Intimacy: Today, I was driving down the road when I got to a red light....

By Smash_Mouth - 08/03/2009 05:36 - United States

Today, I was driving down the road when I got to a red light. I looked over and saw a hot chick in a convertible so I spoke to my window thinking she couldn't hear me "Hey girl, I may have a tiny dick but I make up for it in speed and stamina." She looked over. I forgot about the sunroof. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 573

You deserved it 86 970

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Same thing different taste

By embarrassed - 21/07/2009 04:14 - United States

Today, I was driving and saw two hot girls on the sidewalk so I rolled down the window to whistle at them. However, I failed to notice that the car in front of me had stopped at a red light. I rear ended the car, the girls ran away laughing their asses off, and now I have to pay for the damage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 779

You deserved it 117 655

By queenbitch - 20/04/2015 01:39 - United States - Dearborn

Today, I pulled up to a red light. My ex was in the next car, and my car's windows are so tinted that you can't see through them, so I flipped him off. I was driving my mom's car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 876

You deserved it 30 696

Dingus

By Anonymous - 26/06/2010 13:24 - Tanzania United Republic of

Today, I was driving along when I saw a hot girl walking. I decided to impress her by doing a 180 degree turn. Successfully pulling off my trick, I decided to back up so I could go the right way. Not looking behind, I backed up and smashed into a wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 803

You deserved it 65 995

It's not what you think, sorry

By Anonymous - 30/01/2010 07:04 - United States

Today, I was driving home and stopped at a light. A cute guy in the truck ahead of me waved me forward and told me to roll down my window. It was the first time a cute guy had talked to me in a while so I was pretty excited. He told me to turn my lights on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 329

You deserved it 10 223

Cool moves

By Anonymous - 06/07/2009 22:36 - United States

Today, I was in my car and a cute guy pulled up next to me. He looked at me and smiled, but in order to be cool, I pretended not to notice. I also pretended that I was listening to music and was completely absorbed in it, singing passionately. I wasn't even listening to music and my window was down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 020

You deserved it 82 810

By Anonymous - 24/02/2014 15:21 - United States

Today, I was driving along, and went to spit out my window. My window was up. This happened in heavy traffic. People saw. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 077

You deserved it 51 891

Ostentatious

By dgordo3 - 09/02/2009 01:01 - United States

Today, on my way home from watching a movie with a girl, I began having an erection because I thought I could kiss her goodnight. She dropped me off at home, and with my full blown erection, I walked in front of her car with the headlights on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 420

You deserved it 46 454

By mentallyscarred - 31/01/2011 09:34 - United States

Today, while I was waiting at a bus stop, a man stopped at the red light and smiled at me. I smiled back. He blew me a kiss and drove away, just as I realized he was masturbating behind the wheel. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 147

You deserved it 4 703

Play it cool

By NathanPlays - 23/04/2011 01:39 - United States

Today, a very attractive girl moved in across the road from me. As I was leaving, I noticed she was looking out her window at me. I tried playing it cool, only to end up tripping over my own feet, hands in pocket, and faceplanting the hood of my dad's car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 098

You deserved it 20 244

By wench - 23/12/2010 20:39 - United States

Today, while driving, I idly started picking my nose. I looked over at the car next to me and saw a smoking hot guy from my school staring at me in disgust. He kept staring until I took a turn-off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 557

You deserved it 36 618

Esperantist 0

Sunday 8 March 2009 15:20

This is where you point to your non-existent bluetooth headset on the side of your head facing away from her and say "Ha, this lady thought I was talking to her- Sorry Miss!"

Hgm09 0

Sunday 8 March 2009 15:27

So now, not only did you announce your inadequate penis size to this young woman, but you've managed to tell the rest of the world, too. I mean, it's not really a big deal, but you obviously care enough to be embarassed that she heard you. You're pretty dumb.

Comments

Cassy_fml 0

Sunday 8 March 2009 15:54

Wow, you're really asking for "small penis" jokes. Well, YDI for your chauvinistic comment, your absent-mindedness and posting this on a public website. I'm still giving you a point for your sincerity, though.

jennyozz 0

Sunday 8 March 2009 15:57

what has me confused is that you were talking to yourself... about your dick.

need_cheese 0

Sunday 8 March 2009 15:59

Perfect technique to get a woman.

dizzlewizzle 0

Sunday 8 March 2009 16:41

jeez everyone is so critical of people who post their FML's. get over it, it's only entertainment. judging people on one incident that most likely makes you laugh is stupid.

hawkmcge3 0

Tuesday 3 August 2010 6:17

dizzlewizzle teehee

Racheldee 0

Thursday 9 February 2012 5:00

Same thought.lmao!

alwex 0

Sunday 8 March 2009 16:55

well said dizzlewizzle

alex_vik 0

Sunday 8 March 2009 17:07

So you were trying to pretend to talk to her? Are you really that pathetic you can't even talk to someone for real?

dyne 0

Sunday 8 March 2009 18:31

He was probably just making a joke to himself with it, we all do stuff like that sometimes even if what we say isn't true. Don't be so mean :p jumping on the poor guys back.