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I wasn't going to say anything, but out of fear some misinformed soul tries to use household bleach, when people do anal bleaching they use very specific skin lightening gels and creams. You can't use household bleach on your bum, although even the gels and such made for it can cause damage and scarring. People can also have laser treatments done professionally, which have been known to occasionally result in burns that become so infected they need to be lanced.

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If a girlfriend told me to wax my hairy back (if I had one) I wouldn't fucking do it. There's no point changing yourself for someone else if you yourself don't care about it. By the way, the "if I had one" in parentheses applies to both "a girlfriend" and "my hairy back".

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39- Why would you come on here spreading those lies? Bleaching does hurt a lot of people. It causes burns, irritations, occasional infections, and scarring. Some women don't have a problem with it- apparently, you are one- but don't say things like "it's not like it hurts or anything." It causes damage to a lot of people.

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"Can you damage your skin, potentially causing pain and damage, because I think your butthole would look better as a blonde?" seriously ridiculous. If she doesn't want to, she does not have to just because some idiot happens to think she should "doll up" her waste portal.

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Oh, by the way 56, I can explain everyone "flipping a bitch" about your opinion. Welcome to FML.com, where people will most likely not agree with you, and do their best to prove you wrong. That's just the way things go here. Enjoy your stay.

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"I just don't see the difference between someone saying, "have you ever thought about going blonde?" Or "have you ever thought about bleaching your asshole?"" Euhm, I see a big difference. You know, your hair colour is very visible, it does actually change how pretty you are. Some people are prettier with coloured hair, others with their natural colour... But bleaching your butthole? It's a friggin' butthole, meant to let shit out of your body, why the heck would you bleach that? Oh yeah, I see, because your porn-loving boyfriend has such an eye for detail that he can't accept your butt looks like... a butt. Relationships are about compromise and understanding, true true, but it goes two ways. You're saying: "OP, just bleach it for him, he likes it and it's not that big of a deal (eventhough you can get health problems because of it, herpderp). If you love him, you could change yourself a little." and I say: "OP's boyfriend, your girlfriend doesn't want to bleach her butthole, it's a big deal for her. If you love her, you could change yourself a little and accept your girlfriend as she is. Butty Butthole and everything."

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Perhaps you caught on that no one cares if you complain about the way they react to your opinion? I've seen guys agree that you shouldn't have to do something for your partner if you aren't comfortable with it. Not just women's rights, HUMAN'S RIGHTS.

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Oh, and another thing. You listed a bunch of things people do to make themselves attractive. I only do, and have only ever done, one of those things. I shave. I shave my face. And more importantly, I don't expect anyone to do these things, because I have no reason to. OP can do whatever she wants to herself, but it should be her own decision, and not something her boyfriend pressures her into.

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You know, you make sone good points there. As you said, relationships are about compromise. As DjeePee clearly noted, (you must not have been paying attention) Why should she have to be the one to compromise? Compromising isn't just about doing what the other person's every will is, it's also about shrugging off someone's flaws, especially physical. I really hate that you missed the part about human rights too, you just aren't a good student. It's interesting that you understand that pornography manipulates the male mind to have unusual expectations about women's appearance, but you also condone the idea that it's ok to conform to expectations the porn sets.

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Yep, my boyfriend has a tooth I'm not too fond of. I suggested maybe seeing an ortho to fix it to be more comfortable for him. As we discussed that he mentioned that he didn't appreciate my nail biting habit. So we won't through the discussion and process together. Those were good decisions for us. But never ever never would I consider changing if I was told to. Especially something so personal and intimate like that.

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To Becca's #65 comment. The make up, hair styles, teeth whitening etc is seen by random strangers almost everyday. A bleached butt is seen by ONE person (besides the bleacher). So comparing the two doesn't work. I know I'm way late in the convo but I had to point that out.

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Oh dear, I guess I have to wait 4 more years to be on a close minded 20 year old's level. Darling, narrow minded and bitchy is more along the lines of what you're doing, by saying OP shoild just do what he wants no matter how she feels about it, and bitching about the feedback you're getting :) Sorry, try again later. Majority doesn't like what you have to say.

