay 26

Saturday 24 December 2011 14:29

204 - If ever there was a game worth paying for, it's Skyrim.

Muffin_boo 12

Saturday 24 December 2011 14:35

The quote is from the game skyrim lol. If you've played it then you know it. Good job OP. way to get your ass kicked skyrim style xD

KiddNYC1O 20

Saturday 24 December 2011 14:55

Some Skyrim scenes remind me of Hercules: The Legendary Journeys... Pretty cool.

ZDK5498 6

Saturday 24 December 2011 15:04

well if you are not prepared to fight than don't crack jokes that could be insulting to someone that is willing to!

Schiffy 18

Saturday 24 December 2011 15:15

What have we learned today? Don't quote Skyrim in front of an angry drunken man.

austinha11 0

Saturday 24 December 2011 15:22

You moron. You're just like all those other robots who talk everyone else. Keep internet lingo on the Internet.

Levvy 22

Saturday 24 December 2011 17:31

"You're just like all those other robots who talk everyone else." I think your programmer needs to adjust your language subroutines. I can only sort of guess at what you meant by that word salad.

icygiraffe 0

Saturday 24 December 2011 15:24

Does antbody even know ehat tha means?

Samigirl11 0

Saturday 24 December 2011 15:28

Omfg that's ******* great haha

hateevryone 14

Saturday 24 December 2011 15:34

an arrow in the knee? what the hell does that mean?

Levvy 22

Saturday 24 December 2011 17:29

"I used to be an adventurer like you. Then I took an arrow in the knee." is a recycled line spoken by random guards in the very popular new console/PC RPG "The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim". I think it sort of stuck in mass consciousness due to how often you could hear that same line from different guards all throughout the game. The sheer improbability of it is pretty amusing.