Intimacy: Today, I was getting into the mood with my boyfriend. Ten minutes... - FML

By unforgettablee - 29/04/2013 07:08 - United States - Los Angeles

Spicy

Today, I was getting into the mood with my boyfriend. Ten minutes into it, I told him to "teach me a lesson." His response: "I ain't no teacher." FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 731

You deserved it 13 038

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Same thing different taste

Sexy talk

By suckstosuck - 23/07/2013 04:04 - United States - Dana Point

Spicy

Today, I was getting freaky with my boyfriend and told him to spank me. In a seductive voice, he told me not to tell him what to do. Continuing, I asked him how he was going to punish me, to which he then replied, "I'm going to punch you straight in the face." FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 734

You deserved it 13 678

By belljars - 18/04/2014 02:27 - United States - Riverside

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex and in the heat of the moment I cried out for him to go harder. He had an exasperated expression on his face, and in an adamantly offended tone he said, "Don't tell me what to do." Then he stopped and left the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 960

You deserved it 9 117

By sarajj - 29/03/2013 21:36 - United States - Littleton

Today, I felt frisky, so I went over to my boyfriend's place, hoping to have some fun. I brought over a movie, and part-way through it, I started feeling him up. He responded by sighing, "That's really fucking annoying, babe. Cut it out, yeah?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 677

You deserved it 9 280

Pick your moments, dude!

By Anonymous - 11/10/2019 00:01

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I were having a romantic night. As we were having sex, he decided to say, "Look mom, no hands!" and it totally ruined the mood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 891

You deserved it 333

Excuuuuuuse me?

By Anonymous - 24/12/2012 13:32 - Canada - Toronto

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. I was getting pretty horny, and I thought some dirty talk would turn him on. Amid my panting, I breathed the words, "Fuck me." He then stopped and said, "Excuse me, I don't like hearing that language." and wouldn't continue until I corrected myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 440

You deserved it 11 495

Remote sex

By Anonymous - 05/02/2020 05:00 - Australia - Melbourne

Spicy

Today, I thought it would be fun to have a sex session with my boyfriend. I sent him a suggestive message, and 30 minutes later he texted me back to let me know he was done. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 358

You deserved it 342

By Anonymous - 03/07/2015 19:29 - Canada - Winnipeg

Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He replied by telling me to fuck off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 673

You deserved it 3 469

By MulticoloredSlug - 13/10/2016 10:57 - United States - Philadelphia

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting heated. We were having a lot of fun until I decided I wanted to be on top. He instantly got soft. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 412

You deserved it 1 406

Make believe

By somebodyelse - 17/08/2009 05:13 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting pretty hot and heavy, then he said, "Let's pretend you're someone else." FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 862

You deserved it 5 508

By omgwhyme - 08/01/2012 14:36 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend asked me for a blow job. After I said "no" over ten times, he decided to get up and slap me across the face with his penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 400

You deserved it 49 337

Next

Top comments

noelasis94 18

Monday 29 April 2013 12:18

that's because he's a substitute teacher, and we all know they never know the lesson.

lhazz11 23

Monday 29 April 2013 12:18

Maybe you should give him grammar lessons instead of sex sessions

Comments

AnimeBitch 14

Monday 29 April 2013 16:07

He ain't.

youknowimright 5

Monday 29 April 2013 17:11

He aint never been no student either

laden_swallow09 34

Monday 29 April 2013 17:13

Obviously.

SweetasCandy0609 28

Monday 29 April 2013 17:16

men so clueless sometimes, hasn't he ever heard of role playing what a mood killer.

ViviMage 38

Monday 29 April 2013 17:30

I are not no teacher. Someone should teach him that double negatives are frowned upon in English, but ok in Spanish!

Evgeny2222 11

Monday 29 April 2013 17:51

Isn't "ain't no" some sort of slang?

unixdude 9

Monday 29 April 2013 18:01

Am I the only one to realize "teach me a lesson" means "beat the shit out if me"? Your BF did you a favor, sweetheart.

tj4234 35

Monday 29 April 2013 18:52

no, everyone realised it. Just no one else felt the need to comment the obvious. Now go back and sit in the cupboard.

ChibiChibi_fml 27

Monday 29 April 2013 19:18

It also doesn't always mean "beat the shit out of me". In many **** videos it just means "Screw me really hard and maybe pull my hair a bit" Usually while the man mumbles phrases like "yeah take it, this will teach you to flirt with Ted".

tj4234 35

Monday 29 April 2013 19:49

sorry chibichibi, I thought unixdude meant what you said. Joys of being dyslexic.

ShakeDisPlace 10

Monday 29 April 2013 19:03

A few oral lessons should help ;)

MDTeddy 13

Monday 29 April 2013 19:09

She said something smexi. Anyway, why can't people just have sex? Talking seems to ruin sex. Well, not really, but only the stupid people like that guy.

Tim2415 16

Monday 29 April 2013 21:20

"I AIN'T NO teacher" well that just explains it all...

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The Top

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The Top

Today, I drove my car into a fence because a spider was crawling from the mirror. The police laughed their asses off. One of them asked, "What should I write in the report? That she got scared of a spider?" Then he wrote just that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 433

You deserved it 841

Today, I had breakfast at a hotel in Jamaica. The bill came to $1087 Jamaican Dollars, which is roughly $8.30 USD. When they swiped my Visa card, the hotel accidentally charged me $1087 USD. That's the most expensive omelet I've had in my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 181

You deserved it 159

Today, I was out shopping with my mom. While we were walking, a guy in a car honked at me. I'm not used to compliments, so I was pretty flattered and flashed him a smile. He looked back at me, confused, then shook his head and pointed at my mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 551

You deserved it 6 009

Today, I was taking a shower when I seized, tripped over the edge of the tub, and broke my nose by slamming my face in the open toilet. Thank you, epilepsy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 838

You deserved it 181

Today, my family and I are driving down to France and it's going to take 4 hours. If that wasn't bad enough, my mum decides that she is going to listen to the CD my sister bought her for Christmas on repeat for the whole journey. It's Lady Gaga. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 025

You deserved it 9 254

Today, my boss at my new job yelled at me for being 15 minutes early to work. Last week he yelled at me for being late for my shift when I arrived 5 minutes early. He's considering this my final warning before I'm fired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 195

You deserved it 710