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God, Becca, I feel so sorry for you and for everyone else who wants to be as perfect as possible. There are a lot of women who shave every inch of their body, refuse to leave the house without the perfect make-up on (I'm one of them, sadly), shave their eyebrows off to draw perfect ones, straighten their curly hair to curl them again, perfect this time, get breast implants for the perfect size of boobs, whiten their normal teeth to perfect white ones... Perfect, everything must be perfect. If you're happy with that, ok, good for you. Be happy by changing yourself into the perfect woman, completely shaved and even with a shiny, fresh, bleached butthole to release your shit. But please, realise that women are allowed to think otherwise. If they're happy with their 'disgusting', natural, feminine body, let them be. They have every right to think so. (I'm only talking about women here because men have less beauty-pressure than us. Those lucky bastards.)

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Oh you're definitely not close minded. "Really makes me consider your point of view worth considering." Bringing up my age as a reason you shouldn't regard what I say, "Oh god, women's rights, blah blah blah." It really sounds like you're taking what other people opposing you have to say in consideration. Ways you have been complaining: "Go ahead and be bitchy and call me names" "Everyone flip a bitch on me for giving my opinion." Sounds like you understand when people disagree with you. You were asking for a condescending tone.

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Compare it to a shaved vagina maybe? It's easily done and not so out of the ordinary. (although some don't view bleaching as out of the ordinary). And I try not to be condescending to anyone even if our views differ. Level headed debates are a lot better in my opinion because you leave learning more and respecting different opinions. Personally, I wouldn't bleach my butt. I'm not one who worries a whole bunch on my looks. If you think bleaching is okay and no big deal, it's your opinion and it's not like it's such a bad thing. The possible infection that got brought up is a legit possibility but some people just have sensitive skin. Like me. I break out when I use certain waxes for hair removal. Ultimately, it's up to OP is she wants to bleach or not. Her boyfriend failed at delivering that statement which is the point of the FML anyway. OP may not have thought anything of her butts looks anyway.

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Now we're getting somewhere! Really, Becca, there wouldn't be such a shitstorm if you just wrote this instead of all the 'bleaching you anus is sexy and normal' posts. But, here's still a little sidenote: people worry about their looks as much as they do, because some people say things à la "a dark butthole is disgusting" or "armpit hair is disgusting". Just saying.

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This was a great read. "BLEACHING YOUR BUTTHOLE IS OKAY!" "NO, BUTTHOLES ARE NOT MEANT TO BE BLEACHED!" "BLEACH THE ANUS@@@@@!" "NO, HUMAN HOLES ARE NOT MEANT TO BE BLEACHED!!!@@!" With a few sprinkles of "you're close-minded" on top.

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Fml121785, and 6000 years ago, Egyptian women shaved themselves bald. Shaving your vagina may be a common practice nowadays, but it's still not that healthy. So let's just hope that bumbleaching will never become a fashiontrend.

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108- it was in recognition for his distaste in a darker tone. I'm not stating that he is racist, but it follows a somewhat similar concept. Like tslling Michael Jackson to bleach his body. Not the same situation or intensity, but in the same category.

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Actually, Michael Jackson bleached his body because he had a disease that was bleaching his skin in spots. He just bleached his body at once so it wouldn't look odd; like if a person shaves their head bald before chemo.

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I understand that it was something hhe did because of his disease, but it was for cosmetic purposes. So if he chose not to, it would be like telling him to, just because you personally thought he should. It doesn't affect you, you just have to look at it.

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So becca, when my ex asked me to shave off my eyebrows i should have done it to make him happy? What about me? You don't have to change your appearance just to make someone else happy. You should do it for yourself if that's what you want to do. Yes relationships are about compromises, but he asked at the wrong time in the wrong place. If he wanted her to he should have waited when they were done or the next day and bring it up softly. Not while they are in the middle of sex. My husband prefers brunette a, I am a blonde, I am not just going to due my hair just to make him more attracted to me. He already is. If I did dye it, it would be for me that I felt I needed a change.

