Intimacy: Today, I was going down on my girlfriend when I noticed a hickey...

By tehhotness - 27/03/2009 14:13 - United States

Today, I was going down on my girlfriend when I noticed a hickey near her hip. I said, "wow, last night was crazy, I don't even remember doing that!". Without even interrupting the action, she simply said, "You didn't". FML

I agree, your life sucks 102 766

You deserved it 6 783

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Same thing different taste

Someone else

By Anonymous - 30/01/2020 20:00

I agree, your life sucks 4 166

You deserved it 379

By Anonymous - 01/07/2013 18:03 - United States - Pleasantville

Today, I saw my girlfriend for the first time in weeks. She had a hickey. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 414

You deserved it 6 291

By W T F - 03/06/2015 07:22 - United States - Jacksonville

Today, I gave my girlfriend a hickey barely an inch from her vagina. She texted me later, saying her dad saw it and had grounded her. So yeah, I'm not sure I even want to know what the hell goes on in their house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 108

You deserved it 3 640

By Anonymous - 29/12/2014 02:49 - United States - Wilmington

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. Things got heated and I yelled, "Who's your daddy?" With a blank expression she replied, "I don't know." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 303

You deserved it 17 957

By IloveJapan - 02/04/2012 14:02 - Japan

Today, my boyfriend gave me a hickey. On my forehead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 427

You deserved it 10 139

By tkrause - 01/04/2013 17:17 - Canada - Nelson

Today, my boyfriend came over with a hickey on his neck. He thinks "The vacuum did it" is a believable excuse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 426

You deserved it 4 158

By allalone - 14/07/2010 00:33 - United States

Today, I put the vacuum cleaner hose against my neck to give me a hickey, so that it would look like I got some action. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 320

You deserved it 45 444

By hoovered - 04/03/2009 16:24 - United States

Today, my friends decided it would be funny to give me a "hickey" with a vacuum cleaner while I was passed out drunk. Not only do I have to try and explain this to my girlfriend, but we're meeting her parents for lunch this afternoon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 046

You deserved it 22 448

By Anonymous - 01/06/2013 07:51 - United States - Portland

Today, I was making love to my fiancée, when she dug her nails into my back and told me to "choke" her like I did last night. I was at work last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 90 090

You deserved it 6 169

By Anonymous - 16/03/2012 20:23 - Ireland

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting heated, and he started to go down on me. In excitement, I accidentally drove a knee into his face. No amount of fondling his diddlestick made him forgive me for his bloody nose and swollen eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 758

You deserved it 13 668

songstress4life 0

Friday 27 March 2009 20:05

Wow... she didn't even kinda feel remorseful. Sorry, dude!

Shadowflames420 0

Friday 27 March 2009 20:06

she still your girlfriend? wtf is wrong with you! dump her!

Comments

popoman 0

Thursday 9 July 2009 17:24

You should have punched her in the ****** right there. Of course, you should have asked her where it was from first.

commonsensex 0

Tuesday 21 July 2009 16:00

Ouch.

cmac86 23

Friday 24 July 2009 5:18

S-L-U-T! what a bitchy *****!

alex_rose_x 0

Friday 30 October 2009 1:24

Badaboom.

iThink_fml 0

Wednesday 6 January 2010 15:51

i would ducked her, cam in her eye and said **** off but that's just me

Jeremy36 0

Wednesday 5 May 2010 0:27

96 lol that would be funny as hell

1inbed 0

Monday 1 February 2010 10:06

wow thts not cool

ekdfml 20

Saturday 14 August 2010 4:21

I'm a gymnast and I have bruises that look like hickeys all the time. so I think it's a bruise

Corneliu99 0

Saturday 18 September 2010 13:50

Don't date ******....

luscious123 0

Thursday 27 January 2011 0:45

HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHH that sucks!

lucyinthesky420 10

Sunday 30 October 2011 17:56

LOL. Obviously no shame in her game. I think that's the end of your relationship, but that's just a guess.

Keywords

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Today, there's a stray black cat in my apartment complex. It had badly bitten me two months ago and I had to get several injections. Today the same cat barged into my flat when I opened the door to receive a delivery, and it attacked my cat. I barely managed to fight and push him out of my flat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 401

You deserved it 72

Today, I threw an elaborate surprise birthday party for my boyfriend of four years. He thought we were going to a quiet dinner but when we arrived, thirty of his friends jumped out and surprised him. Instead of kissing me to thank me, he broke up with me because of how easily I had lied to him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 721

You deserved it 4 756

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Today, my boyfriend sent me a text saying to call him. When I did, it went straight to voicemail. It was a recording of him breaking up with me. He broke up with me over the phone, without even talking to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 795

You deserved it 3 283

Today, after five months of not working, I have a check waiting for me at the office. Too bad the office is in another city. My gas tank is empty, and I have no money to put gas in my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 198

You deserved it 3 651

Today, a few weeks after coming out to my parents, my mother randomly asked me, "Your father and I have tried anal sex a few times, but it hurts too much. D'you have any advice on what to do?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 525

You deserved it 396

Today, I discovered that I have developed an allergy to salt water on my face. Now, every time I sweat or cry, I come up in a bright red rash. I am allergic to my own bodily fluids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 850

You deserved it 3 602

Today, my wife and I went shopping for new glasses at a local store, but we didn't really get to actually buying one. On our way back, she warned me that my glasses of choice should in no way be 'those big arty ones'. When I asked her why not, she told me that I 'look gay enough already'. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 758

You deserved it 6 348

Today, I went to a seminar about non-prejudice and acceptance. I spent the whole time being made fun of because of my pink shirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 043

You deserved it 227

Same thing different taste

Someone else

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