Animals: Today, I was feeding some ducks. One of them choked to death...

By Anonymous - 24/06/2013 16:41 - Belgium

Today, I was feeding some ducks. One of them choked to death on the old bread. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 715

You deserved it 15 285

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Same thing different taste

By bouda - 15/05/2011 18:19 - France

Today, I killed a pigeon. It choked to death on a piece of bread I threw its way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 065

You deserved it 7 552

By Evil_Angel_90 - 10/09/2013 11:36 - Australia

Today, in order to try and get over my slight fear of swans, I went down to the local park to feed them. One decided that I looked tastier than the bread I was throwing and chased me around the feeding area while everybody laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 019

You deserved it 6 256

Dangerous words

By lily - 30/08/2009 20:17 - United States

Today, my friend and I were making sandwiches at his house. His family's dog wandered over just as I dropped a large chunk of cheddar on the floor. The dog snatched it up and ran away with it. I yelled after it, jokingly, that I hoped it would choke and die. It did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 143

You deserved it 54 636

By nomorepetbird - 06/01/2010 03:30 - United States

Today, my pet bird died. He had caught some illness and had been extremely sick for the past few days. He didn't die from the illness though. My dog ate him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 079

You deserved it 3 868

By Anonymous - 14/04/2009 14:07 - United States

Today, I was walking through the park eating fries. There was an old woman feeding a few pigeons. They didn't seem too interested, so I threw some fries down as I walked by to try and help her out. About 2 minutes later, I heard screaming. A huge group of pigeons were attacking the old woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 531

You deserved it 19 897

By roze198765 - 04/08/2011 01:19 - United States

Today, my cat died in the process of eating, and choking on, my hamster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 855

You deserved it 4 377

By anonymous - 20/08/2009 06:22 - United States

Today, I was eating with a friend while walking on the sidewalk. A couple of pigeons were bothering us so I threw a fry onto the street. As a flock of pigeons were gathering around the fry, a truck drove by. Only four survived. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 522

You deserved it 49 958

By Anonymous - 29/01/2011 08:09 - France

Today, my cat died while walking around the kitchen. He had a heart attack when the toaster popped out two slices of bread. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 496

You deserved it 4 479

By DuckyKiller - 20/06/2009 12:11 - United States

Today, I was at a pond taking pictures with my new camera. I saw a mama duck leading her babies around and decided to get in closer to take a picture. Mama duck got spooked and led her babies too close to a waterfall escaping. One fell off. It never surfaced. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 554

You deserved it 57 448

By NightHawk4926 - 09/09/2015 22:15 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, I was at the park when I saw a homeless man. I gave him my sandwich, since he needed it more than me. Seconds later, he was attacked by a flock of birds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 334

You deserved it 1 751

perdix 29

Monday 24 June 2013 23:00

Why didn't you Heimlich the poor thing?

rhyannon11 7

Monday 24 June 2013 22:59

Poor duck!

Comments

kenbez123 10

Tuesday 25 June 2013 8:23

looks like you're having a bread day

DyslexicPanda 12

Tuesday 25 June 2013 9:00

Is it bad that I laughed a little when I first read the fml?

Rozza17 29

Tuesday 25 June 2013 10:23

#113: I honestly don't think it's bad that you laughed a bit because I did to

roachyroo 5

Tuesday 25 June 2013 10:57

I have gotten screamed at for the bread thing! My son yelled right back at the self righteous old bag. Now I feed them bird food.

jonha21 11

Tuesday 25 June 2013 13:31

Dexter

angel55033 12

Tuesday 25 June 2013 15:20

**** the ducks life. :(

qwertyu_ioplk 9

Tuesday 25 June 2013 16:04

dead duck day! about a boy!

Grimnirwher9 21

Tuesday 25 June 2013 16:08

In Belgium, it's against the law to feed the ducks in the parks.

myeviltwin 20

Tuesday 25 June 2013 16:15

I'm going to hell. I laughed pretty hard when I read this. It was a shocked I can't believe that laugh........... but still :P

TiffGreen 11

Tuesday 25 June 2013 17:29

Murdererrrrrr!!

Keywords

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Today, after spotting my ex-boyfriend's truck in a desolate parking lot, I decided to "decorate" the muddy side of it with a rather large male appendage. After checking around me to make sure there were no witnesses, I got to work. I probably should have made sure he wasn't sitting in the truck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 280

You deserved it 49 811

Today, after taking my girlfriend on a date, she invited me back to her place for "hot coffee and dessert." Excitedly, I said yes. When we got there, we actually had coffee and dessert. When I told her this wasn't what I'd had in mind, she kicked me out for being a pervert. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 154

You deserved it 68 071

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 52 880

You deserved it 3 275

Today, my ex-boyfriend got high and decided to text all our friends and family the crazy stories about us. He was even nice enough to include pictures. I hear a nude one made it to my Dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 093

You deserved it 13 515

Today, I had a walk-in: a tiny tick, crawling through my bathroom window, looking down at me in the shower, wondering whether I might be tasty. The window was closed, by the way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 640

You deserved it 106

Today, it's been 3 weeks of being sick with gastritis and constantly feeling pain and weak. I've been pushing myself to work, and despite doing 150+ files, my boss said it’s not good enough for the company and hinted I might be let go. I got my job during the pandemic and might be losing it after 3 months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 116

You deserved it 83

Today, a stranger was kind enough to plow my driveway during a blizzard. However, they were not kind enough to leave their number after plowing the front end of my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 851

You deserved it 2 776

Today, I sat down in a hair salon. The guy getting his hair cut before me then told the girl doing the cutting that he's on a 2-week quarantine and he's not sure whether or not he's got Covid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 083

You deserved it 98

Same thing different taste

Dangerous words

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