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The main problem I have with this is the delivery. I seriously doubt her asshole was so disturbingly dark to turn him off, mainly since they were having sex to the verge of her orgasming. He should have saved it for a later time if he had an issue with it. I don't think asking someone to bleach their sensitive body parts is a small favor, and what's next, should she bleach and snip her vagina to look like a generic sex object? Hair is one thing, I personally don't think it's a big deal to trim or wax it, as it grows back. If my partner asked me to alter my coloration or shape, especially during sex I would be horribly offended. Those conversations can be had, but it's still alarming that some people believe its okay to permanently change your body to be appealing. Especially for something so ridiculous as a 'dark' asshole.

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3, 43, 45- You are all absolutely stunning examples of well-rounded, tasteful, young human beings. I love you all. +25 to faith in humanity. *no sarcasm* **no homo** ***but lots of hetero***

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As a side note tho - FYL... That was a dickish way to go about it. Relationships should be about *respectful* communication. He should have politely asked you to do it, not demanded it. In the end (no pun intended) its your choice, and he needs to respect it whether he likes it or not.

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I'm not going to argue with Becca's idiocy, since she doesn't seem to realize that you really can't MAKE people see your point of view, but I'd like to say something about her idiotic attack on someone's age. Becca- the fact that you need to attack someone's age shows exactly how mature you are. Just because you're 20 doesn't make you an adult. If you were mature, you'd let it go already and accept that nobody agrees with you. P.S. Attacking someone's argument because of their age is actually called an ad hominem FALLACY. You've committed several fallacies, but I'd like to point out the most obvious. P.S.S. I probably won't see any responses to this, since I actually don't care about what shallow immature attacks you'll come up with for me. But I'm sure you'll do your worst, so I'll applaud you in advance. (not)

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Thank you, 157. Age seems to be the sore thumb about me with these people. I've obviously given valid arguments, I'm not impudent. My age doesn't make anything I say less true, or more incorrect.

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I don't see why everyone is ganging up against you. Obviously OP doesn't want to bleach her hole, and you stated that you understood that many times. People need to calm down. It's an opinion. It's not like your telling her "get over yourself and do it for him" you simply stated that you think it's ok do do something small to please your lover. I agree with that fully. Personally I wouldn't do it tho... I would probably talk to him about it tell him the reasons I'm against it and hope he understands.

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The reason Becca is being ganged up upon, is because when someone's opinion contrasted hers she got upset and ranted about it (calling those who did bitchy), then claimed to be open minded to listen to other's opinions. Everyone gets burned on FML at least once before you learn to take the positive and negative feedback. I've been burned before, mercilessly. If someone doesn't agree with you, it's acceptable to try and prove your point, but it's pushing it to start calling people out for not solely agreeing.

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I got this, DjeePee. Shaving irritates skin/leaves cuts on skin, making you more susceptible for STDS, as well as razor burn/ bumps, etc. which can bring on scarring or possibly infection. They both promote ingrown hairs, when the hair grows back. Also, the hair is there to hold in moisture, and help to keep some things out, much like eyelashes do for eyes, or the "lips" do for the same area. I'm sure there are more reasons, but that's what comes to mind.

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Wow. You guys and girls really went to town on her because she voiced an opinion didn't you? Personally, I read that the original FML was more about how it made her feel at the time and it ruined her 'moment' as she was 'getting close'. She wasn't referring to whether she would or wouldn't do the act. In fact, it's impossible to tell from the information whether she had ever really performed this personal adjustment or not. Perhaps she had previously and it had been some time since and her natural colour had reasserted itself? You are making assumptions and projecting your opinions on the correctness of it all. I agree that noone should HAVE to change for someone else. We all understand that, even the poster here that you are all attacking. However some people CHOOSE to do so for their own personal reasons. Whether it be lose weight, wear something not quite the norm, or even eat food or go places they wouldn't normally (shopping for shoes, as a stereotype I don't agree with). These are of course less personal and serious than the discussion here. However we would need to address the whole motivational psychology of interpersonal relationships to determine whether this is a healthy thing or not and how much change is to much. Personally I don't mind making small adjustments to things I don't care about ( back hair) to satisfy my partner. Other things may involve a discussion. I believe the girl was referring to the crap timing and unsexy comment rather than the whole psychology of their past and the basis of her relationship. And let the other girl comment without going to town on her. She has an opinion. If you don't agree, say 'I disagree' and move on. This is a site for fun.

