Intimacy: Today, I was getting into the mood with my boyfriend. Ten minutes...

By unforgettablee - 29/04/2013 07:08 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I was getting into the mood with my boyfriend. Ten minutes into it, I told him to "teach me a lesson." His response: "I ain't no teacher." FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 731

You deserved it 13 038

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

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Same thing different taste

Sexy talk

By suckstosuck - 23/07/2013 04:04 - United States - Dana Point

Today, I was getting freaky with my boyfriend and told him to spank me. In a seductive voice, he told me not to tell him what to do. Continuing, I asked him how he was going to punish me, to which he then replied, "I'm going to punch you straight in the face." FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 734

You deserved it 13 678

By belljars - 18/04/2014 02:27 - United States - Riverside

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex and in the heat of the moment I cried out for him to go harder. He had an exasperated expression on his face, and in an adamantly offended tone he said, "Don't tell me what to do." Then he stopped and left the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 960

You deserved it 9 117

By sarajj - 29/03/2013 21:36 - United States - Littleton

Today, I felt frisky, so I went over to my boyfriend's place, hoping to have some fun. I brought over a movie, and part-way through it, I started feeling him up. He responded by sighing, "That's really fucking annoying, babe. Cut it out, yeah?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 677

You deserved it 9 280

Pick your moments, dude!

By Anonymous - 11/10/2019 00:01

Today, my boyfriend and I were having a romantic night. As we were having sex, he decided to say, "Look mom, no hands!" and it totally ruined the mood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 891

You deserved it 333

Excuuuuuuse me?

By Anonymous - 24/12/2012 13:32 - Canada - Toronto

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. I was getting pretty horny, and I thought some dirty talk would turn him on. Amid my panting, I breathed the words, "Fuck me." He then stopped and said, "Excuse me, I don't like hearing that language." and wouldn't continue until I corrected myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 440

You deserved it 11 495

Remote sex

By Anonymous - 05/02/2020 05:00 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I thought it would be fun to have a sex session with my boyfriend. I sent him a suggestive message, and 30 minutes later he texted me back to let me know he was done. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 358

You deserved it 342

By Anonymous - 03/07/2015 19:29 - Canada - Winnipeg

Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He replied by telling me to fuck off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 673

You deserved it 3 469

By MulticoloredSlug - 13/10/2016 10:57 - United States - Philadelphia

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting heated. We were having a lot of fun until I decided I wanted to be on top. He instantly got soft. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 412

You deserved it 1 406

Make believe

By somebodyelse - 17/08/2009 05:13 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting pretty hot and heavy, then he said, "Let's pretend you're someone else." FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 862

You deserved it 5 508

By omgwhyme - 08/01/2012 14:36 - United States

Today, my boyfriend asked me for a blow job. After I said "no" over ten times, he decided to get up and slap me across the face with his penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 400

You deserved it 49 337

noelasis94 18

Monday 29 April 2013 12:18

that's because he's a substitute teacher, and we all know they never know the lesson.

lhazz11 23

Monday 29 April 2013 12:18

Maybe you should give him grammar lessons instead of sex sessions

Comments

nikolkaw 9

Tuesday 30 April 2013 7:51

You should graduate and try something else :) talk in a way that you KNOW will get him going ;)

01Ben21 10

Tuesday 30 April 2013 8:44

Sometimes us guys need a little more time. There is a reason women are generally 2 years further ahead than us on maturity...

Capt_Obvious 11

Tuesday 30 April 2013 20:04

Buy him 50 Shades...he needs to learn before he can teach.

icepick23 12

Tuesday 30 April 2013 23:02

Try a sexy schoolgirl outfit?

Inked0803 12

Wednesday 1 May 2013 8:37

Mood offically dead.

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The Top

Today, I was babysitting this 12 year old. We were watching a movie, and he was being an angel just laying with his head in my lap. He fell asleep so I closed my eyes and had a little nap. When I woke up he had taken my shirt off and was feeling up my boobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 260

You deserved it 14 934

Today, I have a horribly painful throat infection and can't talk. In spite of this, Dad keeps insisting I call people for him, meaning I have to make use of a text to speech program. Eight out of twelve people I've called on his behalf have hung up, thinking I'm a scambot. Dad is blaming me for it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 397

You deserved it 82

The Top

Today, and for the last two weeks, my asshole landlord refuses to fix the hot water supply. My shower is now so cold that peeing on myself while washing is actually helping. I need a new place. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 079

You deserved it 83

Today, my laptop plug got stuck in the wall outlet. I stood there for 10 minutes violently trying to yank it out. My boss came in and screamed at me for making noise. I was angry, so I glared at him and yanked on the plug as hard as I could. It dislodged itself noiselessly and I fell over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 278

You deserved it 42 116

Today, I found an old photo album in my Facebook account, which had pictures of previous hangouts with people I called friends at the time. I deleted it because they progressively cut ties with me over time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 682

You deserved it 228

Today, during the trailers at the movies, my boyfriend elbowed me in the ribs and smiled when an ad for a weight loss institute was shown. FML

I agree, your life sucks 88 987

You deserved it 17 324

Today, I was on vacation, when a very cute guy starting talking to me and asked me what my name was. Overwhelmed and stressed out, I blurted out that I didn't have one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 457

You deserved it 102

Today, I discovered that if I work out, I can't get an erection, but if I don't work out, my penis functions fine. This wouldn't be such a problem if I wasn't a professional bodybuilder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 740

You deserved it 13 521