Love: Today, I was hit by a car. I called my girlfriend from the hospital... - FML

By man - 08/05/2009 21:46 - United States

Today, I was hit by a car. I called my girlfriend from the hospital and asked her if she could pick me up. She responded by saying "Fuck you, you aways tell me what to do!" and hung up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 358

You deserved it 10 374

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Same thing different taste

By noname - 18/02/2013 01:28 - United States - Middletown

Today, after being in the hospital for 2 weeks after emergency abdominal surgery, my girlfriend, who didn't even bother to ask how I was, made me hobble to her house just to dump me and send me straight back home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 179

You deserved it 3 047

By Tom - 25/11/2010 13:28

Today, a car hit me. I didn't get hurt, but someone called 911. The old woman who had hit me got out of the car with no problem to look at me, and gets back into the car. When the police arrive, she pulls out crutches and said I made strange faces and made her hit me. I got blamed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 167

You deserved it 2 579

By kicking me while I'm LITERALLY down - 07/11/2017 05:00

Today, I was hit by a car while riding my bike, so I called my dad for help. He blamed me for the accident, said he wasn't sure what I wanted him to do, and suggested I call my mom instead. She isn't picking up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 613

You deserved it 288

By Anonymous - 06/11/2015 20:47 - Poland - Warsaw

Today, my roommate called me, but she's a cunt so I ignored her. A few hours later, I found out her mom and dad were in a serious car accident and she needed a ride to go see them at the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 999

You deserved it 32 262

STFU

By annoyedguy - 30/06/2009 11:20 - United States

Today, my girlfriend missed our date, so I angrily texted her, telling her if she can't make our dates then we should break up, and generally telling her off. Five minutes later I get a picture of her sleeping in a hospital bed from her mother, saying, "Shut the fuck up, she had appendicitis." FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 456

You deserved it 96 691

By Somethingtoworryabout - 26/10/2018 22:00

Today, I couldn't help but laugh at my girlfriend because she always becomes paranoid when she's around cars. I found her reaction cute and told her that "there's nothing to worry about". A car ran over me two hours later. I'm in a hospital now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 640

You deserved it 818

By wwasmer - 27/02/2009 17:43 - United States

Today, I hit a car while trying to answer a phone call from my mom. I quickly answered the phone and shouted "What!?". To which she replied, "I just had a bad feeling in my gut about you so I wanted to make sure you were ok." FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 867

You deserved it 16 926

By nolips - 19/11/2009 15:53 - Norway

Today, my girlfriend woke up very early in terrible pain. I drove her to the hospital and fell asleep in the waiting area. When I woke up, my car was gone and it was 9am. She had assumed I just walked home (32 miles), so she took the car. I was the only one in the waiting area. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 048

You deserved it 3 157

By michelle91 - 02/12/2009 11:36 - Malaysia

Today, while stepping out of the shower, I slipped and cut my head. I went to the hospital, got 8 stitches and was tested for head trauma. After hours of ignoring my calls and texts, my girlfriend finally responded, very angrily. Why? Today is her birthday, and I "selfishly made it about me." FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 122

You deserved it 4 152

Thanks, guys

By Sophie - 27/12/2011 04:21 - United Kingdom

Today, I got hit by a car. My friends left me to get to the hospital myself. The cab was double fare. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 118

You deserved it 2 474

Next

Top comments

cinnamania 3

Saturday 9 May 2009 2:52

Oh, wow. She's lovely.

Luckster 0

Saturday 9 May 2009 2:59

Bitches like that make me ashamed to be a woman. Time for her to become an Ex. I hope you're well!

Comments

Phishyz 0

Saturday 9 May 2009 3:00

I would call that a relationSHIT!

vgmaster 0

Monday 7 June 2010 8:36

^^ win!!!

maxibenji 0

Friday 3 September 2010 2:20

lol

LilKonvicted 0

Saturday 9 May 2009 3:02

Maybe its that time of the month? XD

brydeec 0

Saturday 9 May 2009 3:03

Wow, she sounds like a total bitch. Curbstomp her the next time you see her.

Rainbow_Monkey 0

Saturday 9 May 2009 3:03

On the one hand, you seem to be dating a heartless bitch. On the other hand, she probably had a point and maybe you should stop telling her what to do...

Always_And_Never 0

Saturday 9 May 2009 3:03

That sucks man, I hope one of your buds picked you up.

nixnix 0

Saturday 9 May 2009 3:04

LOL@#11....sounds like my relationSHIT!!!!!

foreverisabelx3 0

Saturday 9 May 2009 3:05

#11 FTW!

JFox 8

Saturday 9 May 2009 3:06

Well, she's perfectly sane..

Juli_fml 0

Saturday 9 May 2009 3:06

did she realize you had been a patient?

drybamboo 0

Saturday 9 May 2009 3:07

I have a feeling you kind of deserve it. One wonders what you did to her to receive such a response.

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Keywords

Work Management Awkward Friends Miscellaneous Healthy Lifestyle Health Relatable Mother in law Gifts Birthday Family Money Public freakouts Education Parents Pranks Students Exams Weird Love AITA Argument Fear Insects Skincare Cats Job interview Jealousy Gross

The Top

Today, I had dinner with my girlfriend of five months along with my mom and dad. It all was going fine until my mom asked aloud, "Everything going smooth for you in the bedroom?" to which my girlfriend replied, "No." I'd actually been painting the master bedroom at my parent's house for some extra cash. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 440

You deserved it 4 299

Today, I was at a big meeting at work. The CEO was reaming the hell out of us for our recent poor profits, when I accidentally let rip a vile fart. I was then subjected to a 10 minute tirade of abuse for "trying to be a funny man", and told that whatever small chance I had for a promotion is now gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 450

You deserved it 6 068

The Top

Today, grateful that my husband has been helping out more around the house, I figured he’d hired someone since he hates cleaning. What I wasn’t expecting was that he hired some chick in skimpy/kinky underwear that he found on Craigslist. Apparently the “lingerie cleaning service” is a thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 985

You deserved it 269

Today, my best friend told me she's been in love with me for over 4 years. I'm getting married to the man of my dreams in a month and she's supposed to be my bridesmaid. "Awkward" doesn't even begin to describe our friendship right now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 635

You deserved it 2 032

Today, while trying to spice up our marriage, we decided to get a hotel room and roleplay as strangers who meet in a bar and have a one night stand. By the time I got there, he was engrossed in the football and on the beer. He didn't notice me arrive and when he did, he was too drunk to get the roleplay right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 444

You deserved it 275

Today, I realized that I can't shave my unibrow because I have too much acne on my forehead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 620

You deserved it 10 353

Today, my girlfriend came home with a huge bouquet of roses. They were from an admirer, brainwashing her to think I'm a terrible boyfriend for not buying her flowers like he did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 546

You deserved it 12 127

Today, I managed to score a date for the first time in over a year, and was very nervous. When I was asked what I do for a living, I laughed nervously, and then blurted out, "Finger women." What I was trying to jokingly say was that I'm a gynecologist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 974

You deserved it 39 652