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Lol, sexual interaction? Do you know what that is? Do you know what body fluid is? Spit, semen, blood, sperm, ladyjizz, sweat, snot... And guess what lives in each of these? GERMS. Guess what STDs are? GERMS. Guess how people get AIDS? Someone's AIDS-nfected blood/fluid coming in contact with mucous membranes aka open wounds n what not. The tiniest cut, yo.

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Lol if done properly and constantly, it won't negatively affect the skin. Hmmm. I like that strain of logic: If I hit my head against a brick wall with enough force and consistency, I will avoid a concussion.. Seems solid enough.

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179- She never said that the cuts in the skin cause STDs- she said that they make you more susceptible. That is true. Any microscopic cuts and abrasions can make a person more susceptible to STD's during sexual interactions, giving the bacteria and viruses extra openings. As to your next comment, why would you take the time to tell us you hate proof reading, instead of just proof reading? When you purposely make that many errors, it's like lacing little grenades with glass and launching them at our eyes. Proof reading is a glorious responsibility to others.

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An std is a disease/virus not a germ. Semen/ladyjizz/Sperm all come from sexual interaction. I understand how you get aids but didn't I just say if done properly you will not get any cuts? That is completely illogical, my statement pertained to shaving and shaving only.

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You are indeed correct that is my bad. Microscopic cuts can come from anything, whether it is shaving/scratching or whatever. The reason I said that afterwards is because I felt in a rush to get my comment up, I made an account just to comment on this. My errors were not on purpose they are either from my phones autocorrect or just from me not being perfect. I proof read when it is of importance and in my opinion this is not of much importance.

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Wow, oh my goodness, young lady. You really need to be informed. Here's a snip-it from the first site on Google, pertaining to STDs being germs: "What is a sexually transmitted disease? A sexually transmitted disease, also called an STD, is an infection that is spread by having sex. STDs are contagious diseases caused by germs. They are usually passed on to others through sexual intercourse or other sexual contact." I'm not sure where you got your Sex-Ed information, but if you need a refresher course, Google can lead to some credible information.

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Briana- Whether it happens to you or not is not what seperates it from fact or fiction. It is possible to cut while shaving there just as a man would his beard, or a woman would accidentally cut herself while shaving her legs. As for saying if done properly, you won't receive any cuts or abrasions, if done properly, you can successfully post a proofread comment on FML. I understand typos, but getting facts wrong? I don't know why you think that area would be invincible to it. As it has been said, especially STDS like AIDS or Herpes, will go through any opening they can, not just the mucous membrane of the genitals, or mouth. It can enter the body at any area that it is introduced to broken skin. As for the "germs" not being a cause of STDS, I don't even remember anyone claiming that. I could be wrong. But STDS are generally viral, or there are STIS, the only differences being cause and treatability, that stands for sexually transmitted infection.

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If the ONLY reason for pubic hair was evolution due to lack of clothing THOUSANDS of years ago, then why hasn't evolution taken its course and eliminated it? Shaving a womans pubic hair has only been mainstream for what, 30 or so years? It was brought about through porn and mass media, much the same as the idiot boyfriend telling OP to bleach her ass hole.

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193: Yeah, straightening your hair takes longer and is more dangerous than rubbing some benzol peroxide cream on your butthole. I'm pretty sure it's got a bigger carbon footprint too.

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It is Brianna I don't like when people spell my name wrong. Other then the microscope cuts that were mentioned before, if done PROPERLY you will not cut yourself. I don't know if you shave or not but if you don't you should know it is as hard to cut your vagina as it is to cut your armpit, which is a lot harder to cut then your face or legs. I'm talking about noticeably larger cuts like you would get on your legs not the cuts you get for shaving against the grain or to fast. Which fact are you referring to because i don't believe it is invincible? Hair isn't needed for protections is what I'm saying. I understand- IT IS NOT GOOD TO HAVE CUTS ON YOUR VAGINA. either way whether you shave or not you will have microscope cuts from everyday things like scratching.

