Intimacy: Today, I was getting into the mood with my boyfriend. Ten minutes... - FML

By unforgettablee - 29/04/2013 07:08 - United States - Los Angeles

Spicy

Today, I was getting into the mood with my boyfriend. Ten minutes into it, I told him to "teach me a lesson." His response: "I ain't no teacher." FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 731

You deserved it 13 038

May Day: Lily of the Valley and Misunderstandings
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Same thing different taste

Sexy talk

By suckstosuck - 23/07/2013 04:04 - United States - Dana Point

Spicy

Today, I was getting freaky with my boyfriend and told him to spank me. In a seductive voice, he told me not to tell him what to do. Continuing, I asked him how he was going to punish me, to which he then replied, "I'm going to punch you straight in the face." FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 734

You deserved it 13 678

By belljars - 18/04/2014 02:27 - United States - Riverside

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex and in the heat of the moment I cried out for him to go harder. He had an exasperated expression on his face, and in an adamantly offended tone he said, "Don't tell me what to do." Then he stopped and left the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 960

You deserved it 9 117

By sarajj - 29/03/2013 21:36 - United States - Littleton

Today, I felt frisky, so I went over to my boyfriend's place, hoping to have some fun. I brought over a movie, and part-way through it, I started feeling him up. He responded by sighing, "That's really fucking annoying, babe. Cut it out, yeah?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 677

You deserved it 9 280

Pick your moments, dude!

By Anonymous - 11/10/2019 00:01

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I were having a romantic night. As we were having sex, he decided to say, "Look mom, no hands!" and it totally ruined the mood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 891

You deserved it 333

Excuuuuuuse me?

By Anonymous - 24/12/2012 13:32 - Canada - Toronto

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. I was getting pretty horny, and I thought some dirty talk would turn him on. Amid my panting, I breathed the words, "Fuck me." He then stopped and said, "Excuse me, I don't like hearing that language." and wouldn't continue until I corrected myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 440

You deserved it 11 495

Remote sex

By Anonymous - 05/02/2020 05:00 - Australia - Melbourne

Spicy

Today, I thought it would be fun to have a sex session with my boyfriend. I sent him a suggestive message, and 30 minutes later he texted me back to let me know he was done. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 358

You deserved it 342

By Anonymous - 03/07/2015 19:29 - Canada - Winnipeg

Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He replied by telling me to fuck off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 673

You deserved it 3 469

By MulticoloredSlug - 13/10/2016 10:57 - United States - Philadelphia

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting heated. We were having a lot of fun until I decided I wanted to be on top. He instantly got soft. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 412

You deserved it 1 406

Make believe

By somebodyelse - 17/08/2009 05:13 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting pretty hot and heavy, then he said, "Let's pretend you're someone else." FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 862

You deserved it 5 508

By omgwhyme - 08/01/2012 14:36 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend asked me for a blow job. After I said "no" over ten times, he decided to get up and slap me across the face with his penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 400

You deserved it 49 337

Next

Top comments

noelasis94 18

Monday 29 April 2013 12:18

that's because he's a substitute teacher, and we all know they never know the lesson.

lhazz11 23

Monday 29 April 2013 12:18

Maybe you should give him grammar lessons instead of sex sessions

Comments

Kaylan_Paige 6

Monday 29 April 2013 21:50

So we can assume sexy nun is out too?

jdime209 2

Monday 29 April 2013 23:08

OP should have at least said, "beat me up"! Lol

AlexiAwesome 10

Monday 29 April 2013 23:39

Aaaaaaaand we're done

Xyph8 1

Monday 29 April 2013 23:58

he doesnt sound like he deserves you OP

CloudFox 6

Tuesday 30 April 2013 0:05

Do guys think that's weird? That's totally something I would say but I don't wanna creep the guy out :/

nunnsii92 9

Tuesday 30 April 2013 0:31

Maybe you should've told him about the naughty schoolgirl/teacher fantasy first?

dancinwookie 21

Tuesday 30 April 2013 2:02

She could always deny his loan application. Now, that's some kinky stuff right there.

chuckcloninger 12

Tuesday 30 April 2013 2:11

I think FluffyDemise had the best comeback. Either he is bored with your sex life and has no ideas (or desire) to improve it or he's dumb as a post. My God, a woman begging to be taught something new and different!

netdemon 11

Tuesday 30 April 2013 3:49

Should have brought a paddle to bed to make it a little more obvious

BananerzFresh 12

Tuesday 30 April 2013 4:13

Someone's not very kinky.

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The Top

Today, I was driving to visit my parents for the first time in two years. After spending about $4000 to make sure my car wouldn't break down on the journey, around the halfway point, the front tire popped and the engine blew out. I'm about 5 states away from both my parents and my home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 732

You deserved it 489

Today, I got my yearbook. My sister and I are identical twins, and we realized only my sister had a picture in it. When we asked the head of yearbook, they said they thought it was the same girl trying to get two pictures, so they put in the prettier one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 564

You deserved it 2 470

The Top

Today, my boyfriend and I were fooling around in his car when things got hot and heavy and we decided to climb in the back. After we finished we started to put our clothes back just as a someone's brights flooded into the car. It was a cop, and he had been there the entire time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 125

You deserved it 40 938

Today, my mother is so overdramatic that her response to finding out I lost a friend's book was that I should fake my own death rather than fess up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 693

You deserved it 3 262

Today, when leaving my apartment, I instantly noticed there was a giant dump truck in our lot, which turned out to be directly behind my car. After making a 20-point escape from my parking space and getting to work late, my roommate texts me, "DUDE guess what I got last night." A giant dump truck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 783

You deserved it 2 221

Today, I was hanging out with my best friend. Depressed, I started telling her about my terrible week. A woman came over and asked me to not be so "whiny and negative" in front of her children. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 291

You deserved it 7 727

Today, a stranger came up to me with a flirty smile, greeted me by my name, and asked if I remembered him. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't remember, so I asked him to tell me. He promptly left with a disappointed look. He was the most gorgeous person I've ever seen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 811

You deserved it 7 675

Today, my boyfriend of 6 months asked me to spend the night at his apartment for the first time. I had to poop really bad when I got there, so I used his only bathroom. He went after me, and came out a few seconds later, gagging. Apparently, I clogged his toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 066

You deserved it 7 035