Intimacy: Today, I was going down on my girlfriend when I noticed a hickey...

By tehhotness - 27/03/2009 14:13 - United States

Today, I was going down on my girlfriend when I noticed a hickey near her hip. I said, "wow, last night was crazy, I don't even remember doing that!". Without even interrupting the action, she simply said, "You didn't". FML

I agree, your life sucks 102 766

You deserved it 6 783

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Same thing different taste

Someone else

By Anonymous - 30/01/2020 20:00

I agree, your life sucks 4 166

You deserved it 379

By Anonymous - 01/07/2013 18:03 - United States - Pleasantville

Today, I saw my girlfriend for the first time in weeks. She had a hickey. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 414

You deserved it 6 291

By W T F - 03/06/2015 07:22 - United States - Jacksonville

Today, I gave my girlfriend a hickey barely an inch from her vagina. She texted me later, saying her dad saw it and had grounded her. So yeah, I'm not sure I even want to know what the hell goes on in their house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 108

You deserved it 3 640

By Anonymous - 29/12/2014 02:49 - United States - Wilmington

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. Things got heated and I yelled, "Who's your daddy?" With a blank expression she replied, "I don't know." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 303

You deserved it 17 957

By IloveJapan - 02/04/2012 14:02 - Japan

Today, my boyfriend gave me a hickey. On my forehead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 427

You deserved it 10 139

By tkrause - 01/04/2013 17:17 - Canada - Nelson

Today, my boyfriend came over with a hickey on his neck. He thinks "The vacuum did it" is a believable excuse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 426

You deserved it 4 158

By allalone - 14/07/2010 00:33 - United States

Today, I put the vacuum cleaner hose against my neck to give me a hickey, so that it would look like I got some action. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 320

You deserved it 45 444

By hoovered - 04/03/2009 16:24 - United States

Today, my friends decided it would be funny to give me a "hickey" with a vacuum cleaner while I was passed out drunk. Not only do I have to try and explain this to my girlfriend, but we're meeting her parents for lunch this afternoon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 046

You deserved it 22 448

By Anonymous - 01/06/2013 07:51 - United States - Portland

Today, I was making love to my fiancée, when she dug her nails into my back and told me to "choke" her like I did last night. I was at work last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 90 090

You deserved it 6 169

By Anonymous - 16/03/2012 20:23 - Ireland

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting heated, and he started to go down on me. In excitement, I accidentally drove a knee into his face. No amount of fondling his diddlestick made him forgive me for his bloody nose and swollen eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 758

You deserved it 13 668

songstress4life 0

Friday 27 March 2009 20:05

Wow... she didn't even kinda feel remorseful. Sorry, dude!

Shadowflames420 0

Friday 27 March 2009 20:06

she still your girlfriend? wtf is wrong with you! dump her!

Comments

swannygirl 0

Saturday 28 March 2009 5:01

Ouch!

Anonymus101 4

Saturday 28 March 2009 6:07

Dump her, the cheating bitch doesn't deserve you.

Jordn_fml 0

Saturday 28 March 2009 6:18

Wow.... thats so rude... What a bitch

KTteaspoon 0

Saturday 28 March 2009 9:00

What a ****. her, not you. go #56

lololol_fml 0

Saturday 28 March 2009 12:41

#58 HAHAHAHA I like your style And #44, wtf, She's obviously a cheating *****.

Vehicle 1

Saturday 28 March 2009 17:05

Okay if it was a hickey, WHY are you still with her? But, it could just be a bruise... Hopefully the second!

Marysenjo 0

Saturday 28 March 2009 17:18

i agree with #45 1) who'd give you a hickey on your hip??? 2) if i had a bruise on my hip (which i have a lot, since i'm clumsy and bump into stuff all the time) and my bf was going down on me and just said: oh i can't remember doing that, i wouldn't think about cheating. i'd think he meant giving me a bruise and'd react the same way she did so my bf'd proceed doing what he was doing before. DONT dump her. it's most probably a bruise.

effevery1slife 0

Saturday 28 March 2009 19:47

haha... did u continue eating her out?

vvtumblesbee 0

Sunday 29 March 2009 3:11

agree with #45. her nonchalance seems to indicate that she took it as "oh wow i don't remember bruising you there." if "last night" really was that crazy, it wouldn't be surprising if she (and/or he) were a little scraped up. i don't think "you didn't" is such an unreasonable response in that situation.