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Actually, doctorhook83, a good portion of the argument was based on compromise, not just the new fad of bleaching her butthole. Yes, I believe it is an unusual request to make of a partner, and no, I do not view the anus as an erogenous zone. Here's why: While there is plenty of healthy creativity in the sex world today, not all of it is safe. Being said, no sex is 100% safe, anal sex is more likely to cause serious health problems. Anal fissures for example. Also, the theory (or perhaps fact) that anal sex stretches out your butthole. It depends on size of both parties, but I understand that this problem actually does happen. More tears are involved vs. vaginal sex, because the vagina is made for sex. The anus was built to put things out. Anal sex is fine for anyone else to do, but because one does not accept it, that does not mean they are prudish. They can very well have plenty of healthy fetishes and fantasies. Considering in the FML that they were not having anal sex, he was simply in the vicinity of her butthole, I would say you're going out on a limb. I disagree with Becca because of the way she handled criticism, and her view of what compromise is. It says in the FML that he told her she really needed to, as well as choosing during sex, near climax, as the setting. I do not view that as healthy compromise, nor OP just doing what he wants because we're already far gone enough in vanity. He should have asked her if she would mind doing it, if not, then great. If so, he could take no as an answer or they could somehow find something they can agree on.

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Oh excuse me, I meant brinnabro ious. A microscopic cut is all it takes actually. In addition to microscopIC cuts, The majority of the time, unless it is your first, the razor will be running over razor bumps or ingrone hairs from previous sessions. Either way, any gyno can tell you it is not a good idea to shave your pubic mound, because you can't actually shave the vaginal area. Trimming is the best option in most's opinion.

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It's fine, it's my last name people get wrong. Yes I know that is what I said, you just restated it. This is not true, if done constantly you will not have razor bumps and if done properly (getting all or almost all of the hair) you should be fine. I have talk to many adults in the medical including my regular doctor, my mother(who is a nurse) and a gyno, all of which said it is not bad or incorrect to shave down there. They do say trimming can be better especially if you don't do it regularly. My point- shaving is a matter of preference not health. (Almost everything humans do have a slightly or large negative effect, like drinking pop put if consumed moderately is a choice of preference not health)

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203: Anal sex isn't necessary for the asshole to be considered erotic--maybe the OP's boyfriend like butts and just doesn't want to look at shitstains. Frankly, this FML doesn't provide enough info to judge the compromises the OP and her bf make. (FWIW: the bit about stretching out your asshole is horseshit; it's a muscular sphincter, and it will return to its regular size if flexed and if given time. Also, no, big cocks won't make a girl permanently loose in her vagina, either.) PS: Your arguments would be stronger if you were more succinct.

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Really, I don't find briefly giving the gist of things to be stronger for an argument. I would say elaborating, giving details, and examples is more sufficient in getting your point across, rather than simply restating general ideas. But, by all means, use generalization to your advantage if you believe it to be so.

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65 if it wasn't crazy then you could go to the hair salon, ask for a trim and butt bleaching and not a single fuck would be given. But that's not the case is it?

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beccaishereyay, I admire that you're standing up for yourself and your opinion. I personally agree with you. And that fact that people don't have anymore of a life than to sit here and bitch about what you say and vote you down is pathetic. It's FML, it's an app for Entertainment, that's it. People need a hobby that doesn't involve a cell phone or any other electronic gadget being attached to them 24/7 .

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217: You've gotta write for the medium and the audience. If this were an essay or a structured thesis, you'd be spot on, but on the Internet you need to make your point in as few words as possible if you expect people to consider them. Just a friendly piece of advice :)

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Not that I necessarily agree with the vagina hair/ evolution theory, but we can't rely on our bodies to eradicate something just because it isn't used anymore. For example the appendix, or vestigial finger bones in flippers of mammals. Evolution takes a very long time, and apart from moments of rapid evolution, isn't something that would happen in a few hundred or even thousand years. Of course this is a comment that is not approved by the intelligent design consortium. (long live the flying spaghetti monster!) :)

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I don't think I've ever wanted to meet a perfect stranger as badly as I do Becca, namely just to spit at her feet for being such an awful human being. It's people like you who cause the youngsters who read shit like this to have the array of beauty/weight/anxiety disorders that plague our species. If you're so afraid of being disgusting, you might as well give up because you already are.

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I read the first 20-30 comments replying to number 3, and I can't believe I waisted that much of my life reason about bleaching butt holes. i feel sorry for a anyone who read the 100 or so it took to get to mine. I truly feel bad for you..

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My phone spazzed out then shut down so I'm not sure where I was going with that... But I guess my main point was thanks. It's nice to have some support :) And to the girl who said she wanted to meet me just to spit at my feet... How unbelievably rude are you?? How dare you call me an awful human being for my opinion on a physical trait? How dense are you that you cannot see that I did not ONCE say I think girls should be perfect and that everyone should be obsessed with perfection. I also never once brought myself into the argument other than to say what I might do in that situation. So because I think women should be able to want a bleached asshole without being judged, that means I'm disgusting? If women want to enhance their natural beauty, who is the rest of the world to try and stop them? I'm sorry I don't believe in judging women because they want to look different then they do. Since when is it a bad thing to change the way you look? Not everyone is happy with their natural selves and there's nothing wrong with that. It's human nature to be insecure. It's human nature to want to better yourself. So do you judge others who have gotten plastic surgery, or other things that some people in this society are so ridiculously against? Because let me tell you now, there is nothing wrong with it. If women feel better about themselves after undergoing cosmetic procedures, why the fuck would you think that's wrong. "Everyone should love themselves for who they are and what they were born with" - I've heard a lot of people say things like that and think that they are above people that have altered their appearance. How is it fair that the people who were insecure to begin with get ridiculed when they are finally happy with how they look. Don't tell people what to do and how to feel. That is the beauty of our nation; we are free to act as we please (to an extent). If some girl wants to go get some DDs put in her chest, who the fuck cares? The "beauty/weigh

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Becca I think it's fucking hilarious how you're completely flopped on what you said before and are now saying the complete opposite just to attempt regain your horrendous composure. No matter what you say, I don't care. You can call me any name in the world. I didn't say girls were disgusting, you did. Don't put words in my mouth.

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Becca, despite the fact of your obliviousness to reality, I must give you credit for arguing so long through so many thumb downs. But honestly, was it worth it? You are wasting your time constantly replying to something that someone said. Get on with your life. This is the Internet, where everyone acts tougher than they really are. Don't take this shit personally.

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Jessica- well since I didn't say girls were disgusting, I'm pretty sure you're the one putting words in my mouth. And I'm also pretty sure you're the one who attacked me even though I did nothing to you. You're the one who called me disgusting. You're the one who said she wants to meet me just so she can spit at my feet. You're the one saying I'm corrupting "youngsters". And you're trying to make me the bad guy? Yeah. Nice logic.

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Rofl 43, there are a lot of stupid comments on here, but equating a hate of poopstained flesh with racism is the most retarded thing I have ever heard. In fact I call you a racist for the implication that poopstained skin and people with different skin colors have anything in common.

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It's because he said it in terrible way, and many people think you shouldn't have to change yourself for a lover and they shouldn't ask you to. I know I'm a bit late on this post but I'm bored :D if I was asked by the guy I love to bleach my bum I wouldn't, because it's a butthole and shouldn't be such a big deal that it's dark. I wouldn't ever ask my guy to change a thing about him, even if I don't like it, but that's just me!

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#56 the thing about compromise is they both have to do it. For example if she didn't want to bleach her butthole and he didn't want to have to look at her butthole the way it is than maybe they don't have sex in a position that one of them isn't comfortable. Also you mention that it's simply not a big deal that goes both ways too, since it's no big deal why doesn't he just deal with it?

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4- Yeah, this is an excellent identifier that the world is going to hell in a hand basket. People who take issue to natural asshole may as well eat Ajax n Febreze so they can literally be like "their shit don't stink". It'll become a natural way to shit your own car freshener.

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140: The world is not now nor ever has been "going to hell in a handbasket". Furthermore, if it were, I'd be much more concerned about the economy and global geopolitical conflicts before I started caring about what colour people want their bums to be.

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Its natural color is not your skin tone. The pigmentation of the genital areas are usually darker than the rest of the body. Although it /can/ be caused by poor hygiene that is usually not the case. Genetics, age, and irritation are the main causes of the darker pigmentation.

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